on communal living
I love communal living. There are plenty of practical reasons to have roommates, like lower expenses, people available to watch your pets, shared chores, shared resources, etc. However, I suspect the primary draw for me is not practical. Instead, it appeals to my emotions and my upbringing.
I grew up in an 825 sq ft house with four other people. My parents eventually built an addition, but even then the place remained small. The house was never empty, and I never slept in a room alone at home. In fact, I had trouble when visiting my grandparents' house, because they put me in a room by myself. I've had my own room for maybe four years of my entire life, and those were not consecutive.
I don't think it's part of my basic nature to live like this. Most Virgos like a superclean environment, need plenty of time alone, and tend to be more solitary. I do need a lot of private time, but my upbringing forced me to develop coping mechanisms that middle-class kids with their own rooms just didn't have to learn, like how to carve out privacy for myself in a small, crowded house, or how to read in a loud room. I learned to accept the inevitable clutter (though I remain vigilant about a clean kitchen). While I definitely have some pet peeves that get tweaked in a communal setting, I work hard to not let them get the better of me. I know how to discuss and negotiate household issues appropriately. I can handle the noise and chaos of people and animals constantly underfoot.
Because of my upbringing, I actively like being surrounded by people in my home environment. (This cannot be said for public places like very loud parties or the dressing room at the theater when it gets crowded.) I like having folks in the house, even if we are doing our own thing in separate rooms. It's definitely a comfort thing: living with friends feels familial and familiar to my Younger Self. I like encountering kitchen conversations. I like knowing what's going on in my roommates' lives. It's probably another remnant of my childhood that I like cooking for people so much: to my Fetch, abundance of food / home-cooked meals / eating at the dinner table = love, comfort, family, happiness. I grew up watching movies together as a family (the kids weren't allowed to watch TV without my parents) so I love it when we watch movies as a household.
It's not for everyone. I've had plenty of roommates over the years who needed it quieter, calmer, or cleaner. One definitely has to be of a certain temperament to live with this many people. I don't know if all of my current roommates feel comfortable here for the same reasons I do -- probably not. But everyone currently living in the house right is flexible, tolerant, considerate, and has a great sense of humor, so it works just fine.
I grew up in an 825 sq ft house with four other people. My parents eventually built an addition, but even then the place remained small. The house was never empty, and I never slept in a room alone at home. In fact, I had trouble when visiting my grandparents' house, because they put me in a room by myself. I've had my own room for maybe four years of my entire life, and those were not consecutive.
I don't think it's part of my basic nature to live like this. Most Virgos like a superclean environment, need plenty of time alone, and tend to be more solitary. I do need a lot of private time, but my upbringing forced me to develop coping mechanisms that middle-class kids with their own rooms just didn't have to learn, like how to carve out privacy for myself in a small, crowded house, or how to read in a loud room. I learned to accept the inevitable clutter (though I remain vigilant about a clean kitchen). While I definitely have some pet peeves that get tweaked in a communal setting, I work hard to not let them get the better of me. I know how to discuss and negotiate household issues appropriately. I can handle the noise and chaos of people and animals constantly underfoot.
Because of my upbringing, I actively like being surrounded by people in my home environment. (This cannot be said for public places like very loud parties or the dressing room at the theater when it gets crowded.) I like having folks in the house, even if we are doing our own thing in separate rooms. It's definitely a comfort thing: living with friends feels familial and familiar to my Younger Self. I like encountering kitchen conversations. I like knowing what's going on in my roommates' lives. It's probably another remnant of my childhood that I like cooking for people so much: to my Fetch, abundance of food / home-cooked meals / eating at the dinner table = love, comfort, family, happiness. I grew up watching movies together as a family (the kids weren't allowed to watch TV without my parents) so I love it when we watch movies as a household.
It's not for everyone. I've had plenty of roommates over the years who needed it quieter, calmer, or cleaner. One definitely has to be of a certain temperament to live with this many people. I don't know if all of my current roommates feel comfortable here for the same reasons I do -- probably not. But everyone currently living in the house right is flexible, tolerant, considerate, and has a great sense of humor, so it works just fine.