Permanent: Everything will surely change[Series Part 5]
Adam was grateful when he was told that Allie had made it through the surgery. He felt like he'd been given a small gift. The gift of time, of friendship, of a little glimmer of hope. Food no longer tasted plastic and both he and Kris got back into thier work. Both of them knew that if she could, Allie would have thier heads for taking time out of thier work just because she was sick. Adam was grateful to have distraction. He needed to keep himself busy, he needed to think about something, anything else and he did. Slowly, he got back into his groove and watched Kris do the same.
One day he couldnt take it anymore. He snapped. The walls he had so carefully built since that last day in the hospital were rubble at his feet, and he was fighting through them just to get to her. Adam needed to see her, touch her, hear her. He needed to know she was still with him. Calling Kris seemed an appropriate thing to do, and the pocket sized male had no problem coming with. For this, Adam was glad. He didnt know what he was going to be faced with. But, he knew without a doubt that he was tired of being alone. All the drive there, he kept one hand on the wheel and one hand on Kris' elbow. This was simply out of the need to keep himself grounded, rooted in reality. Adam couldnt let his own loneliness swallow him anymore.
Kris walked in first. Allie looked up at him, almost accusing. Where the hell have you been? Her angry gaze screamed at him,. a swirling mess of brown and gold. She crossed her arms. Adam tried to keep the feeling of horror he felt from looking at her off of his face. Her beautiful hair was matted and clumped, probably from having to cut through it for the biopsy. Her fingers were curled into pads of her palms, permanently balled into fists. She just laid there, staring at them. Kris went to her, opening her closed arms so that he could fold into her. Adam grabbed them both in a bear hug, resting his chin on the bridge that the two heads pressed together created. He bit his lip as it trembled. Adam would not cry in front of her. There was a need to be strong, both for himself and Kris, but especially for her.
"What's happening to me?" she asked softly. Neither Adam nor Kris could come up with an answer that would be satisfactory.
"We love you Allie" Kris said in response.
There was a strangled noise from beneath Adam, Allie had let out a dry sob. "I love you too" she whispered brokenly.
Kris left for food at Allie's insistance shortly thereafter. Apparently, she needed chocolate pudding like Adam needed glitter. Kris could never deny Allie anything.
Once he was gone, it was Adam and Allie. They were alone for the first time since...he couldnt pinpoint when exactly. Probably since rehearsals for Slowride really. "Allie" he said softly, "can I brush your hair out for you?"
Surveying her, Adam contemplated the damage. Hurting her was not his intention, and he was going to avoid it at all costs if he could. They seemed to have shaven one side of her head to make the incision. It was healing well. As long as he didnt accidently brush over the stitches, which had yet to fall out, everything would be fine.
"Yes Adam" she said quietly as she looked up at him with tears pooling in those big beautiful brown eyes. "Please."
"Ill be right back honey, Im just going to the bathroom for a second." He got up gently, giving her curled fist a squeeze.
"Dont miss the toilet" Allie said softly, giggling.
"I wont, I promise" he laughed.
Going into the bathroom, he found a basin. Turning the taps, he filled it with a small amount of luke warm water and fished out Allie's soft bristle brush. He went back to her room and set the items on the small nightstand. Dipping the brush in the water, he tapped it on the basin's edge lightly to get rid of excess droplets. Adam began to part her hair gently as if he were going to braid it. Holding each gnarly strand in the palm of one hand, he brushed it out with one hand as gently as he could. "Let me know if Im hurting you" he told her softly. Allie just gave a little sigh, he took this as a good thing and kept going. Slow, soft and steady he brushed each strand. Occasionally he stopped to dip the brush again. Adam was halfway to the finish line when Kris walked in with a bowlful of pudding.
"Hey Alliebaby. Im sorry that took me so long, the line was huge." He took a seat on the foot of her bed and handed her the bowl, spoon already in it. She accepted it, one fist on either side of the dishware. Then she whimpered.
"I cant..." she let out a small, strained noise and stared at Kris. Being Kris, he understood immeadiately. Crossing his legs and scooting forward on the bed, he dipped the spoon in the puddle of chocolate and brought it up to her lips for her. Keeping one hand underneath the spoon to avoid any messes or spills, he fed Allie. Adam finished with the last of the snarls and gently tied it to one side of her head with a loose rubber band. Submerging his fingers in the last of the water for a moment, he took hold of the tail he'd just made and twirled it around his fingers lightly, making it come out in one long curl. "There you go little one" he fought to keep his tone light as tears that he was holding at bay threatened to choke him. Then she smiled. A really big, really pretty, really Allie grin, and Adam's heart soared.
"Thank you Adam, and thank you Krissifer."
Looking Kris in the eye at that moment nearly shattered Adam. There was so much fear, so much love and just a touch of anger in his eyes. His featured were strained, mouth set in a neutral position.
"Anything for you Allie, always."
Always and all ways.