love letter
Title: love letter
Rating: pg
Pairing: baekhyun/kris
Warning: implied character death
Summary: baekhyun has a huge crush on his physician. and he happens to have just a few months to live.
A/N: originally posted here for a prompt at exopromptmeme. edited and prolonged.
"doctor, do you believe in love at first sight?"
baekhyun woke up to faint murmurs and rustles of white uniforms and timid clicks of shoes that seemed so loud even through the door of his ward. he stretched on the bed and let out a satisfied grunt when his joints cracked with a loud pop. pulling his black beanie over his head, he sat on the bed and waited.
it was almost time.
at 8 o'clock on the dot, baekhyun's smile widened when a familiar figure slid open the door of his ward and took smooth, long strides towards his bed.
"good morning, baekhyun."
baekhyun stumbled with his words a little before he croaked out, "good morning, dr. wu."
"baekhyun, i thought we have agreed to call each other with our names," the other frowned slightly before stretching his lips to reveal a dazzling smile. "just call me yifan, okay?"
baekhyun nibbled on his lower lip; a naïve attempt to ward off the flush that began to spread to his cheeks. it didn't work, apparently. "um, okay, yifan-hyung."
yifan beamed and took a seat on the bed, not caring that his white coat would get crumpled and have a thousand wrinkles. "great! so how do you feel this morning?"
"just fine," baekhyun murmured, avoiding yifan's gaze on him. he squirmed a little when the blond physician reached out to touch his forehead with the back of his hand.
"hmm, i thought you might have a fever. your face looks a little red," yifan muttered before scribbling down on his notebook. "but you seem fine."
baekhyun shrugged and this time, he met yifan's eyes. baekhyun thought it was a bad idea because he suddenly forgot how to breathe. yifan grinned before pulling at baekhyun's nose playfully.
"we have a therapy session at 3pm today, little puppy," yifan said as he clipped baekhyun's file at the side of the bed. "don't wander around. i know you're always trying to find a way to skip your session."
baekhyun pouted and yifan gave a loud laugh before disappearing through the door. baekhyun groaned and plopped himself on the bed. he hated therapies.
"doctor, do you cure hearts or steal hearts? probably the latter because you treat cancer! haha isn't that funny? ^^"
baekhyun was diagnosed with a terminal illness when he was 10. it was a cruel fate, bestowed upon an innocent soul namely byun baekhyun. he was very naïve back then, always crying for his father to bring him home because he didn't like the hospital. he cried and cried until he had no more tears to cry when he started losing his hair because of the therapies. he didn't get why he couldn't go to school and learn science and history and arts when kyungsoo and jongdae could.
baekhyun didn't understand all these until he overheard his mother praying beside his hospital bed when she thought he was already asleep. his mother prayed, in silent tears, for her boy to recover, for her boy to get out of the confined space of the hospital and never come back again. it took all of baekhyun's willpower not to open his eyes and hug his mother when she quietly asked if she could trade her life for her little boy. since then, baekhyun didn't whine anymore.
time went by like the gentle spring breeze, lulling him into oblivion. baekhyun wished he could control the time. before he knew it, he was already 20; an adult. he didn't know how much longer he could live. he didn't know whether he was able to get a job like his neighbor, minseok, or whether he could further his studies in the university like his childhood friend, chanyeol.
sometimes, baekhyun would visit the children's ward because that was the first place that he recognized as his home. due to his condition, he was often hospitalized as a child and he spent most of his life there before he was transferred to the normal ward. that was when he first met dr. wu yifan, his new physician. his new hope. his new life.
his first love, perhaps.
baekhyun loved being in the children's ward. the kids were fond of him and he often played with them. they never gave him weird looks when he took off his beanie. he let the kids touch his hairless head and he smiled when they giggled because "baekhyun-hyung's head looks like a white pearl. baekhyun-hyung is pretty like a pearl!"
sometimes, baekhyun would see yifan in the children's ward too. at first, he thought it was weird because yifan was an oncologist, not a children's specialist. he hid behind the door, watching as yifan let the kids scramble all over him and make him carry them on his shoulders. baekhyun was jealous at first; yifan stole the children's hearts without even having to try.
baekhyun refused to talk to yifan because of that.
"i visited the children's ward yesterday."
baekhyun pretended not to listen as he concentrated on yifan's touches on his back. he trembled a little when the cold chestpiece of yifan's stethoscope greeted his skin. baekhyun wondered if yifan had noticed the little bumps rising on his skin whenever they touched. yifan was silent for a moment and he smoothed baekhyun's shirt down his back when he was done. baekhyun blushed when yifan's palm lingered a moment longer on his spine and he felt a little disappointed when the warmth of yifan's large hand quickly lifted off.
"the kids like you a lot," yifan said again and baekhyun turned to give him a questioning look. yifan smiled. "they were asking if i took great care of their baekhyun-hyung and a girl said she would never forgive me if i make you upset."
baekhyun's lips immediately quirked up and he felt so loved, so blessed to have the kids as his little friends. "that's so cool."
"i went there to look for you because the nurse said that's your territory," yifan chuckled and baekhyun's face flushed in embarrassment. he was about to apologize to yifan but his lips wouldn't move. not when yifan reached for his abandoned beanie on the table and put it on for him, smiling his signature stupid smile that baekhyun deemed unnecessary. needless to say, baekhyun's insides immediately turned into a pile of goo.
later that night, before starting his night shift, yifan found a mug of hot coffee on the table in his office. and the night after. and the night after. and he would thank baekhyun by secretly pressing his lips on the boy's cheek while he was asleep.
since then, baekhyun would often find yifan in the children's ward during his free time. since then, baekhyun had always been dreaming of yifan's charming gummy smile. since then, baekhyun could never look at yifan straight in the eyes without having his heart ricochet in his chest.
"doctor, did you notice the way i've been looking at you?"
baekhyun had lost count on how many times yifan had saved his life.
there was that time when he collapsed right after his therapy. it was one of the worsts, in fact. a terrible headache was gnawing at his head like greedy scavengers. the pain was so unbearable that tears trickled down his face. the pain would not ease no matter how hard he clutched at his head, no matter how hard he kicked his feet. at that time, baekhyun was hoping -- no, praying -- that he'd just die instead of suffering like this.
and then he heard yifan's voice calling his name over and over again and he felt yifan's warm hands cupping his face. baekhyun's harsh thrashes came to a stop as unconsciousness enveloped him like a dreadful, huge blanket of darkness.
when he woke up, he was alone. he heard muffled voices from the other side of the curtain and he strained his ears to listen.
"dr. wu, i respect your decision but your research on the cure is taking too long and we can see its toll on baekhyun's health. he's getting worse!"
"please, just give me more time," yifan's pleading voice entered baekhyun's ears. "i'm doing my best to find a cure for baekhyun's illness. i'm sorry but i can't let you give him the medication that you proposed. it's too strong and i'm afraid his body won't be able to take it."
"we're experts in this field, doctor," another voice said. "we know what we're doing. however, this is the last chance. if you're still unable to find the solution to this problem, we'll take baekhyun away and give him our medication."
there was silence and baekhyun held his breath.
"that's very generous of you," yifan replied quietly. "thank you very much, professors."
baekhyun clutched at his blanket when he heard yifan thanking his guests as he showed them the way out. when he thought that they were gone, he curled up in his blanket and cried. he didn't budge when the curtain was harshly pulled. he didn't expect to find yifan kneeling beside the bed and pulled him into a warm embrace. he didn't -- had never -- thought that yifan would cradle him in his arms and kiss his tears away.
"i will cure you, baekhyun," yifan whispered, his thumb caressing baekhyun's tiny hand that fisted on his white coat. "i will cure you so that i don't have to be your doctor and you don't have to be my patient. we'll just be wu yifan and byun baekhyun. i want to make that wish come true."
baekhyun blinked and looked at yifan in such a way that threatened to shatter the other's soul. "yifan-hyung, do you know how much longer i will live?"
yifan was startled at the sudden question. his lips quivered; all the feelings that he bottled up was on the brim, about to spill, and he was this close to breaking down after hearing that simple, innocent question. nevertheless, he smiled and grasped baekhyun's thin wrist, bringing the boy's hand to his chest. baekhyun's cheeks colored a little as yifan gently brushed his knuckles and baekhyun could feel the faint murmurs of yifan's heart on his palm. lub-dub, lub-dub.
"forever," yifan said. "you'll live forever, here."
"doctor, do you remember that time when those old men came and wanted to take me away? i felt a little angry but you sounded so sad. i was ashamed of myself for wanting to die when you're trying so hard to find a cure for me. thank you so much."
"baekhyunnie," a gentle voice called and baekhyun fumbled with the paper in his hand, trying to cover it with his hands. when he looked up, he saw one of the nurses that was in charge of taking care of him. he exhaled in relief.
"geez, noona, you scared me," baekhyun muttered.
"you look so concentrated," taeyeon laughed. "what are you writing? a diary?"
baekhyun huffed. "i'm not telling."
taeyeon feigned a shocked expression as she ran some checkups on baekhyun. "how could you? noona is hurt, baekhyunnie."
baekhyun just grinned widely and taeyeon smiled back, continuing her work.
"noona, would you please do me a favor?"
"oh? what is it?"
baekhyun bit on his lower lip and contemplated his thoughts. he knew taeyeon would scold him if he said this but she was the only one that he could trust.
"baekhyun?"
"noona, when i'm gone," baekhyun started and he already saw taeyeon's face drop but she waited patiently for him to continue. "will you please help me to give something to dr. wu?"
"baekhyun-ah, i don't like it when you talk like this," taeyeon let out a soft sigh. "but may i know what are you going to give to him?"
"a love letter."
"doctor, i like you. a lot."
a few months later and baekhyun was gone.
yifan patted the ground where baekhyun was buried and pulled at some weed that began to sprout. he clutched at baekhyun's letter. baekhyun's neat handwriting greeted him yet again as he read it for the umpteenth time. he still remembered the night when baekhyun passed away; he had the gentlest smile on his face and his eyes could never get livelier than they ever were when he looked at yifan for the last time.
yifan wanted to punish himself for failing. he had never felt more devastated and crushed when baekhyun heaved his last breath, looking like a beautiful angel. as he closed his eyes, yifan knew he would never see the light in baekhyun's eyes again. his face looked so calm and one could have thought that he was sleeping if they didn't know any better. yifan's frustrated scream resonated through the hallway and it was baekhyun's father who had squeezed his shoulder in comfort when the man himself was trying hard to conceal his tears.
baekhyun's final words gave him the strength to carry on. he promised himself that he would continue to find the cure. for baekhyun, and for himself.
"doctor, i will live forever, right?"
fin.
- to the anon op, i sincerely apologize because i don't think i interpret the prompt well. D: i had a slight hunch that you might want fluff but i just got carried away while writing and before i know it, i have 2k of angst here. there's still some fluff, if you squint hurhur ;;3;; you can virtually smack me eeepp.
- wish me luck for my finals~ which is tomorrow ahahah
Rating: pg
Pairing: baekhyun/kris
Warning: implied character death
Summary: baekhyun has a huge crush on his physician. and he happens to have just a few months to live.
A/N: originally posted here for a prompt at exopromptmeme. edited and prolonged.
"doctor, do you believe in love at first sight?"
baekhyun woke up to faint murmurs and rustles of white uniforms and timid clicks of shoes that seemed so loud even through the door of his ward. he stretched on the bed and let out a satisfied grunt when his joints cracked with a loud pop. pulling his black beanie over his head, he sat on the bed and waited.
it was almost time.
at 8 o'clock on the dot, baekhyun's smile widened when a familiar figure slid open the door of his ward and took smooth, long strides towards his bed.
"good morning, baekhyun."
baekhyun stumbled with his words a little before he croaked out, "good morning, dr. wu."
"baekhyun, i thought we have agreed to call each other with our names," the other frowned slightly before stretching his lips to reveal a dazzling smile. "just call me yifan, okay?"
baekhyun nibbled on his lower lip; a naïve attempt to ward off the flush that began to spread to his cheeks. it didn't work, apparently. "um, okay, yifan-hyung."
yifan beamed and took a seat on the bed, not caring that his white coat would get crumpled and have a thousand wrinkles. "great! so how do you feel this morning?"
"just fine," baekhyun murmured, avoiding yifan's gaze on him. he squirmed a little when the blond physician reached out to touch his forehead with the back of his hand.
"hmm, i thought you might have a fever. your face looks a little red," yifan muttered before scribbling down on his notebook. "but you seem fine."
baekhyun shrugged and this time, he met yifan's eyes. baekhyun thought it was a bad idea because he suddenly forgot how to breathe. yifan grinned before pulling at baekhyun's nose playfully.
"we have a therapy session at 3pm today, little puppy," yifan said as he clipped baekhyun's file at the side of the bed. "don't wander around. i know you're always trying to find a way to skip your session."
baekhyun pouted and yifan gave a loud laugh before disappearing through the door. baekhyun groaned and plopped himself on the bed. he hated therapies.
"doctor, do you cure hearts or steal hearts? probably the latter because you treat cancer! haha isn't that funny? ^^"
baekhyun was diagnosed with a terminal illness when he was 10. it was a cruel fate, bestowed upon an innocent soul namely byun baekhyun. he was very naïve back then, always crying for his father to bring him home because he didn't like the hospital. he cried and cried until he had no more tears to cry when he started losing his hair because of the therapies. he didn't get why he couldn't go to school and learn science and history and arts when kyungsoo and jongdae could.
baekhyun didn't understand all these until he overheard his mother praying beside his hospital bed when she thought he was already asleep. his mother prayed, in silent tears, for her boy to recover, for her boy to get out of the confined space of the hospital and never come back again. it took all of baekhyun's willpower not to open his eyes and hug his mother when she quietly asked if she could trade her life for her little boy. since then, baekhyun didn't whine anymore.
time went by like the gentle spring breeze, lulling him into oblivion. baekhyun wished he could control the time. before he knew it, he was already 20; an adult. he didn't know how much longer he could live. he didn't know whether he was able to get a job like his neighbor, minseok, or whether he could further his studies in the university like his childhood friend, chanyeol.
sometimes, baekhyun would visit the children's ward because that was the first place that he recognized as his home. due to his condition, he was often hospitalized as a child and he spent most of his life there before he was transferred to the normal ward. that was when he first met dr. wu yifan, his new physician. his new hope. his new life.
his first love, perhaps.
baekhyun loved being in the children's ward. the kids were fond of him and he often played with them. they never gave him weird looks when he took off his beanie. he let the kids touch his hairless head and he smiled when they giggled because "baekhyun-hyung's head looks like a white pearl. baekhyun-hyung is pretty like a pearl!"
sometimes, baekhyun would see yifan in the children's ward too. at first, he thought it was weird because yifan was an oncologist, not a children's specialist. he hid behind the door, watching as yifan let the kids scramble all over him and make him carry them on his shoulders. baekhyun was jealous at first; yifan stole the children's hearts without even having to try.
baekhyun refused to talk to yifan because of that.
"i visited the children's ward yesterday."
baekhyun pretended not to listen as he concentrated on yifan's touches on his back. he trembled a little when the cold chestpiece of yifan's stethoscope greeted his skin. baekhyun wondered if yifan had noticed the little bumps rising on his skin whenever they touched. yifan was silent for a moment and he smoothed baekhyun's shirt down his back when he was done. baekhyun blushed when yifan's palm lingered a moment longer on his spine and he felt a little disappointed when the warmth of yifan's large hand quickly lifted off.
"the kids like you a lot," yifan said again and baekhyun turned to give him a questioning look. yifan smiled. "they were asking if i took great care of their baekhyun-hyung and a girl said she would never forgive me if i make you upset."
baekhyun's lips immediately quirked up and he felt so loved, so blessed to have the kids as his little friends. "that's so cool."
"i went there to look for you because the nurse said that's your territory," yifan chuckled and baekhyun's face flushed in embarrassment. he was about to apologize to yifan but his lips wouldn't move. not when yifan reached for his abandoned beanie on the table and put it on for him, smiling his signature stupid smile that baekhyun deemed unnecessary. needless to say, baekhyun's insides immediately turned into a pile of goo.
later that night, before starting his night shift, yifan found a mug of hot coffee on the table in his office. and the night after. and the night after. and he would thank baekhyun by secretly pressing his lips on the boy's cheek while he was asleep.
since then, baekhyun would often find yifan in the children's ward during his free time. since then, baekhyun had always been dreaming of yifan's charming gummy smile. since then, baekhyun could never look at yifan straight in the eyes without having his heart ricochet in his chest.
"doctor, did you notice the way i've been looking at you?"
baekhyun had lost count on how many times yifan had saved his life.
there was that time when he collapsed right after his therapy. it was one of the worsts, in fact. a terrible headache was gnawing at his head like greedy scavengers. the pain was so unbearable that tears trickled down his face. the pain would not ease no matter how hard he clutched at his head, no matter how hard he kicked his feet. at that time, baekhyun was hoping -- no, praying -- that he'd just die instead of suffering like this.
and then he heard yifan's voice calling his name over and over again and he felt yifan's warm hands cupping his face. baekhyun's harsh thrashes came to a stop as unconsciousness enveloped him like a dreadful, huge blanket of darkness.
when he woke up, he was alone. he heard muffled voices from the other side of the curtain and he strained his ears to listen.
"dr. wu, i respect your decision but your research on the cure is taking too long and we can see its toll on baekhyun's health. he's getting worse!"
"please, just give me more time," yifan's pleading voice entered baekhyun's ears. "i'm doing my best to find a cure for baekhyun's illness. i'm sorry but i can't let you give him the medication that you proposed. it's too strong and i'm afraid his body won't be able to take it."
"we're experts in this field, doctor," another voice said. "we know what we're doing. however, this is the last chance. if you're still unable to find the solution to this problem, we'll take baekhyun away and give him our medication."
there was silence and baekhyun held his breath.
"that's very generous of you," yifan replied quietly. "thank you very much, professors."
baekhyun clutched at his blanket when he heard yifan thanking his guests as he showed them the way out. when he thought that they were gone, he curled up in his blanket and cried. he didn't budge when the curtain was harshly pulled. he didn't expect to find yifan kneeling beside the bed and pulled him into a warm embrace. he didn't -- had never -- thought that yifan would cradle him in his arms and kiss his tears away.
"i will cure you, baekhyun," yifan whispered, his thumb caressing baekhyun's tiny hand that fisted on his white coat. "i will cure you so that i don't have to be your doctor and you don't have to be my patient. we'll just be wu yifan and byun baekhyun. i want to make that wish come true."
baekhyun blinked and looked at yifan in such a way that threatened to shatter the other's soul. "yifan-hyung, do you know how much longer i will live?"
yifan was startled at the sudden question. his lips quivered; all the feelings that he bottled up was on the brim, about to spill, and he was this close to breaking down after hearing that simple, innocent question. nevertheless, he smiled and grasped baekhyun's thin wrist, bringing the boy's hand to his chest. baekhyun's cheeks colored a little as yifan gently brushed his knuckles and baekhyun could feel the faint murmurs of yifan's heart on his palm. lub-dub, lub-dub.
"forever," yifan said. "you'll live forever, here."
"doctor, do you remember that time when those old men came and wanted to take me away? i felt a little angry but you sounded so sad. i was ashamed of myself for wanting to die when you're trying so hard to find a cure for me. thank you so much."
"baekhyunnie," a gentle voice called and baekhyun fumbled with the paper in his hand, trying to cover it with his hands. when he looked up, he saw one of the nurses that was in charge of taking care of him. he exhaled in relief.
"geez, noona, you scared me," baekhyun muttered.
"you look so concentrated," taeyeon laughed. "what are you writing? a diary?"
baekhyun huffed. "i'm not telling."
taeyeon feigned a shocked expression as she ran some checkups on baekhyun. "how could you? noona is hurt, baekhyunnie."
baekhyun just grinned widely and taeyeon smiled back, continuing her work.
"noona, would you please do me a favor?"
"oh? what is it?"
baekhyun bit on his lower lip and contemplated his thoughts. he knew taeyeon would scold him if he said this but she was the only one that he could trust.
"baekhyun?"
"noona, when i'm gone," baekhyun started and he already saw taeyeon's face drop but she waited patiently for him to continue. "will you please help me to give something to dr. wu?"
"baekhyun-ah, i don't like it when you talk like this," taeyeon let out a soft sigh. "but may i know what are you going to give to him?"
"a love letter."
"doctor, i like you. a lot."
a few months later and baekhyun was gone.
yifan patted the ground where baekhyun was buried and pulled at some weed that began to sprout. he clutched at baekhyun's letter. baekhyun's neat handwriting greeted him yet again as he read it for the umpteenth time. he still remembered the night when baekhyun passed away; he had the gentlest smile on his face and his eyes could never get livelier than they ever were when he looked at yifan for the last time.
yifan wanted to punish himself for failing. he had never felt more devastated and crushed when baekhyun heaved his last breath, looking like a beautiful angel. as he closed his eyes, yifan knew he would never see the light in baekhyun's eyes again. his face looked so calm and one could have thought that he was sleeping if they didn't know any better. yifan's frustrated scream resonated through the hallway and it was baekhyun's father who had squeezed his shoulder in comfort when the man himself was trying hard to conceal his tears.
baekhyun's final words gave him the strength to carry on. he promised himself that he would continue to find the cure. for baekhyun, and for himself.
"doctor, i will live forever, right?"
fin.
- to the anon op, i sincerely apologize because i don't think i interpret the prompt well. D: i had a slight hunch that you might want fluff but i just got carried away while writing and before i know it, i have 2k of angst here. there's still some fluff, if you squint hurhur ;;3;; you can virtually smack me eeepp.
- wish me luck for my finals~ which is tomorrow ahahah