SPN [ENG, gen, worksafe, 310 words]
Spoilers for s5e16 and s5e20. Actually, it’s kind of a coda for both episodes. Angst, brooding.
310 words; gen, worksafe, Sam and Dean talk.
~~
„Sam?”
A tilt of the head, to show he is being listened.
“Tell me about Jess.” This conversation is long overdue, some five years; but Brady, the demon just crumpled to the ground and Sam is just sitting in the car, still. Frighteningly still, frozen like a statue. It’s not like Dean can’t understand vengeance but he always hoped his little brother was better than that.
Sam’s expression changes rapidly and Dean can actually see the flippant, angry, sarcastic replies that are swallowed back. Then a small nod and Sam stares out at the window. “She was… beautiful. Funny. Love of my life, I guess.” The words are quiet but it’s impossible to miss the grief, longing and love.
Dean taps the wheel before he starts the car. He has to drive some hundreds of miles tonight and that should be enough time for Sam to properly grieve. “Did you wanna marry her?”
A sharp breath, “Yes.” Sam covers his face for a moment, gathering his thoughts and emotions before continuing. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Never wanted to introduce her to dad; wanted to keep her safe. Two point five kids, white picket fence. Wanted those things with her.”
Dean nods. He kind of expected that casual stab at their dad; after watching Sam’s Heaven and not finding a trace of the old man. (Or himself. It hurts, but Sam hurt him since day one. It’s not something to dwell on if Dean wants to keep Sam alive.) However, there is a thought that won’t quite leave him. “Were you happy?”
“Yes,” the reply is heartfelt, maybe a little angry at being questioned.
And Dean looks at his brother, looks him in the eye because hurting Sammy was never a favourite pastime of his even when necessary.“Then why wasn’t she in your Heaven?”
~end~
310 words; gen, worksafe, Sam and Dean talk.
~~
„Sam?”
A tilt of the head, to show he is being listened.
“Tell me about Jess.” This conversation is long overdue, some five years; but Brady, the demon just crumpled to the ground and Sam is just sitting in the car, still. Frighteningly still, frozen like a statue. It’s not like Dean can’t understand vengeance but he always hoped his little brother was better than that.
Sam’s expression changes rapidly and Dean can actually see the flippant, angry, sarcastic replies that are swallowed back. Then a small nod and Sam stares out at the window. “She was… beautiful. Funny. Love of my life, I guess.” The words are quiet but it’s impossible to miss the grief, longing and love.
Dean taps the wheel before he starts the car. He has to drive some hundreds of miles tonight and that should be enough time for Sam to properly grieve. “Did you wanna marry her?”
A sharp breath, “Yes.” Sam covers his face for a moment, gathering his thoughts and emotions before continuing. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Never wanted to introduce her to dad; wanted to keep her safe. Two point five kids, white picket fence. Wanted those things with her.”
Dean nods. He kind of expected that casual stab at their dad; after watching Sam’s Heaven and not finding a trace of the old man. (Or himself. It hurts, but Sam hurt him since day one. It’s not something to dwell on if Dean wants to keep Sam alive.) However, there is a thought that won’t quite leave him. “Were you happy?”
“Yes,” the reply is heartfelt, maybe a little angry at being questioned.
And Dean looks at his brother, looks him in the eye because hurting Sammy was never a favourite pastime of his even when necessary.“Then why wasn’t she in your Heaven?”
~end~