DAMNIT!

[kira_dark_wing]

I am in a HORRIBLE mood, so if you are sensitive to moodiness, complaints and aching, bleeding hearts you should just skip this entry


I still love Him. I love Him with all the little broken pieces of my heart.

The ironic thing is I was the one to break up with Him. I tore my own fucking heart to pieces.
We are friends, with benefits when He's drunk. I rarely drink, and when He gives me His drunken kisses I don't push Him away. Does that make me a bad person?

I love Him and hate Him at the same time. I love Him for being who He is, and I hate Him for the same reason.
I cannot get Him out of my mind, get Him out of the bleeding pieces of my heart. I want Him gone, but at the same time I cling to these feelings, these memories of better times. Times where He was mine, times when we loved each other, times when my memories of Him didn't bring tears to my eyes. does that make me a sad person?

I cannot forget Him. Cannot forget what He means to me. And damnation if I don't still love Him.
I cannot be what He deserves. Cannot be that perfect girl He deserves. But I still love Him.

I'm sorry!