My Top 10 Pet Peeves
1. People who slurp or gulp really loudly. I just want to slap the shit out of people when they do that. That's amazing that you are enjoying your drink, but leave my ears out of it. And also chew with your damn mouth closed.
2. Janet Jackson. You are not 20 years old, quit trying to desperately cling to your youth and pretend you are hott. You are not. Accept your age. And while I'm on the subject of "singers", I hate you Britney Spears. You are a psychopath who is past her prime. Enjoy your downward spiral of drugs and see you on Behind the Music. And put your kids up for adoption so they could have normal healthy lives.
3. "Lawl". What the hell is "lawl"? Is the word "lawn" not used enough that we have to promote those three letters? Isn't that "law"'s job? What about "claw"? I think we were fine well before "lawl" came around. "Lawl" is a dumb word.
4. George Bush jokes. TELL ME THAT ZINGER AGAIN ABOUT GEORGE BUSH'S INTELLIGENCE, IT WAS SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL IN THE 3000 OTHER VARIATIONS OF THE SAME INSULT. I'm not a card carrying Republican, nor am I even close to being a Democrat, I just have a sense of humor. That said, hearing the same jabs over and over just make me /eyeroll, because it's not funny. But thanks to the new trend of every Green Day fan suddenly becoming political scholars, it's probably not going to end anytime soon.
5. Macs vs. PCs. Yes, I get it. Apple makes trendy products. Am I going to trash my PC just because Justin Long tried to appeal to my demographic in those commercials? Pfft, no. I like being able to run 99%(*) of the programs out there without any issues. Sure, I'll get a Mac when I have $2000+ to flush down the toilet so I can have some nice video editing software, but that is certainly not anytime soon.
*figure based on absolutely nothing
6. Dubs vs Subs. You are an idiot if you purist (i.e. "I ONLY WATCH SUBS/DUBS!") in either case. Go drink everything you find under the sink, because hell, there's not much brain left for you to lose. You understand that those "goofy" voices you hear in dubs are also in the original Japanese versions, right? Just because it's from Japan does not mean it's exempt from weird voice acting. Spend some time actually listening to the character voices instead of trying to learn Japanese from subs and you'd notice. Dunno what to say about people who are dub-only. You guys are just weird and should probably go outside more go outside more, but stay away from people because you're probably scary in real life.
7. People who do things in the name of children, like the whole Warriors of Innocence bullshit from last month (I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU REMEMBER THAT; HOPE NONE OF YOU GOT ZOMG BANNED). How about instead of throwing a hissy fit everytime you come across a website you don't like in your daily expeditions on the internet, you actually spend time with your kids. The best way to keep you children from seeing things you think they shouldn't is to monitor your child's activities, not by trying to destroy everything in the world that you think is wrong, in the name of your child no less. TALK TO YOUR KIDS, PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS, LOVE YOUR KIDS. Unless there's someone having sex with a dead horse on your front lawn, leave it alone because whatever they see, it's probably gonna be something they're going to see sooner or later, and hopefully you'll explain it to them. Although that example may apply to that too. Also don't lie and say "babies come from kissing", because that's the only "talk" I ever got and that managed to do a good job of scaring/confusing me for a while.
8. This one is touchy. Before I say anything, I'm going to clarify that I do not hate gay people, nor am I going to cite some obscure gay friend I have to prove my non-homophobia. But gay pride parades? That's fantastic that you're gay, but it doesn't make you special. You're just a normal person like me. Why don't we have "bi-curious" parades while we're at it? Or just "celibate" parades. Personally I'm holding out for the "I have dark brown hair but people think I have black hair" parade. That'll show everyone that I exist.
9. Every douchebag who looks like this. Surely the only way to be non-conformist is to conform to the fashions of your peers who themselves are influenced by another. That's how you stick it to everyone.
10. The 9/11 Conspiracy. For this, I must thank some pot-head college student who made a shitty documentary which pointed the finger to the U.S. Government. With all the Michael Moore-esque fudging of the facts and too-technical hypothesis, he managed to convince a lot of gullible people. I won't deny that part of me considered what he had to say, since he does make it sound like he has a very convincing argument, but ultimately common sense sank in. Plus it was like 3AM and my judgment wasn't the best. It's an insult to everyone who died that day (and a second slap in the face to the hijackers; the first one being that they probably didn't get those 40 virgins for killing all those innocent people), and also to people who risk their lives every day so we can avoid having another attack. BUT ZOMG ITS AN INSULT TO THEM ANYWAY FOR FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING THE GOVERNMENT PLANNED. Shut up.
2. Janet Jackson. You are not 20 years old, quit trying to desperately cling to your youth and pretend you are hott. You are not. Accept your age. And while I'm on the subject of "singers", I hate you Britney Spears. You are a psychopath who is past her prime. Enjoy your downward spiral of drugs and see you on Behind the Music. And put your kids up for adoption so they could have normal healthy lives.
3. "Lawl". What the hell is "lawl"? Is the word "lawn" not used enough that we have to promote those three letters? Isn't that "law"'s job? What about "claw"? I think we were fine well before "lawl" came around. "Lawl" is a dumb word.
4. George Bush jokes. TELL ME THAT ZINGER AGAIN ABOUT GEORGE BUSH'S INTELLIGENCE, IT WAS SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL IN THE 3000 OTHER VARIATIONS OF THE SAME INSULT. I'm not a card carrying Republican, nor am I even close to being a Democrat, I just have a sense of humor. That said, hearing the same jabs over and over just make me /eyeroll, because it's not funny. But thanks to the new trend of every Green Day fan suddenly becoming political scholars, it's probably not going to end anytime soon.
5. Macs vs. PCs. Yes, I get it. Apple makes trendy products. Am I going to trash my PC just because Justin Long tried to appeal to my demographic in those commercials? Pfft, no. I like being able to run 99%(*) of the programs out there without any issues. Sure, I'll get a Mac when I have $2000+ to flush down the toilet so I can have some nice video editing software, but that is certainly not anytime soon.
*figure based on absolutely nothing
6. Dubs vs Subs. You are an idiot if you purist (i.e. "I ONLY WATCH SUBS/DUBS!") in either case. Go drink everything you find under the sink, because hell, there's not much brain left for you to lose. You understand that those "goofy" voices you hear in dubs are also in the original Japanese versions, right? Just because it's from Japan does not mean it's exempt from weird voice acting. Spend some time actually listening to the character voices instead of trying to learn Japanese from subs and you'd notice. Dunno what to say about people who are dub-only. You guys are just weird and should probably go outside more go outside more, but stay away from people because you're probably scary in real life.
7. People who do things in the name of children, like the whole Warriors of Innocence bullshit from last month (I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU REMEMBER THAT; HOPE NONE OF YOU GOT ZOMG BANNED). How about instead of throwing a hissy fit everytime you come across a website you don't like in your daily expeditions on the internet, you actually spend time with your kids. The best way to keep you children from seeing things you think they shouldn't is to monitor your child's activities, not by trying to destroy everything in the world that you think is wrong, in the name of your child no less. TALK TO YOUR KIDS, PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS, LOVE YOUR KIDS. Unless there's someone having sex with a dead horse on your front lawn, leave it alone because whatever they see, it's probably gonna be something they're going to see sooner or later, and hopefully you'll explain it to them. Although that example may apply to that too. Also don't lie and say "babies come from kissing", because that's the only "talk" I ever got and that managed to do a good job of scaring/confusing me for a while.
8. This one is touchy. Before I say anything, I'm going to clarify that I do not hate gay people, nor am I going to cite some obscure gay friend I have to prove my non-homophobia. But gay pride parades? That's fantastic that you're gay, but it doesn't make you special. You're just a normal person like me. Why don't we have "bi-curious" parades while we're at it? Or just "celibate" parades. Personally I'm holding out for the "I have dark brown hair but people think I have black hair" parade. That'll show everyone that I exist.
9. Every douchebag who looks like this. Surely the only way to be non-conformist is to conform to the fashions of your peers who themselves are influenced by another. That's how you stick it to everyone.
10. The 9/11 Conspiracy. For this, I must thank some pot-head college student who made a shitty documentary which pointed the finger to the U.S. Government. With all the Michael Moore-esque fudging of the facts and too-technical hypothesis, he managed to convince a lot of gullible people. I won't deny that part of me considered what he had to say, since he does make it sound like he has a very convincing argument, but ultimately common sense sank in. Plus it was like 3AM and my judgment wasn't the best. It's an insult to everyone who died that day (and a second slap in the face to the hijackers; the first one being that they probably didn't get those 40 virgins for killing all those innocent people), and also to people who risk their lives every day so we can avoid having another attack. BUT ZOMG ITS AN INSULT TO THEM ANYWAY FOR FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING THE GOVERNMENT PLANNED. Shut up.