Tawdry and So Over the Top
The First Annual PHE Christmas Party: One Tawdry Christmas
- Tawdry (yet very cute) Christmas cards created by Dominique Doyle and Michelle Putnam.
- Hideous Christmas decorations: purple tree, sporadic blinking lights, Christmas flag with the lobster on it (“Heaux Heaux Heaux!”), Black Santa, Broken Rudolph, Mistle-tree.
- Farish, Cassidy, Jacquiethia, Bruce: Four tacky hos with way too much eye makeup. LOL.
- Kris: nerdy uncle with a sweater and caroling tie. LOL.
- Chase: T-shirt that said “This Is My Holiday Sweater.” Sexually frustrated uncle. LOL.
- Andrea: Martini glass, which she didn’t put down all evening, even while opening her gifts. LOL.
- Camethia, Daisha, Shantavia: Tacky sweatshirts, tacky socks, tacky reindeer antlers. LOL.
- Tammy: Red plaid pants with red and green Mardi Gras beads (which would eventually choke her before the night was over - Andrea and Michelle saving her). LOL.
- Dominique: Red and green velvet tree skirt worn as a cloak. Cousin Claudine (“Yes dahling!”). LOL.
- Michelle: Red and green sequined vest with Capri pants and Christmas socks. In the words of Cassidy “You look like you work at the mall!”.
- Chase: Sexually molesting all women at the party.
- Tammy: Almost burning down Michelle’s kitchen while merely trying to heat up some food in the oven.
- Everyone: Waving napkins and opening doors trying to get rid of the smoke before the smoke alarm was triggered.
- Gift Giving: Ungrateful whores.
- Michelle: Attempting to steal an extra happy-face gift.
- Cassidy: Thwarting Michelle’s attempts to steal the gift.
- Michelle and Dominique: Wrestling over a gift.
- Michelle: “Okay, I don’t want it, but you all probably do.”
Michelle: Holds up Kirk Franklin CD.
Everyone: Looks over at Kris. - Andrea: Giving the shit-face after opening her gift. “Um, thank you.”
- Chase: I already have a bag like this. Who wants this scarf?
- Bruce: “I’m not showing you all my gift, you’ll want it!”
Everyone: “Bruce, just let us see!”
Bruce: Holds up Def Poetry Jam DVD.
Everyone: “No one wants that shit.”
Bruce: Broken face. - Slide Show: Loved everyone’s reactions.
- Tammy: White stain on shirt. Hilarity and photo ops ensue.
- Bruce’s laptop: Watching the DANCE.
- Cassidy’s brownies: Michelle trying steal them.
All in all, I felt great about the night. I felt great about the PHE family. We’re all so different, yet we work so well together. Maybe it’s because we’re all very strange and mean.