Small World
Senri's here. At TeniU, living down the hall and woring at Catering Services alongside of me. Never expected that. Freaking small world.
Gakuto: You okay? Look, I--um--told Senri we'd feed him occasionally. He always forgets to eat. If you don't like it, I can just make him up a care package. He says he's changed. I don't know...part of me wants to ( Read more... )
Gakuto: You okay? Look, I--um--told Senri we'd feed him occasionally. He always forgets to eat. If you don't like it, I can just make him up a care package. He says he's changed. I don't know...part of me wants to ( Read more... )
14. I'm all innocence!
15. Not until they grow ear hair, they don't.
Private to Shinji
I'm sorry, too. I snapped back just as fast. Do you really feel like I'm blocking you out or don't want you around? That's not the case. Of course I pay attention to Gakuto. If Atsushi roomed in our suite, I'd bet you'd be the same way without even realizing it. But you have to speak up. You know I don't pick up on this stuff. I'd rather you said something right away instead of letting it build up inside you.
And in all fairness, Shinji, you've gone back to your old pushing away trick. Don't think I haven't noticed. I'm trying to give you the space you need, but it's hard to know when to push and when not to. I know you're still worried about your father and Atsushi and everything else going on. Talk to me. You are not in the way. You have never been in the way. I love you. You know that. Or you should.
Life was easier when you talked to yourself. At least I had an idea what you were thinking. You gotta help someone like me out with this stuff, okay?
It's incredibly important. Two people I love also love each other. I know you're there for him when I can't be and he's there for you when I can't be there when you need me. It eases the load. Does that make sense?
No hard feelings?
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14. ...right. Sure you are. Remember what happened *ast* time I believed that?
15. What's that I see in your ear there, Grandpa?
Private to Kippei
Sometimes...I wonder, Kippei. I don't always feel welcome in my own room anymore, like I'm an intrusion, and...it's not your fault. I know why that is. I understand. And I understand your point, too. I just...I wish 'Sushi and I could move out sooner rather than later sometimes, because it sucks to feel like you don't belong anyplace.
Kippei, I don't *like* saying things. Even when I mumbled constantly, it was never that I *wanted* to say things. And I was still able to keep secrets. Big ones.
I'm trying to give you space, too. Maybe that's our problem. We're so busy trying to give to each other that we forget that we can take, too. I love you too, Kippei. So much. I know you love me. I just...I'm going to get smacked...but I don't want to add more to your plate. I tell myself that I push you away because I love you, and I forget that...that's not how love works. I should be holding you closer. I want to. I just...it's very frustrating, to not have the right words!
I do love Gakuto. That was one of the scariest things I ever admitted, both to myself and to him. It makes sense, Kippei. It really does. Gakuto and I...even if you and he hadn't found each other, I think the friendship, the love, would've happened anyway. We have holes that we can fill in each other that you and Atsushi can't. Just like you fill things in me that 'Sushi, Gakito, and Akira can't. And Gakuto is a great coversationalist, too. A great person to talk about dreams with.
Kippei...when have I *ever* held anything against you? Can you forgive me?
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14. I am all innocence!
15. Whippersnapper!
Private to Shinji
I'm the intrusion into your personal space, like a guest who's overstayed his welcome. Just kick me out. You need time to yourself and time with just Gakuto the same as I. It won't kill either of us. Maybe I'll leave him one of my shirts and I'll steal his pillow case.
...Moving out? What?
I've leaned on you so much, and you take so much on, Shinji. I feel the same way you do. And I know I do the same thing when I'm troubled. You know, if two people lean on each other, they form a triangle, which is far stronger than a single beam. Maybe we should give it a try.
When have I ever not forgiven you? (Not that there's anything to forgive.)
I'm going to tell you something even Gakuto doesn't know. I've been attending Al-anon meetings for about two and a half years now. I know not to get my hopes up or to fall for any of his typical BS. And, maybe, just maybe, I understand a little more about why I always did before. Don't worry about me.
#13. I am definitely lashing the beds together, and then Gakuto and I are going to make a Shinji sandwich and do some serious cuddling. Got that?
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14. I'll believe it when I see it.
15. You're just jealous that I'm still limber, flexible...and not going gray.
Private to Kippei
I don't want to kick you out, Kippei. You...belong there. You do.
*sighs* I should've said nothing. Atsushi and I would like to move in together at some point in the future...near future would be nice. How badly are you about to freak, and do I need to lock up the wood chipper?
*laughs* Fine. We'll make a triangle, Kippei.
You have been? Kippei...wow. I'm glad that you have been going, Kippei, I really am. And I will still worry about you. I always will.
.....*blushes* Kippei. I...am not going to be allowed to argue, am I?
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14. XD
15. I'm all of those things, too, Junior!
Private to Shinji
Remember those Warner Bros. chipmunks? That's us. "No, after you!" "No, you stay. I insist!" "No, you stay!" You are welcome in your own room, for heaven's sake. If you feel uncomfortable, just let me know. I don't want to chase you out. So say something! Please?
No wood chipper. Atsushi is good for you. I haven't talked to Gakuto about it, but I'd like to do the same thing. I guess Atobe is seeing Hiyoshi now, but it still feels awkward. I want to be able to be who we are and not worry about his feelings or wonder if it's okay to flirt or touch when I feel like it. At least my love is here. You have to travel across Osaka to get to yours. I...understand. I am just going to miss you so very much.
Yeah, I have. I go into "work" an hour early on Thursdays to make the meeting. You can worry about me if you let me worry about you. Deal?
Nope! No arguements. We'll be one big puppy pile.
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It hurts, being far from him Kippei. It hurts even more, sometimes, because I get reminded just by walking in my door and seeing you and Gakuto wrapped around each other. You two are pretty much assured that you will see each other. 'Sushi and I...we have to fight for it sometimes. We want to be with each other. And...I'd still be in Osaka, Kippei. As it is, you'll probably leave me first. Atsushi and I have to do a lot of saving before we can leave. It'll be easier for you and Gakuto. You won't miss me once you've left. You'll hardly notice, I bet. Except to revel in the peave and quiet.
I'd rather you not worry about me, but I can't stop you. *smiles*
All piled together...you really haven't talked much about dreams to Gakuto, have you?
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