SCRUBS FIC: His Finale [Cox/JD, PG-13] 1/1
Title: His Finale
Author: Kipli
Email: kipli@livejournal.com
Fandom: Scrubs
Pairing: Cox/JD
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2,100
Summary: Set after the events of 'My Finale', Perry Cox changes his course in life.
Disclaimer: Not my 'verse, I just play with them.
Beta: :-* to vanillabuzz and mareel
Notes: What really happened after the end of 'My Finale'. *grumbles* Quick and dirty (though not that dirty). I had to fix that damn ending. Obviously SPOILERS for the FINAL EPISODE OF SCRUBS.
***
His Finale
***
You ever end up so far down a road that you aren't really sure how you ever got there?
The exit you were supposed to take was seventy miles back. The alternate route was about thirty miles back.
You could turn around. You could admit you're headed in the wrong direction. You could screech everything to a grinding, rusty halt.
But hell if you aren't nearly maybe some place better. Maybe wherever you're going, maybe you're supposed to go there. Maybe it's nicer, calmer, safer. Maybe it's normal.
And even though you're listening to Springsteen and The Who while you barrel on down that road, you're not really a rebel. You might piss and moan and do a few acts of defiance to boost the ego. But deep down you like things steady. You want your morning cup of joe, you want your soggy cafeteria sandwich, you want your late night dramas predictable. And going on down that road was predictable. You knew where it would lead. Even with Jordan in the seat beside you, you knew where you stood with her. After all these years, there weren't too many new surprises she could pull on you. And she was comfortable too. She didn't want to rock the boat any more than you do.
I can't blame her, though. I chose this fate. A number of times over. I ignore the road signs pointing elsewhere and I just kept on going until any way out had evaporated. And so I just keep barreling down the highway. Away from it. Pretending not to see it. Pretending I don't care. Not even enough to be his friend.
We were becoming friends. We were. Back by that alternate route thirty miles behind myself. Three years ago. But I closed it all down. I only gave him enough glimmers of hope to keep him from hating me. But that was about it.
I don't know why I cut him off.
Maybe I was afraid. No, yeah, I was afraid. But for the first time, I was afraid for only myself. He had a kid coming. A kid. And even if he eventually didn't stay with Kim, even if I had headed on down that road, took the off ramp and set Jordan on the curb, even if I opened up more to him, he had a kid. He'd probably say no. The great Perry Cox afraid of a little rejection. But hell, even if he didn't say no, I was going to make sure he would. He should say no. He should stay with his son. I should stay with mine, with my daughter. It would be messy.
So yeah. I do know why I kept going. I cut him off before he could clearly hurt me. Things were too heavy. I had to stop any chance of an off ramp. I had to shut down.
Things were different. But they were bearable. Predictable.
I knew Sam would pull us apart some how.
There was no way I was speaking my mind now. He was going. Life dealt me another blow. I could take it. I could handle it. He was gonna go off and marry Elliot and they'll have their own children and visit from time to time. That's how life goes. People come and people go. You get married, have children, grow old, die. That's what was down my road. Both our roads. Only mine is going west and his is going north. Still we'll end up at the same destination. Separately.
I had managed to dodge all his moments together. I had manged to keep my mouth shut and my heart closed. He would be gone tomorrow and then I could walk easier around here. Oddly. I looked forward to tomorrow. Life would be normal again.
And then he tricked me.
I let my guard down. I thought he was gone. And he tricked me into spilling at least my true thoughts about who he is--how amazing I've always thought he was as a doctor, as a person. It was nearly the same speech I gave the board his first year here. He's still that amazing. A beacon. A light that draws everyone in. Or at least me.
Jordan would hear of this. She would punish me. For ever thinking of rocking the damn boat. She wanted a steady ride.
But as I turned around and was tackled by him, the final nail in my chest was his sigh at my fatherly scent. I never once wanted to be his father figure. I wanted to be something utterly different than that...
I'm really going to live without his puppydog eyes on me?
I hid my shame and embarrassment and anger by lashing out at Sunny. I ran her around the hospital. Just as I'd run Boon around last year. For an hour she was mine. But just like Boon, it wasn't the same. It's never the same. She shrugged it all off with a sigh or a smile. She never once looked up at me with this glance that spoke of a wish to just curl up against me. Which, to anyone else, should have been a good thing. But with John Dorian...
I wonder how loud the wheels will screech when I hit the handbreak.
He was just pulling out of the hospital lot when I raced outside. I did the only thing I could think of to stop him. I stepped in front of his car.
I could see his eyes go wide before he hit the breaks hard, stopping at my feet just nearly outside of the lot.
"How dare you!" I shout into the car at him. Okay so maybe I was still a little hurt.
He shouts back at me but I can't hear it through the windshield of his hybrid. He shoves the car into park, leaving it quietly running, the lights still on, casting sharp shadows to either side of me.
He comes out and I shout again, this time accompanied with a point of my finger, "How dare you. How dare you trick me like that."
JD huffs at me as he comes up and around to the front of his car. "How dare I?! You weren't gonna say it. Ever!"
"You don't know that," I snap back at him.
"Oh yeah? So when were you planning this heart to heart? Huh?"
He's gotten defiant with my neglect of him. But I can't blame him. My heart sinks and I glance down. I can't lie to him. And he knows me well enough. Too well.
"That's what I thought," he says in disgust at my glance down. "So yeah. I tricked you. I wanted to hear it. I needed to hear it."
Needed? My anger cools just a little more. I glance up at him. "I don't like being manipulated."
"Yeah, well, there weren't a lot of options left in the last minutes of my time here." He heaves just an adorably small sigh and folds his arms across his chest. "And since I'm sure the book I gave you is now sitting in the third floor bathroom as toilet paper--"
I interrupt him with a shake of my head and a step towards him. "It's on my desk. Where it will stay."
He doesn't even seem to notice. He looks down. "Whatever. Just... move so I can go. Like you've always wanted." He shoots me a little glare before he turns to go. "Elliot's waiting for me."
Now there was a comment meant to sting me. I let it roll off my back. I order him firmly, "Don't go."
He actually snorts a little chuckle at me. "A little late for that now, isn't it?" He keeps moving, stepping forward and out of the harsh lights of the car.
My heart pounds and I step off after him.
Jerk the wheel. Change directions. Turn around.
"It's never too late," I call after him. I round the end of the car and reach for his arm. He tries to jerk it free but I reach again to stop him, turning him around to face me. "I'm sorry," I tell him honestly, openly. My heart exposed to him. Finally.
He stares up in surprise at me. "Sorry?"
"That it took me eight years to do this." I lean in quick and kiss him.
Can you do a tumbling u-turn on the road of life?
The kiss lasts but a moment before JD gives a little whimpering noise and jerks his head back.
His eyes are wide. Glinting in the light of the headlights behind me. His jaw drops open, gaping at me. His mouth works a long moment before any audible sound comes out. "I hate you," he finally gasps to me. Before he throws his arms around my neck and kisses me.
I can taste peppermint on his lips. I slide my arms around him as he gives another quiet whimper, desperately trying to hook a leg up around my thigh. God he's such a fucking girl. I suckle on his lower lip before gliding my tongue between his lips to taste him fully. And he gives a deep moan paired with a tremble. Okay no that moan was definitely male... Interestingly, appealingly, seductively male. I turn and pin his back against the side of the small car. He gives a little yelp into the kiss and literally hops up so he can wrap his legs around my waist.
I should have taken his exit the first day I saw him. Just for the feel of him pressed up against me. The smell of his peach and citrus shampoo. His fingers dare to slide up into my curls as the kiss goes on and on. He suckles on my tongue like one of his hard candies. I swear there's never before been a second kiss or any kiss like this one. There's a reason why I held myself back from him. And this is precisely it.
We finally break the kiss panting. He literally giggles in my arms as he opens his eyes. "I still hate you."
I give a low growl and nip at his lips. "Your beard tickles, Johnny," I simply tease him, ignoring the comment.
He beams at me. Either from the tease or the use of his name or both.
How did I ever get so far down that road towards nowhere?
We're quiet a long moment. Our breaths mingling as we stay wrapped up in one another. I meet his gaze in the dim light. We just stare. And staring is something I hate. People see too much. But right now, I want him to see it all.
"Stay."
His rapt joy fades just a little as he comes back to earth. He takes in a deep breath, staring back at me. "I just..."
"Stay," I whisper again firmly. "Please."
He beams a little at my please before he focuses again. "Jordan?" It's a one word question with so many layers of meaning.
"Can keep the apartment if she wants."
He literally squeaks a little, bouncing just once against he car, sending it shaking a little from side to side.
I pause a moment. Willing myself before finally managing to ask, "What about Sam?"
JD glances down to my chest. He moves a hand to play with the front of my labcoat. Then he looks up slowly, batting those beautiful eyelashes at me some, "I could... talk someone into giving me a weekend off a month to see him..."
I laugh. My first good laugh in quite some damn time. "You little tramp!"
He strikes a pose, turning his head to one side and tilting one shoulder up, pouting his lips. "You gotta work what you have."
I growl low at him and catch those pouting lips in another kiss.
This could work. This could survive.
We break again and I have to push once more. "Elliot?" I ask, using his one word question.
He shakes his head and beams at me, brushing a hand through my hair. "You."
My heart melts. I take a deep breath and meet his gaze. So honestly. So openly. The minutes tick by. I can hear cars speeding down the road just a few feet away. The noises of people coming and going from the hospital. Finally I whisper again, full of meaning, full of heart, "I'm sorry."
He slowly smiles. His face and his eyes lighting up. That adoring, perfect puppydog gaze of his. He leans forward and rests his head on my shoulder, nuzzling his face against my neck, as he snuggles up closer to my chest, if at all possible. "Apology accepted."
I smile down at him. Truly smile. For the first time in years. My heart full. Overflowing.
Who knew going down the right road could feel so fucking good?
END
***
x-posted to jd_cox scrubs_slash scrubsfic
Author: Kipli
Email: kipli@livejournal.com
Fandom: Scrubs
Pairing: Cox/JD
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2,100
Summary: Set after the events of 'My Finale', Perry Cox changes his course in life.
Disclaimer: Not my 'verse, I just play with them.
Beta: :-* to vanillabuzz and mareel
Notes: What really happened after the end of 'My Finale'. *grumbles* Quick and dirty (though not that dirty). I had to fix that damn ending. Obviously SPOILERS for the FINAL EPISODE OF SCRUBS.
***
His Finale
***
You ever end up so far down a road that you aren't really sure how you ever got there?
The exit you were supposed to take was seventy miles back. The alternate route was about thirty miles back.
You could turn around. You could admit you're headed in the wrong direction. You could screech everything to a grinding, rusty halt.
But hell if you aren't nearly maybe some place better. Maybe wherever you're going, maybe you're supposed to go there. Maybe it's nicer, calmer, safer. Maybe it's normal.
And even though you're listening to Springsteen and The Who while you barrel on down that road, you're not really a rebel. You might piss and moan and do a few acts of defiance to boost the ego. But deep down you like things steady. You want your morning cup of joe, you want your soggy cafeteria sandwich, you want your late night dramas predictable. And going on down that road was predictable. You knew where it would lead. Even with Jordan in the seat beside you, you knew where you stood with her. After all these years, there weren't too many new surprises she could pull on you. And she was comfortable too. She didn't want to rock the boat any more than you do.
I can't blame her, though. I chose this fate. A number of times over. I ignore the road signs pointing elsewhere and I just kept on going until any way out had evaporated. And so I just keep barreling down the highway. Away from it. Pretending not to see it. Pretending I don't care. Not even enough to be his friend.
We were becoming friends. We were. Back by that alternate route thirty miles behind myself. Three years ago. But I closed it all down. I only gave him enough glimmers of hope to keep him from hating me. But that was about it.
I don't know why I cut him off.
Maybe I was afraid. No, yeah, I was afraid. But for the first time, I was afraid for only myself. He had a kid coming. A kid. And even if he eventually didn't stay with Kim, even if I had headed on down that road, took the off ramp and set Jordan on the curb, even if I opened up more to him, he had a kid. He'd probably say no. The great Perry Cox afraid of a little rejection. But hell, even if he didn't say no, I was going to make sure he would. He should say no. He should stay with his son. I should stay with mine, with my daughter. It would be messy.
So yeah. I do know why I kept going. I cut him off before he could clearly hurt me. Things were too heavy. I had to stop any chance of an off ramp. I had to shut down.
Things were different. But they were bearable. Predictable.
I knew Sam would pull us apart some how.
There was no way I was speaking my mind now. He was going. Life dealt me another blow. I could take it. I could handle it. He was gonna go off and marry Elliot and they'll have their own children and visit from time to time. That's how life goes. People come and people go. You get married, have children, grow old, die. That's what was down my road. Both our roads. Only mine is going west and his is going north. Still we'll end up at the same destination. Separately.
I had managed to dodge all his moments together. I had manged to keep my mouth shut and my heart closed. He would be gone tomorrow and then I could walk easier around here. Oddly. I looked forward to tomorrow. Life would be normal again.
And then he tricked me.
I let my guard down. I thought he was gone. And he tricked me into spilling at least my true thoughts about who he is--how amazing I've always thought he was as a doctor, as a person. It was nearly the same speech I gave the board his first year here. He's still that amazing. A beacon. A light that draws everyone in. Or at least me.
Jordan would hear of this. She would punish me. For ever thinking of rocking the damn boat. She wanted a steady ride.
But as I turned around and was tackled by him, the final nail in my chest was his sigh at my fatherly scent. I never once wanted to be his father figure. I wanted to be something utterly different than that...
I'm really going to live without his puppydog eyes on me?
I hid my shame and embarrassment and anger by lashing out at Sunny. I ran her around the hospital. Just as I'd run Boon around last year. For an hour she was mine. But just like Boon, it wasn't the same. It's never the same. She shrugged it all off with a sigh or a smile. She never once looked up at me with this glance that spoke of a wish to just curl up against me. Which, to anyone else, should have been a good thing. But with John Dorian...
I wonder how loud the wheels will screech when I hit the handbreak.
He was just pulling out of the hospital lot when I raced outside. I did the only thing I could think of to stop him. I stepped in front of his car.
I could see his eyes go wide before he hit the breaks hard, stopping at my feet just nearly outside of the lot.
"How dare you!" I shout into the car at him. Okay so maybe I was still a little hurt.
He shouts back at me but I can't hear it through the windshield of his hybrid. He shoves the car into park, leaving it quietly running, the lights still on, casting sharp shadows to either side of me.
He comes out and I shout again, this time accompanied with a point of my finger, "How dare you. How dare you trick me like that."
JD huffs at me as he comes up and around to the front of his car. "How dare I?! You weren't gonna say it. Ever!"
"You don't know that," I snap back at him.
"Oh yeah? So when were you planning this heart to heart? Huh?"
He's gotten defiant with my neglect of him. But I can't blame him. My heart sinks and I glance down. I can't lie to him. And he knows me well enough. Too well.
"That's what I thought," he says in disgust at my glance down. "So yeah. I tricked you. I wanted to hear it. I needed to hear it."
Needed? My anger cools just a little more. I glance up at him. "I don't like being manipulated."
"Yeah, well, there weren't a lot of options left in the last minutes of my time here." He heaves just an adorably small sigh and folds his arms across his chest. "And since I'm sure the book I gave you is now sitting in the third floor bathroom as toilet paper--"
I interrupt him with a shake of my head and a step towards him. "It's on my desk. Where it will stay."
He doesn't even seem to notice. He looks down. "Whatever. Just... move so I can go. Like you've always wanted." He shoots me a little glare before he turns to go. "Elliot's waiting for me."
Now there was a comment meant to sting me. I let it roll off my back. I order him firmly, "Don't go."
He actually snorts a little chuckle at me. "A little late for that now, isn't it?" He keeps moving, stepping forward and out of the harsh lights of the car.
My heart pounds and I step off after him.
Jerk the wheel. Change directions. Turn around.
"It's never too late," I call after him. I round the end of the car and reach for his arm. He tries to jerk it free but I reach again to stop him, turning him around to face me. "I'm sorry," I tell him honestly, openly. My heart exposed to him. Finally.
He stares up in surprise at me. "Sorry?"
"That it took me eight years to do this." I lean in quick and kiss him.
Can you do a tumbling u-turn on the road of life?
The kiss lasts but a moment before JD gives a little whimpering noise and jerks his head back.
His eyes are wide. Glinting in the light of the headlights behind me. His jaw drops open, gaping at me. His mouth works a long moment before any audible sound comes out. "I hate you," he finally gasps to me. Before he throws his arms around my neck and kisses me.
I can taste peppermint on his lips. I slide my arms around him as he gives another quiet whimper, desperately trying to hook a leg up around my thigh. God he's such a fucking girl. I suckle on his lower lip before gliding my tongue between his lips to taste him fully. And he gives a deep moan paired with a tremble. Okay no that moan was definitely male... Interestingly, appealingly, seductively male. I turn and pin his back against the side of the small car. He gives a little yelp into the kiss and literally hops up so he can wrap his legs around my waist.
I should have taken his exit the first day I saw him. Just for the feel of him pressed up against me. The smell of his peach and citrus shampoo. His fingers dare to slide up into my curls as the kiss goes on and on. He suckles on my tongue like one of his hard candies. I swear there's never before been a second kiss or any kiss like this one. There's a reason why I held myself back from him. And this is precisely it.
We finally break the kiss panting. He literally giggles in my arms as he opens his eyes. "I still hate you."
I give a low growl and nip at his lips. "Your beard tickles, Johnny," I simply tease him, ignoring the comment.
He beams at me. Either from the tease or the use of his name or both.
How did I ever get so far down that road towards nowhere?
We're quiet a long moment. Our breaths mingling as we stay wrapped up in one another. I meet his gaze in the dim light. We just stare. And staring is something I hate. People see too much. But right now, I want him to see it all.
"Stay."
His rapt joy fades just a little as he comes back to earth. He takes in a deep breath, staring back at me. "I just..."
"Stay," I whisper again firmly. "Please."
He beams a little at my please before he focuses again. "Jordan?" It's a one word question with so many layers of meaning.
"Can keep the apartment if she wants."
He literally squeaks a little, bouncing just once against he car, sending it shaking a little from side to side.
I pause a moment. Willing myself before finally managing to ask, "What about Sam?"
JD glances down to my chest. He moves a hand to play with the front of my labcoat. Then he looks up slowly, batting those beautiful eyelashes at me some, "I could... talk someone into giving me a weekend off a month to see him..."
I laugh. My first good laugh in quite some damn time. "You little tramp!"
He strikes a pose, turning his head to one side and tilting one shoulder up, pouting his lips. "You gotta work what you have."
I growl low at him and catch those pouting lips in another kiss.
This could work. This could survive.
We break again and I have to push once more. "Elliot?" I ask, using his one word question.
He shakes his head and beams at me, brushing a hand through my hair. "You."
My heart melts. I take a deep breath and meet his gaze. So honestly. So openly. The minutes tick by. I can hear cars speeding down the road just a few feet away. The noises of people coming and going from the hospital. Finally I whisper again, full of meaning, full of heart, "I'm sorry."
He slowly smiles. His face and his eyes lighting up. That adoring, perfect puppydog gaze of his. He leans forward and rests his head on my shoulder, nuzzling his face against my neck, as he snuggles up closer to my chest, if at all possible. "Apology accepted."
I smile down at him. Truly smile. For the first time in years. My heart full. Overflowing.
Who knew going down the right road could feel so fucking good?
END
***
x-posted to jd_cox scrubs_slash scrubsfic