the size of this entire world
This is a pic of Carrie Brownstein, co-founder of the girl supergroup Sleater-Kinney, singing a hit from their 2005 album The Woods, entitled "Modern Girl":
"My baby loves me, I'm so hungry,
Hunger makes me a modern girl;
She took my money and bought a doughnut,
The hole's the size of this entire world..."
Carrie fell in love with Corin Tucker while they were both students here at Evergreen, they started the band when Ki was 6. S-K would go on to release seven albums and become international stars in the early 2000's. Music was a hit in the USA and many of the songs have a hard "thrashy" edge, but not as dark as the work of Nightwish, another supergroup which Ki strongly suggested I listen to.
Chester Bennington was the lead singer of a third supergroup, Linkin Park, who said this in a recent interview:
"I find myself getting into these patterns of behavior or thought -- especially when I am stuck up here [in my head]; I like to say that this is like a bad neighborhood, and I should not go walking alone." Chester suffered molestation as a young boy and struggled with addiction throughout his career." Translation: PTSD.
Two days ago, Chester took his own life the same way Kiota did. Moving out of it.
Kiota journaled, in Spring 2008:
"I dissociate a lot...I don't feel like I'm really here."
Ki is a great lover of music and certainly knew Linkin Park, probably also Sleater-Kinney; they released albums across the same times Ki had been in college in Idaho and then was starting here...
Ki and Chester --- both substance users / abusers, both PTSD warriors, both in "bad neighborhoods" in their heads. Both gone now.
Carrie's world amounts to a hole in a doughnut. A void.
So what do you do when your world becomes a void?
Well, you move out of it. A real hole in a real doughnut is small compared to the rest of the food surrounding that hole. So you might not have to move so very far over --- for seeds, frosting, wheat, cream, whatever kind of donut, whatever turns you on in the food department.
In the artistic department: S-K took a long multi-year break, are back together touring now (as a band, not as a couple.) Meantime, Carrie weathered the trauma of breaking up with Corin, went on to feed her art appetites, she co-writes and stars in the TV hit "Portlandia", which has won a couple of Emmys and just got renewed for another season...
Hunger makes modern girls of all of us. Wherever we happen to be today.
And for all the rest of todays to come.
Blessings Be.
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:posted by Ki and Brad / silverplate88, with co-Mod Otter of this site