Another year? Close.
My year has been kind of shitty. More importantly the last few hours have been shitty, to the point of "epiphany".
I have become convinced that the reason I'm not happy is because I hate my lifestyle and have decided to be unhappy until I figure out where I'm doing it wrong and fucking fix it.
I'm irresponsible, childish, arrogant and incredibly narcissistic. I need to stop spending money that I don't have on shit I don't need. I need to stop dulling my mind and obsessing over escapist entertainment. I need to know my limits and stop believing that I deserve what I want solely because of some perceived inherent superiority.
Tomorrow I'm going to work, getting my shit done, and coming home. I'm going to be depressed as fuck because I'm wallowing in self-pity to recover and grieve for a day. It's also going to be a long god damned day.
Sunday.. I don't know. I'm going to do virtually nothing productive, possibly the dishes or some laundry. I may spend the entire day on Guild Wars 2, I may read any one of Ivanhoe, Brave New World or the Teachings of Buddah. I might just lay in bed and sleep. I'm pretty sure that I'll continue my pity party, regardless. I don't know.
On Monday morning, I'm going to get up, take the store manager's assessment test, make some phone calls and start to kick my life in the ass until I've earned what I expect out of it. I will move the fuck on and see what's next, and if what I see isn't going to make me happy, I'll just keep fucking moving until it does.
I have become convinced that the reason I'm not happy is because I hate my lifestyle and have decided to be unhappy until I figure out where I'm doing it wrong and fucking fix it.
I'm irresponsible, childish, arrogant and incredibly narcissistic. I need to stop spending money that I don't have on shit I don't need. I need to stop dulling my mind and obsessing over escapist entertainment. I need to know my limits and stop believing that I deserve what I want solely because of some perceived inherent superiority.
Tomorrow I'm going to work, getting my shit done, and coming home. I'm going to be depressed as fuck because I'm wallowing in self-pity to recover and grieve for a day. It's also going to be a long god damned day.
Sunday.. I don't know. I'm going to do virtually nothing productive, possibly the dishes or some laundry. I may spend the entire day on Guild Wars 2, I may read any one of Ivanhoe, Brave New World or the Teachings of Buddah. I might just lay in bed and sleep. I'm pretty sure that I'll continue my pity party, regardless. I don't know.
On Monday morning, I'm going to get up, take the store manager's assessment test, make some phone calls and start to kick my life in the ass until I've earned what I expect out of it. I will move the fuck on and see what's next, and if what I see isn't going to make me happy, I'll just keep fucking moving until it does.