Redundant
Just finished watching Cell 211, a jaw-dropping thriller from Spain. A prison guard reports for his first day on duty, and while being shown around the place ends up knocked unconscious just in time for a prison riot. Locked inside, he's forced to think at the speed of light to save his skin. You may think you've seen this film before. You haven't. Trust me. First of all, no rape. That's right, a prison movie with no rape. Thank you Spain. Also, Cell 211 pulses with an anger that you might not expect. To some degree, it sides with the prisoners. It's clear from the beginning that the establishment doesn't care what happens to them as long as the incident is kept out of the papers. Kind of like the District 13 films, but with the kid gloves removed. The film begins with an inmate's dramatic suicide that seems gratuitous at the time, but the ghost of that tragic prisoner haunts the entire story. Any more would be a spoiler. You need to see this film. It's awesome as hell.
So why am I infuriated? Apparently it's being remade in English already. Never mind that it's only a year or two old, and an excellent film. Oddly enough, most people seem excited about the prospect. "Hey! Paul Haggis is writing the screenplay! [claps like a seal]" Why, when Hollywood execs see an amazing movie, don't they decide to give it a wide release and convince people they should see it? It worked for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon didn't it? And this is a prison film! Americans love prison films! Why else would Shawshank Redemption be considered a masterpiece by so many people who aren't me? No, they think that the best thing to do is make another goddamn movie.
Yes, I know we're a nation of sheep. I'm used to the trailers for foreign films that have a narration, but no dialog from the film, lest the audience realize it made in a land where people talk jibber jabber. I understand that people really are so stupid that they don't want to be exposed to an interesting movie the minute they learn it came from another culture. But damn anyone who encourages that idiocy. Did anyone need "Eat Drink Man Woman" remade as "Tortilla Soup"? Or "La Femme Nikita" remade as "Point of No Return"? If we're lucky, we'll end up with a film like "The Departed" or "Insomnia" that at least puts a different spin on things. But I'm amazed how few people know that those are even remakes. Anyone too dumb or stubborn to watch Cell 211 should be banned from watching the remake. And that also goes for anyone who won't read The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy because they already saw the movie. You're a shuffling mob of brain-dead livestock, and you can all rot.
Not that I'm angry or anything.
So why am I infuriated? Apparently it's being remade in English already. Never mind that it's only a year or two old, and an excellent film. Oddly enough, most people seem excited about the prospect. "Hey! Paul Haggis is writing the screenplay! [claps like a seal]" Why, when Hollywood execs see an amazing movie, don't they decide to give it a wide release and convince people they should see it? It worked for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon didn't it? And this is a prison film! Americans love prison films! Why else would Shawshank Redemption be considered a masterpiece by so many people who aren't me? No, they think that the best thing to do is make another goddamn movie.
Yes, I know we're a nation of sheep. I'm used to the trailers for foreign films that have a narration, but no dialog from the film, lest the audience realize it made in a land where people talk jibber jabber. I understand that people really are so stupid that they don't want to be exposed to an interesting movie the minute they learn it came from another culture. But damn anyone who encourages that idiocy. Did anyone need "Eat Drink Man Woman" remade as "Tortilla Soup"? Or "La Femme Nikita" remade as "Point of No Return"? If we're lucky, we'll end up with a film like "The Departed" or "Insomnia" that at least puts a different spin on things. But I'm amazed how few people know that those are even remakes. Anyone too dumb or stubborn to watch Cell 211 should be banned from watching the remake. And that also goes for anyone who won't read The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy because they already saw the movie. You're a shuffling mob of brain-dead livestock, and you can all rot.
Not that I'm angry or anything.