002 Study Groups
[A: Private to Abel]
[Enough was enough. His chest hurt with the last couple of weeks, knowing his brother was here and yet being alone all the same. It wasn't right, it was painful to endure, and he had come to the end of his patience with it. He thought Abel would seek him out; after all, he was apparently the elder now and with all the ( Read more... )
[Enough was enough. His chest hurt with the last couple of weeks, knowing his brother was here and yet being alone all the same. It wasn't right, it was painful to endure, and he had come to the end of his patience with it. He thought Abel would seek him out; after all, he was apparently the elder now and with all the ( Read more... )
he pushes glasses up his nose and offers a tentative smile, politely friendly as ever. this isn't awkward, no. no! not at all. this is how things have always been or something. yes. totally.]
Ah-- Cain? Is everything okay?
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No. You know it's not, you can't pretend that you think this is okay. We need to... it can't go on like this.
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the smile began to slip from his face, at that. his brother had seemed -- not content, but... placated, by their mutual and silent reservation to keeping their distances and walking on eggshells around each other. it was... wrong; of course it was wrong.
but so many things were, when it came to all of this. when it came to... Cain and Abel.]
...
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Why didn't you come to me? Are you really happier without us talking?
[It hurt to even ask that question.]
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Of... course not, I just--
[the excuse sounds pathetic, even in his head.]
...thought you... needed your space.
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...From you?
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[he doesn't blame him. of course he doesn't blame him... there's no judgment in his tone or his eyes. on the contrary, just understanding.]
I'm not-- the 'Abel' you remember, right? So, it's like living with a stranger for you... I don't want to force you into talking if you don't want to, hm?
We'll all get home, and things will be like they're supposed to. Until then, it's perfectly okay if you need some space... okay, Cain? I won't make you do anything you don't want to.
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[He was cross, furious in a way he didn't usually get, hurt that Abel could even be so stupid where they were concerned. Reaching out, he pushed the palm of a small hand against the priest's chest almost roughly, leaving it there above his heartbeat.]
But you're still the Abel I know. I don't care if you're ten or ten thousand, you're still Abel... aren't I still Cain?
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he looks taken aback at the press of a tiny hand to his chest, right above his... heart.]
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Cain. it's-- not like that, it isn't... that you're not-- ahh...
his brow furrows and there is clear conflict in his eyes as they drop from his brother's. he's hurting him, isn't he? this isn't what he wanted, at all.]
...I'm... sorry, Cain.
[you're you... you're definitely you. you're plucked right out of his fondest memories, and that's why it... hurts. he doesn't know what to do with this at all. ;(]
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[He folded his arms, putting on his best stern big brother expression.]
I don't understand what's happened to you, Abel. Why are you ashamed of me? Of us? Of everything? Why do you think I wouldn't love you even if you were fifty feet tall? Why won't you be my other half any more? I know you can, I don't understand why you won't.
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[damnit; how the hell does he possibly explain? he doesn't even... know what to do, at a loss and obvious strain on his face as he finds himself staring back into blue eyes looking back at him, vehemently wanting to impress upon him it isn't anything on Cain and entirely his own fault. but he's still... selfishly clinging to the desire to keep all his failures private, to keep him innocent and oblivious, and...]
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...this... isn't working.
this, keeping him at arm's length and simply... waiting for things to go back to how they should be is just tearing at his brother, and how the hell could he ever forgive himself for that? he's doing it all over again...]
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steeling himself.
takes a bit of talking up to himself in his head, but...
he hesitates--
and then reaches out, tentatively, before... gently cupping his brother's cheeks in his hands. so small. and soft.]
...I'm... I-- want to... make you smile. I never want to be the reason why you're... sad, or hurting anymore. You'd think I'd have learned by now... right?
[a wan smile. he really is repeating old mistakes, isn't he? fell right back into old habits... ignoring his brother's pain in favor of drowning his own. selfish and... stupid. he's so stupid...]
You... help me out, okay? Help me out, show me how to make things okay again, and I promise... I'll make it up to you. I promise, Cain.
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I don't want you to do anything, but be my twin again.
[Be always with him; be close to him, love him and be loved.]
We're supposed to be together. You always said you'd bite the shins off anyone who tried to separate us... [He swallowed a little thickly, bending to tap Abel's shinbone twice.] ...so get chewing.
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a thumb... tentatively rubs one of those cheeks, before he's plucking this little guy up and right into his lap, squeezing the daylights out of him. s-so tight. >: YOU DON'T NEED TO BREATHE EVER AGAIN OKAY
also move
because you're not leaving this spot ever.]
Sorry. I'm-- sorry, Cain... I'm so sorry. [and he isn't really apologizing for the tiny slights of Mayfield as much as the horrors of home. he is such a fail brother ;/]
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