Just trying to get this all out of my system. The same grinding noise my thoughts make against each other as I encounter another birthday every year
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You know, I get the guilt thing. Besides all the things you've listed, I've also never had anyone close to me die, except for grandparents who lived long full lives; I've gotten off easy in terms of my love life and breakups; I've been blessed with good health and opportunities and a damn easy path through life. And I feel guilty for it, sometimes. I don't deserve to have it this good considering all the people who don't.
But then I realize that by NOT taking advantage of what I've been given, by not enjoying my life due to guilt, it's not helping anyone else. It's not giving other people the happiness I'm missing out on; that happiness is just getting lost in the void somewhere. So I let myself be happy, while at the same time keeping my perspective; because in that healthy mental state I will be the most capable of helping others, rather than if I'm struggling to keep my own life under control.
Does that make sense? I'm not trying to criticize. I'm just suggesting that to help others you don't need to make yourself miserable, as well. You're the most selfless person I know, and I hate to see you sacrifice your own happiness in the name of others'. It doesn't have to be that way <3
But then I realize that by NOT taking advantage of what I've been given, by not enjoying my life due to guilt, it's not helping anyone else. It's not giving other people the happiness I'm missing out on; that happiness is just getting lost in the void somewhere. So I let myself be happy, while at the same time keeping my perspective; because in that healthy mental state I will be the most capable of helping others, rather than if I'm struggling to keep my own life under control.
Does that make sense? I'm not trying to criticize. I'm just suggesting that to help others you don't need to make yourself miserable, as well. You're the most selfless person I know, and I hate to see you sacrifice your own happiness in the name of others'. It doesn't have to be that way <3
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