Still In Love
Four years into their relationship and pressure to take the next step is building up
Eight
The thick silence that hung around the apartment was broken by the shrill sound of a cellphone beeping. Neither of them stood up to see if it was theirs. They sat at separate ends of the couch, staring into nothingness. Neither of them was going to admit they were wrong. They were too far gone to do that now. Junsu felt misunderstood, belittled. Yoochun felt hurt and near humiliated due to all his faults being listed.
It was the next morning, close to afternoon actually. Yoochun had nothing planned and he was basically just waiting for Junsu to leave to wherever the hell he needed to be, he couldn't care less at that point, so he could clean up the kitchen from yesterday's mess and go out for a walk to clear his head.
Almost three o'clock and the only place Junsu went was the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.
Yoochun had had it. He got dressed and left the apartment, making sure he slammed the door after him shut. He knew it was childish and passive aggressive and he was okay with that.
He really had nowhere to go. He didn't feel like being with anyone at that point and just wondered around the city. It was warm and people were all sipping drinks on terraces and most probably having picnics at the park or even went to the beach.
As Yoochun walked passed a barber and saw himself in the reflecting shop window he had to admit, his hair was getting ridiculously long.
After Yoochun left and slammed the door shut like a big baby, Junsu turned on the radio and cleaned the kitchen from their untouched dinners, glasses of champagne and candles. It was then for the first time that he noticed the flowers by the window and the first time he saw the hysterically expensive deserts in the fridge. The only time they had eaten those before was for Junsu's birthday and Yoochun made it very clear that that was the first and last time they were ever going to spend fifty bucks on a chocolate cake the size of a CD.
He instantly felt gut wrenching regret sore through him. Instead of just saying thank you and appreciating the effort Yoochun had put into it, he had crapped all over it. It was too late now though. If he said he was sorry now he couldn't possibly add that Yoochun was still wrong without creating another fight. He thought that maybe living together in silence for the rest of their lives was their only option.
And then, like a slap to the face, it hit him. Where it had all gone wrong, what their mistake had been.
Immediately Yoochun comes home he calls for Junsu because obviously he has something special to show him. He only finds a note on the table
Maybe moving in together really wasn't the right thing for us right now. I'm at my parents'. Not running away. Love you.
Ps; didn't wait till you came home because I know I wouldn't want to leave any more.
“Then why did you leave,” Yoochun sighs in complete and utter exhaustion before he lets himself fall onto the couch which looks a lot bigger all of sudden.
Junsu's mother was visiting her parents in the countryside that summer and wouldn't be back for another two weeks. His dad was the only one home and Junsu was thankful. There were no excessive questions and no prodding into his love life, but he knew the subject had to come up sooner or later.
“So,” his dad said that evening during half time of a random soccer game that was on. “How's Yoochun?”
“Fine,” Junsu said. “Healthy. We're not broken up if that's what you're wondering.”
“Okay. Did he kick you out?”
“What? No, dad. I just... I was wrong in thinking we were ready to move in together.”
“It's been five years, son. Moving in seemed like a pretty good idea to me.”
Junsu shrugged. Yoochun hadn't called him yet and Junsu didn't know if he was still angry or just trying to give him his space.
“I mean, why did I even care about that stupid anniversary? It's a meaningless thing when you think about it.”
“What happened with your anniversary?”
Junsu continued to explain his situation feeling rather awkward having this conversation with his dad but at the same time he felt relieved.
“Son, you know what this sounds like?”
“Well?”
“This sounds like you've forgotten that you're a man. I don't see why you have to wait for him to make a move for you to make your own. If he's not the kind of person who does stuff like that why can't you do it for him?”
Junsu didn't have an answer for that. It was true that he had accused Yoochun of treating him like a kid, but had he ever tried to take responsibility for himself?
“Because he brushes it off,” Junsu finally said and it sounded as a lame excuse, even in his ears.
“Shut up, the game is starting again.”
As he lay in what was now the guest room and what used to be his bedroom, he finally got a call.
“Took you long enough,”Junsu said as he answered.
“Where are you?”
“Home.”
“Just checking...Good night.”
“Wait,” Junsu said. “What are you doing?”
“Getting ready for bed. I had something to show you but...”
“Something?”
“I cut my hair.”
“Really? You know you didn't really have to do that. I like your long hair...”
“Now you say that.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Me too.”
“Are you mad I left?”
“You should have waited for me to come home.”
“You'd have persuaded me to stay.”
“I would have tried.”
“Shut up, you're making me want to come home already,”Junsu groaned and rolled onto his stomach.
“Just say the word and I'll come pick you up right now.”
“My dad will think we're stupid. Plus, I think he's kind of lonely without my mom.”
“I'm lonely without you.”
“This room reminds me of all the nights I laid in bed thinking of you,” Junsu said softly. “There wasn't even a second that you weren't on my mind before we were together.”
“What would you be thinking about?”
Junsu laughed, realizing where this was going. “All sorts of things. I'd imagine you lying here with me to start with.”
“And then what?”
“My dad could hear me,” Junsu whispered.
“Tell him I said hi.”
“Shut up. Be honest though, do you think I should come home?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because I don't like sleeping alone. It really isn't good to just leave your husband behind and leave, you know.”
“Husband?” Junsu laughed. “That sounds wrong.”
“Tell me when you need me to pick you up and I'll come okay? You were right about everything from the very beginning. You turned out smarter than me.”
“Say that again.”
“No. Once is all you get.”
“Then I'm not coming home.”
“Fine then stay there.”
Junsu sighed. “Your pride, it's killing me. Pick me up tomorrow after my dad leaves for work okay?”
“Wait, what about your dad and him being lonely?”
“He'll live.”