Hummingbird Heartbeat
It could be the last time; Yoosu; Graduation fic; pg
Hummingbird Heartbeat
The sun was burning against their necks. Thing beads of sweat glistening on the sides of their head, coming down from under their graduation caps. Everyone had a smile on their face, even the grumpiest of fathers sitting in the back row. The girls were exchanging looks, whispering something now and then, giving each other silent high fives as one after the other got called up the stage to collect their much deserved high school diploma. There are chuckles here and there as the principle says a little something about each girl.
“And now,” the principle said, “we move on to the gentlemen.”
Junsu looked at his friends who looked at him or at each other. They did it. They survived.
“Kim Jun Su,” The principle called. “Our star, whether it's music or sports. This young man has it all.”
Junsu passed his classmates as he walked up to the stage. They grinned at him. And then at the very end sat the man he had been trying to avoid for the last six months. He was wearing his own graduation hat, a stunning black suit with a black shirt underneath. Junsu looked away and sped up the stage to grab his diploma and walk off, back to his seat.
What had started as a good day was now a day full of doubts. This could be the last time he'd ever see him. That thought scared the hell out of him.
He only half listened to the other's being called up and when it was finally his turn, Junsu's heart ached even more. The short introduction the principle gave on him brought a bitter taste to Junsu's mouth.
“Park Yoo Chun,” he had said, “Our school's humble Romeo.”
His hand shook for a moment and he clasped his diploma tightly in his fists. A dull ache that he hadn't felt in months was back all of a sudden.
The principle wrapped things up after that and Junsu took his graduation cap off and went to look for his parents. When he walked passed the line of guests one of them grabbed his hand. When he looked down to see who it was, his heart stopped and his stomach churned.
“Congratulations,” Mrs Park said with a smile and stood up. “You've worked hard.”
“Thank you,” Junsu said. “That means a lot.”
“I miss having you around,” she said. “I still have an album filled with the pictures of you too together.”
Junsu was at a loss of words. He couldn't believe this was happening.
“I...It's nice seeing you again,” Junsu finally said. “I'm sorry it turned out this way.” The awkwardness was killing him. This was too much.
He heard his name being called and excused himself. He walked away, not towards where his name was called because really he didn't care who it was. He went looking for his parents, hugged them and accepted all the congratulations with a smile. He gave them his diploma to take home and told them he'd stay back with friends. They left and Junsu went to find his way out. He needed a moment to himself.
As he was about to leave the field he was caught by his arm. Flashes went off and he found himself being pulled in by his friends for yearbook pictures. Yoochun was there, talking to people one after the other, being the social genius he was.
Junsu had no idea where the time went. When he looked at his watch it was almost ten o'clock and the sun was setting. His friends and unconsciously succeeded in taking his mind off all things that had to do with Yoochun but when everyone started going their own way and things got quieter in and around the school Junsu's thoughts went back to that dark and painful place.
He found himself ending up on the bleachers, like he did at the end of every schoolday. It was only fitting to do it on his graduation. Usually he was accompanied by at least one of his classmates or soccer team mates and a while ago, Yoochun. But there he sat, alone, watching the sun disappear behind the school building at the other side of the field.
He went back to all the happenings of that afternoon and shook his head. Was this really how things were going to end? He let out a heavy breath and then heard heels clicking on the wood of the benches. He looked up and dug his nails into his palms.
“Hey,” Yoochun said. “Congratulations. I'm really happy you made it.”
“You too,” Junsu mumbled. Yoochun sat down a few feet away from him.
“I'm sorry. My mom should never have spoken to you. She doesn't know the details.”
“You should have told her. Everything.”
“I'm sorry.”
“I was happy she reached out to me though. At least someone did.”
“What did she say to you?”
“It came down to this; you'll never find anyone better than me.”
“That sounds like something my mother would say,” Yoochun chuckled. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. And it's the last day of school and I don't even know what you're going to do after this.”
''Aviation,” Junsu answered. “In Seoul.”
“Ah,”Yoochun nodded. “I guess this isn't the end then.”
“What, you too?”
“Engineering. Same faculty.”
Junsu felt his shoulders loosen up. This wasn't over. Not yet.
“I guess it isn't the end.”
“Hey... I apologized for my mom but I know I have more to apologize for. I'm sorry...for everything. I was stupid thinking I could play you. You never deserved any of that.”
“Thank you.”
“I wanted to tell you this because I was afraid this could be the last time in a while I'd even be able to talk to you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“Junsu...”
“Why didn't you come earlier? Like, I don't know, five months ago.”
“Are you telling me you forgot that awkward scene in which I was crying and begging for your forgiveness for over forty-five minutes? Well I haven't. Pretty sure I'm never going to forget that.”
“I was pissed. And I'll admit that I didn't want to have anything to do with you for a long while after that. I basically loathed you.”
“I deserve that.”
“But then you just....stopped trying. Like I wasn't worth it anymore.”
“That wasn't it at all, okay? But the little pride I had left after that episode I decided to put into something useful. Besides, you made it pretty clear that you never wanted to see me anymore and if you were happier without me then what can I do?”
“Listen...I know why you did it. It's pretty strange to be with someone for a year and a half and not get further than a kiss when nobody is looking. The thing that bothered me is that you lead me on. You said you loved me and I believed you-”
“I do love you. That's never going to change.”
“You didn't love me enough to keep it in your pants though. You should have broken up with me. No, you should have never even started chasing me.”
“Love makes you do crazy things.”
Junsu let out a shivering breath before standing up. “I guess I'll see you around, Romeo.”
“Wait,” Yoochun said and blocked Junsu's way from getting off the bleacher's. “You know you're the only person who could make me cry like a pussy for forty-five minutes right?”
“I'll be honest,”Junsu said and put his hands into his pant pockets. “That makes me feel really really good.”
“As long as you know,” Yoochun said. “And hey, you look really good in a suit.”
“As do you. Now stop flirting already.”
“Why? Am I making your heart beat like back in the day?”
“Like a humming bird,” Junsu rolled his eyes but was silently willing his heart to be quiet.
“Because you know that if there is even the slightest chance you'll want me back someday...”
“No-”
“-I'm going to turn into a stalker until that day is there.”
“What makes you even think I'll ever want you back? Only a complete fool would do something like that,” Junsu said and wanted to slide passed him, but Yoochun moved and blocked his way again.
“Give me your phone number.”
“No.”
“Come on, just to keep in touch during the summer. I was kidding about the stalker thing.”
“No, Yoochun, this isn't going to happen. I'm not-”
“-interested? Is there someone else?”
Junsu shook his head. “I need to get home.”
“I'll take you.”
“I'm walking.”
“I'll walk you.”
“Yoochun.”
They looked at each other, their faces lit by the lanterns around the field in an orangey glow. “What makes you think I'd ever let you anywhere near my heart again?”
Yoochun smiled. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
“That's a lie,” Junsu snorted and looked away. What if he really could here it? God knew that thing was going crazy in his chest.
“True,” Yoochun laughed. “But your reaction is telling me that if I could hear it, I'd be happy.”
“Romeo, Romeo blah blah blah, you're a flirt. All talk. Show me you can actually keep it in your pants and we'll see.”
“Is that a challenge?” Yoochun asked.
“I'll see you next year,”Junsu sighed. “Take care.”
“I'm keeping you to this promise, Junsu,” he said.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Don't whatever me. You're mine at the end of this summer.”
Junsu laughed and brushed past him. “See you next year.”
Hummingbird Heartbeat
The sun was burning against their necks. Thing beads of sweat glistening on the sides of their head, coming down from under their graduation caps. Everyone had a smile on their face, even the grumpiest of fathers sitting in the back row. The girls were exchanging looks, whispering something now and then, giving each other silent high fives as one after the other got called up the stage to collect their much deserved high school diploma. There are chuckles here and there as the principle says a little something about each girl.
“And now,” the principle said, “we move on to the gentlemen.”
Junsu looked at his friends who looked at him or at each other. They did it. They survived.
“Kim Jun Su,” The principle called. “Our star, whether it's music or sports. This young man has it all.”
Junsu passed his classmates as he walked up to the stage. They grinned at him. And then at the very end sat the man he had been trying to avoid for the last six months. He was wearing his own graduation hat, a stunning black suit with a black shirt underneath. Junsu looked away and sped up the stage to grab his diploma and walk off, back to his seat.
What had started as a good day was now a day full of doubts. This could be the last time he'd ever see him. That thought scared the hell out of him.
He only half listened to the other's being called up and when it was finally his turn, Junsu's heart ached even more. The short introduction the principle gave on him brought a bitter taste to Junsu's mouth.
“Park Yoo Chun,” he had said, “Our school's humble Romeo.”
His hand shook for a moment and he clasped his diploma tightly in his fists. A dull ache that he hadn't felt in months was back all of a sudden.
The principle wrapped things up after that and Junsu took his graduation cap off and went to look for his parents. When he walked passed the line of guests one of them grabbed his hand. When he looked down to see who it was, his heart stopped and his stomach churned.
“Congratulations,” Mrs Park said with a smile and stood up. “You've worked hard.”
“Thank you,” Junsu said. “That means a lot.”
“I miss having you around,” she said. “I still have an album filled with the pictures of you too together.”
Junsu was at a loss of words. He couldn't believe this was happening.
“I...It's nice seeing you again,” Junsu finally said. “I'm sorry it turned out this way.” The awkwardness was killing him. This was too much.
He heard his name being called and excused himself. He walked away, not towards where his name was called because really he didn't care who it was. He went looking for his parents, hugged them and accepted all the congratulations with a smile. He gave them his diploma to take home and told them he'd stay back with friends. They left and Junsu went to find his way out. He needed a moment to himself.
As he was about to leave the field he was caught by his arm. Flashes went off and he found himself being pulled in by his friends for yearbook pictures. Yoochun was there, talking to people one after the other, being the social genius he was.
Junsu had no idea where the time went. When he looked at his watch it was almost ten o'clock and the sun was setting. His friends and unconsciously succeeded in taking his mind off all things that had to do with Yoochun but when everyone started going their own way and things got quieter in and around the school Junsu's thoughts went back to that dark and painful place.
He found himself ending up on the bleachers, like he did at the end of every schoolday. It was only fitting to do it on his graduation. Usually he was accompanied by at least one of his classmates or soccer team mates and a while ago, Yoochun. But there he sat, alone, watching the sun disappear behind the school building at the other side of the field.
He went back to all the happenings of that afternoon and shook his head. Was this really how things were going to end? He let out a heavy breath and then heard heels clicking on the wood of the benches. He looked up and dug his nails into his palms.
“Hey,” Yoochun said. “Congratulations. I'm really happy you made it.”
“You too,” Junsu mumbled. Yoochun sat down a few feet away from him.
“I'm sorry. My mom should never have spoken to you. She doesn't know the details.”
“You should have told her. Everything.”
“I'm sorry.”
“I was happy she reached out to me though. At least someone did.”
“What did she say to you?”
“It came down to this; you'll never find anyone better than me.”
“That sounds like something my mother would say,” Yoochun chuckled. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. And it's the last day of school and I don't even know what you're going to do after this.”
''Aviation,” Junsu answered. “In Seoul.”
“Ah,”Yoochun nodded. “I guess this isn't the end then.”
“What, you too?”
“Engineering. Same faculty.”
Junsu felt his shoulders loosen up. This wasn't over. Not yet.
“I guess it isn't the end.”
“Hey... I apologized for my mom but I know I have more to apologize for. I'm sorry...for everything. I was stupid thinking I could play you. You never deserved any of that.”
“Thank you.”
“I wanted to tell you this because I was afraid this could be the last time in a while I'd even be able to talk to you.”
“I appreciate it.”
“Junsu...”
“Why didn't you come earlier? Like, I don't know, five months ago.”
“Are you telling me you forgot that awkward scene in which I was crying and begging for your forgiveness for over forty-five minutes? Well I haven't. Pretty sure I'm never going to forget that.”
“I was pissed. And I'll admit that I didn't want to have anything to do with you for a long while after that. I basically loathed you.”
“I deserve that.”
“But then you just....stopped trying. Like I wasn't worth it anymore.”
“That wasn't it at all, okay? But the little pride I had left after that episode I decided to put into something useful. Besides, you made it pretty clear that you never wanted to see me anymore and if you were happier without me then what can I do?”
“Listen...I know why you did it. It's pretty strange to be with someone for a year and a half and not get further than a kiss when nobody is looking. The thing that bothered me is that you lead me on. You said you loved me and I believed you-”
“I do love you. That's never going to change.”
“You didn't love me enough to keep it in your pants though. You should have broken up with me. No, you should have never even started chasing me.”
“Love makes you do crazy things.”
Junsu let out a shivering breath before standing up. “I guess I'll see you around, Romeo.”
“Wait,” Yoochun said and blocked Junsu's way from getting off the bleacher's. “You know you're the only person who could make me cry like a pussy for forty-five minutes right?”
“I'll be honest,”Junsu said and put his hands into his pant pockets. “That makes me feel really really good.”
“As long as you know,” Yoochun said. “And hey, you look really good in a suit.”
“As do you. Now stop flirting already.”
“Why? Am I making your heart beat like back in the day?”
“Like a humming bird,” Junsu rolled his eyes but was silently willing his heart to be quiet.
“Because you know that if there is even the slightest chance you'll want me back someday...”
“No-”
“-I'm going to turn into a stalker until that day is there.”
“What makes you even think I'll ever want you back? Only a complete fool would do something like that,” Junsu said and wanted to slide passed him, but Yoochun moved and blocked his way again.
“Give me your phone number.”
“No.”
“Come on, just to keep in touch during the summer. I was kidding about the stalker thing.”
“No, Yoochun, this isn't going to happen. I'm not-”
“-interested? Is there someone else?”
Junsu shook his head. “I need to get home.”
“I'll take you.”
“I'm walking.”
“I'll walk you.”
“Yoochun.”
They looked at each other, their faces lit by the lanterns around the field in an orangey glow. “What makes you think I'd ever let you anywhere near my heart again?”
Yoochun smiled. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
“That's a lie,” Junsu snorted and looked away. What if he really could here it? God knew that thing was going crazy in his chest.
“True,” Yoochun laughed. “But your reaction is telling me that if I could hear it, I'd be happy.”
“Romeo, Romeo blah blah blah, you're a flirt. All talk. Show me you can actually keep it in your pants and we'll see.”
“Is that a challenge?” Yoochun asked.
“I'll see you next year,”Junsu sighed. “Take care.”
“I'm keeping you to this promise, Junsu,” he said.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Don't whatever me. You're mine at the end of this summer.”
Junsu laughed and brushed past him. “See you next year.”