"Whoa!" Is Me
I may come across on here as a tough, sassy lady, with charm, wit and sex appeal to spare, but every so often, I get slapped in the face with reality. For you see, beyond my witty exterior and quick comebacks, I’m actually more like a shy young thing, still wet behind the ears.
I sometimes have trouble making small-talk with strangers, but I can usually skirt through it with awkward chit chat and what-not until we can part ways. However, when it comes to men, I am a ball of nervousness! I never know how to react when a guy is hitting on me, especially face-to-face in public, and I end up feeling a fool afterwards.
Take tonight, for instance. Sam (who I work with at the hotel and have known for quite awhile) and his girlfriend, Alanna, wanted to meet up for a late treat at Denny’s. I was into it because I’d previously been knitting. Kiley had called earlier and asked if I’d come in and take over the rest of her shift, since she wasn’t feeling well, and I said I’d come in later and see what happened.
So anyway, I’m at Denny’s with Sam and Alanna. I had an order of delicious Zesty Nachos (which wound up giving me zesty bowel movements soon after), and sharing Sam’s banana split, as per his insistence to me and Alanna because he said he couldn’t eat it all himself.
Now, if you know me in person, then you know that if you take me out to eat in public, I’m most likely going to be leaving the place with about a quarter of the food on my shirt. I am a messy, get into it kind of eater, and I make no qualms about this, and my friends embrace it and get a kick out of it; no one’s surprised when I go, “Oh!” and look down. It’s just commonplace.
Well, I’d eaten and was hella stuffed to the max, and excused myself to the loo for a refreshing wee. As I was releasing the urine from my bladder, I heard someone walk in behind me. When I finished pissing, I flushed and turned around to wash my hands at the sink. The guy who had walked in was wearing mostly white, and had glasses. He looked about my age, and was a tad bit attractive (wink, wink).
I came at the sink from the side, so I wouldn’t block his view. As I was washing, he said, “How’re you doing tonight?” I kind of paused, then looked at him, “I’m okay,” then glanced at my shirt, “and messy.” He kind of made an “a-ha” type of facial expression and followed it up with, “Yeah, I do that sometimes, too.”
I had no clue what to follow this up with, so I smiled, wiped my hands, and walked out. What. The. Fuck? I really have no skills in real life; I need a course on Flirting 101; or maybe Flirting 411. Whatever.
So we went to pay, and the guy was at the register, waiting to be seated. The cashier just happens to be Ashley R. who I work with at Ponderosa. I told her the situation and tried convincing her to chat the guy up so she could get the down-low on his status and maybe work something out for me, but she declined, saying it would be weird, since he was her customer… lol… what can I say? I guess I can understand that.
When I told Sam what had happened in the bathroom, he cracked up at the, “Okay… and messy,” line, as if it was salacious and dirty. I didn’t even think about it at the time, but I guess he was right. So you see, I’m like an innocent school girl, who’s flirting dirtily and doesn’t even realize it half the time. Like Britney Spears when she first burst onto the scene. “Oops, I Did It Again,” style.
After paying and saying my farewells to Sam and Alanna, I came to the hotel and again recited what had just happened to Kiley. We decided to role play, me as the guy, and she as me. It went like this:
Me as Guy: Hey how are you doing tonight?
Kiley as Me: I’m okay… and messy.
MAG: Yeah, I do that sometimes, too.
KAM: Don’t we all!
And then we both cracked up because - hello! - that would have been a great response, would it have not? Man! LoL So now I leave it up to fate. If I were meant to swap witty come-ons with the Denny’s guy, maybe he’ll wind up back in my space in the near future. I can only hope, and I wish to have a way with words when it happens.
Oh, dear.
PS - I just re-read this blog and I realized that the dialogue between myself and Denny's guy may not actually come across as "flirting." However, do keep in mind that it was the tone in his voice that eschewed the flirting-vibe, not just the random jabber coming from our lips. So really, I swear, I'm not that dense, and it was flirty. LOL I just wanted to clarify, so you didn't think I was like a wispy school girl making something out of nothing. Mmmk? Peace!
I sometimes have trouble making small-talk with strangers, but I can usually skirt through it with awkward chit chat and what-not until we can part ways. However, when it comes to men, I am a ball of nervousness! I never know how to react when a guy is hitting on me, especially face-to-face in public, and I end up feeling a fool afterwards.
Take tonight, for instance. Sam (who I work with at the hotel and have known for quite awhile) and his girlfriend, Alanna, wanted to meet up for a late treat at Denny’s. I was into it because I’d previously been knitting. Kiley had called earlier and asked if I’d come in and take over the rest of her shift, since she wasn’t feeling well, and I said I’d come in later and see what happened.
So anyway, I’m at Denny’s with Sam and Alanna. I had an order of delicious Zesty Nachos (which wound up giving me zesty bowel movements soon after), and sharing Sam’s banana split, as per his insistence to me and Alanna because he said he couldn’t eat it all himself.
Now, if you know me in person, then you know that if you take me out to eat in public, I’m most likely going to be leaving the place with about a quarter of the food on my shirt. I am a messy, get into it kind of eater, and I make no qualms about this, and my friends embrace it and get a kick out of it; no one’s surprised when I go, “Oh!” and look down. It’s just commonplace.
Well, I’d eaten and was hella stuffed to the max, and excused myself to the loo for a refreshing wee. As I was releasing the urine from my bladder, I heard someone walk in behind me. When I finished pissing, I flushed and turned around to wash my hands at the sink. The guy who had walked in was wearing mostly white, and had glasses. He looked about my age, and was a tad bit attractive (wink, wink).
I came at the sink from the side, so I wouldn’t block his view. As I was washing, he said, “How’re you doing tonight?” I kind of paused, then looked at him, “I’m okay,” then glanced at my shirt, “and messy.” He kind of made an “a-ha” type of facial expression and followed it up with, “Yeah, I do that sometimes, too.”
I had no clue what to follow this up with, so I smiled, wiped my hands, and walked out. What. The. Fuck? I really have no skills in real life; I need a course on Flirting 101; or maybe Flirting 411. Whatever.
So we went to pay, and the guy was at the register, waiting to be seated. The cashier just happens to be Ashley R. who I work with at Ponderosa. I told her the situation and tried convincing her to chat the guy up so she could get the down-low on his status and maybe work something out for me, but she declined, saying it would be weird, since he was her customer… lol… what can I say? I guess I can understand that.
When I told Sam what had happened in the bathroom, he cracked up at the, “Okay… and messy,” line, as if it was salacious and dirty. I didn’t even think about it at the time, but I guess he was right. So you see, I’m like an innocent school girl, who’s flirting dirtily and doesn’t even realize it half the time. Like Britney Spears when she first burst onto the scene. “Oops, I Did It Again,” style.
After paying and saying my farewells to Sam and Alanna, I came to the hotel and again recited what had just happened to Kiley. We decided to role play, me as the guy, and she as me. It went like this:
Me as Guy: Hey how are you doing tonight?
Kiley as Me: I’m okay… and messy.
MAG: Yeah, I do that sometimes, too.
KAM: Don’t we all!
And then we both cracked up because - hello! - that would have been a great response, would it have not? Man! LoL So now I leave it up to fate. If I were meant to swap witty come-ons with the Denny’s guy, maybe he’ll wind up back in my space in the near future. I can only hope, and I wish to have a way with words when it happens.
Oh, dear.
PS - I just re-read this blog and I realized that the dialogue between myself and Denny's guy may not actually come across as "flirting." However, do keep in mind that it was the tone in his voice that eschewed the flirting-vibe, not just the random jabber coming from our lips. So really, I swear, I'm not that dense, and it was flirty. LOL I just wanted to clarify, so you didn't think I was like a wispy school girl making something out of nothing. Mmmk? Peace!