Life Goes On... Or So It Seems.
Today I offically started my first case at California PsychCare Inc. A wonderful little boy and a wonderful family to work with. I'm definetly thankful for that.
I'm going on vacation to San Francisco this Monday to Wednsday with Apple, looking forward to that. Not looking forward to going to Freeman's funeral. ((For those who are unaware of the date it is this Friday 12:00 noon at the Church of Laterday Saints off of Erbes.)) Part of me wants to become a social hermit again and just live in the denial of his death. I know I haven't had a strong connection to Freeman, he was a good friend, I can live without him most definetly but the thought that he is gone from my life. That I no longer can have his friendship in the physical form seems to tear me up inside. I miss him.
My parents want me out by Friday. It won't happen. I wish it would. I need to move out. Maybe I'll find the right place for me soon.
Now on another note... some people in my opinion have been treating me lately like they own me or like I'm there girlfriend. WELL IM NOT SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT! I search for friendships and I seem to continuiously find people who want romances. Well I don't feel the same. I feel cornered, and I'm warning you all. I'm gonna act like a bitch, scratch you in the face, walk away and never look back. Is it right? No. But I'm scared and I won't take it anymore. (This is not specifically for one person this paragraph is generalized for a large group of people.) I'm gonna start thinking about me now. And if it hurts people in the meantime. I'm sorry, I really am. But I don't know what else to do. I have a demanding job I'm getting into, a car to pay for, bills to pay, god awful parents to deal with, I have to find a place to live, debts to pay, ways of life to abandon... I'm in a transistion to become independant from being dependant for so long. Something things need to change in me, I'm gonna do whats best for me. I apologize ahead of time to those of you I may hurt.
I've been feeling a lot of physical pain lately. Especially where my spine meets my brain. It scares me a bit. Sometimes my neck locks up to the point where I can't look to either side of me. Sometimes my head gets stuck leaning to the left. Sometimes my head feels likes its full of water. Sometimes I feel off balance. It worries me to say the least.
Well so much more bitching I'm capable of doing. But I'm too tired to go on with my selfish rambles. Your in luck. : ) Goodnight all.
-Boots