I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue...
Oh I am a total disaster aren't I.
No alcohol this week.
Spent too much money at Bluewater yesterday. Woe.
Came and and danced in my underwear to P! ATD while I got ready. I had much fun dancing in the dark.
Michelle and the Gemma arrived and we boogied out.
Saw Jim and Rory. Saw Sam and Emma. Then saw the usual suspects. It was quite bizarre. But I needed to pee. Then I decided that as no one was drinking Ferrari Jacks with me, but the two for £5.50 offer was still on, I had better buy two at a time and drink those.
After four, it went a bit blurry. The following events are probably not in the correct order. Perhaps they didn't even happen.
Everyone was calling me Avril again.
I know Gaz bought everyone vodka jelly shots. Then I couldn't have them because they are not veg. So he bought me some sambucas instead! Nice coloured jelly shots though. I was definitely making everyone touch the butterfly on my tshirt for good luck. Then 'Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly' actually came on and it was declared a sign. The music last night was a bit wank.
Mike also pushed me over in front of pretty much my whole year from Sheredes. By the way, why the fuck was everyone from my school in the pub anyway? It was like a bloody BTEC reunion for a start, bless my old dysfunctional dance class. So Mike bought me some sambucas to say sorry. I have a big bruise today.
I remember approaching Craig and saying 'Oh excuse me, I just have to say something. YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD. Glad I got that off my chest. Friends?'
I also carried Michelle around the pub bridal style, then when she tried to return the favour I ran off, into the garden, back in the other door, and straight into the DJ booth and six people.
We had some sambucas.
I was informed that Siobhan was there, so I ran round the whole pub, and bumped into CHRIS. AS IN CHRIS OF THE KNAVES. Luckily most of the fan club are too young to get into the pub. So of course me, playing it cool, did what everyone should. Looked at him and...RAN AWAY. Oh I should be put down. Luckily I found him later and started rambling about cheese or something. He looked scared. Met his friend Sav. I resisted the urge to ask him if his full name was Savlon. Sav was 23 yesterday.
Siobhan found me. We watched Barbie porn and a hampster moaning about his wife. She sent me the Barbie porn and Rachel found me amusing because I kept talking crap.
I made friends in the toilets again. I must stop doing this. It's weird and probably unhygenic.
Gaz bought me about 4 drinks. And some more sambuca.
Shelley and Paul came down. Shelley said Chris had asked if I could come back to Sav's. I told her she was making it up. I was informed later that she wasn't, that Chris really liked me, and had asked if she could bring me back with her. Oops.
Dev bought me some more sambucas.
Some time after this we left, and we went down the little alley with Gaz and I laid the bikes down and pressed some doorbells but it wasn't the same without Dev. I don't actually know where he went. I walked along the railing and spat all over the car park.
Let Mike out, he sadly pressed me up against the car and put his tongue in my mouth. Not a bad snogger but I certainly didn't want to do that. I won't be doing it again. Urgh.
Wayne called Gemma and I answered. He kept shouting and went 'I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO GEMMA NOW' so I said 'You are RUDE!' and hung up. I am glad you support this decision Gemma.
I am bored of typing.
No alcohol this week.
Spent too much money at Bluewater yesterday. Woe.
Came and and danced in my underwear to P! ATD while I got ready. I had much fun dancing in the dark.
Michelle and the Gemma arrived and we boogied out.
Saw Jim and Rory. Saw Sam and Emma. Then saw the usual suspects. It was quite bizarre. But I needed to pee. Then I decided that as no one was drinking Ferrari Jacks with me, but the two for £5.50 offer was still on, I had better buy two at a time and drink those.
After four, it went a bit blurry. The following events are probably not in the correct order. Perhaps they didn't even happen.
Everyone was calling me Avril again.
I know Gaz bought everyone vodka jelly shots. Then I couldn't have them because they are not veg. So he bought me some sambucas instead! Nice coloured jelly shots though. I was definitely making everyone touch the butterfly on my tshirt for good luck. Then 'Rip Out The Wings Of A Butterfly' actually came on and it was declared a sign. The music last night was a bit wank.
Mike also pushed me over in front of pretty much my whole year from Sheredes. By the way, why the fuck was everyone from my school in the pub anyway? It was like a bloody BTEC reunion for a start, bless my old dysfunctional dance class. So Mike bought me some sambucas to say sorry. I have a big bruise today.
I remember approaching Craig and saying 'Oh excuse me, I just have to say something. YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD. Glad I got that off my chest. Friends?'
I also carried Michelle around the pub bridal style, then when she tried to return the favour I ran off, into the garden, back in the other door, and straight into the DJ booth and six people.
We had some sambucas.
I was informed that Siobhan was there, so I ran round the whole pub, and bumped into CHRIS. AS IN CHRIS OF THE KNAVES. Luckily most of the fan club are too young to get into the pub. So of course me, playing it cool, did what everyone should. Looked at him and...RAN AWAY. Oh I should be put down. Luckily I found him later and started rambling about cheese or something. He looked scared. Met his friend Sav. I resisted the urge to ask him if his full name was Savlon. Sav was 23 yesterday.
Siobhan found me. We watched Barbie porn and a hampster moaning about his wife. She sent me the Barbie porn and Rachel found me amusing because I kept talking crap.
I made friends in the toilets again. I must stop doing this. It's weird and probably unhygenic.
Gaz bought me about 4 drinks. And some more sambuca.
Shelley and Paul came down. Shelley said Chris had asked if I could come back to Sav's. I told her she was making it up. I was informed later that she wasn't, that Chris really liked me, and had asked if she could bring me back with her. Oops.
Dev bought me some more sambucas.
Some time after this we left, and we went down the little alley with Gaz and I laid the bikes down and pressed some doorbells but it wasn't the same without Dev. I don't actually know where he went. I walked along the railing and spat all over the car park.
Let Mike out, he sadly pressed me up against the car and put his tongue in my mouth. Not a bad snogger but I certainly didn't want to do that. I won't be doing it again. Urgh.
Wayne called Gemma and I answered. He kept shouting and went 'I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO GEMMA NOW' so I said 'You are RUDE!' and hung up. I am glad you support this decision Gemma.
I am bored of typing.