No one Understands....
Why am I stuck in this time? Why am I stuck in this shithole town? I hate it here. I keep talking to my "friends". They must all be too stupid to understand me. I want to live the Bohemian Life, I want to be able to go anywhere and do anything without the limits. But in this day and age, you have no money? You can't do ANYTHING.
I hate my life, I hate this town, I hate this era. I just hate everything right now. I'm so tired of feeling like the walls are closing in, and that I'm gonna die an old cat lady in this horrible town and I'll never do anything I want to do. I'll never see the Eiffel Tower, I'll never see Stonehenge or London, or Dublin, or Spain. I'll never have the freedom or opportunity to photograph those places, or enjoy a meal there. I'm going to end up being just like all the losers that are stuck here. I'm gonna end up with an asshole who treats me like trash, squirt out like 5 kids I don't want, and be stuck with friends who continue to stab me in the back. I don't want that life, but I'm stuck here. I can't get a fucking job so I can save up and get the hell outta Dodge, I don't have the energy for this. I need a job, but I don't want one, and I don't even have a good excuse. Haha. That's the sad part. I have no excuses for not doing the things I'm not doing. I'm just stuck....I hate my life most of the time, and there's no one I can talk to about it, because no one else in my life thinks the way I do.
I don't want to settle, I want to be able to lay on my deathbed and regret NOTHING. If I'm stuck in this shitty town the rest of my life, I'll regret EVERYTHING. I want to say I saw the world, that I experienced everything I wanted to. That I met great people and that I enjoyed all kinds of foods and views.
And people like Biz make it harder. She is a bitch and a horrible person and she is reason 1 that I want out of here. She has backstabbed me over and over. She is always lying and stealing and using people. How can she dare to call me her "best friend" when all she does is use me for an excuse to run off and cheat on whatever boyfriend she's with this week? I don't think she's ever told me the truth, and I'm done with it. I can't put up with her shit anymore. I can't believe I've put up with it for this long...six years. I tried to believe there was good in her, there is no way there is any good in her. I've come to the conclusion, either she has no conscience, or no conscience AND no soul. No conscience, I'm completely sure of. I don't understand how one can be as she is and just not care. She lies to everyone around her and when she's stuck in a shitty situation, expects everyone she's lied to to give a crap. Guess what Bitch? No one does. No one trusts you. And I don't want to be your friend anymore. You have pushed me to make all of the worst choices in my life. I never should have listened to you. Thanks for ruining my life all the same.
I'm well aware I can't blame her for everything, but if I hadn't believed her to be a real friend who would help me out in times of trouble, when I couldn't make a decision on my own, I would never have listened. She said she was my best friend, so I thought her advice was the right choice. But what "friend" encourages another to cheat on the love of their life? What friend tries to get their "best friend" to try METH? What friend encourages shoplifting? What friend tears down their "best friend" by going on and on about how ugly their present boyfriend is to her when all of her "boyfriends" (aka recent fucks) are hideous as hell and beat on her? She never could see the good in any of my bfs, we may have had not so nice break ups, but at least MY relationships were based on the guys personality and they didn't beat on me. Her's have always been based on dick size, and they have almost all "beat on" her (so she says)...
I hate my life, I hate this town, I hate this era. I just hate everything right now. I'm so tired of feeling like the walls are closing in, and that I'm gonna die an old cat lady in this horrible town and I'll never do anything I want to do. I'll never see the Eiffel Tower, I'll never see Stonehenge or London, or Dublin, or Spain. I'll never have the freedom or opportunity to photograph those places, or enjoy a meal there. I'm going to end up being just like all the losers that are stuck here. I'm gonna end up with an asshole who treats me like trash, squirt out like 5 kids I don't want, and be stuck with friends who continue to stab me in the back. I don't want that life, but I'm stuck here. I can't get a fucking job so I can save up and get the hell outta Dodge, I don't have the energy for this. I need a job, but I don't want one, and I don't even have a good excuse. Haha. That's the sad part. I have no excuses for not doing the things I'm not doing. I'm just stuck....I hate my life most of the time, and there's no one I can talk to about it, because no one else in my life thinks the way I do.
I don't want to settle, I want to be able to lay on my deathbed and regret NOTHING. If I'm stuck in this shitty town the rest of my life, I'll regret EVERYTHING. I want to say I saw the world, that I experienced everything I wanted to. That I met great people and that I enjoyed all kinds of foods and views.
And people like Biz make it harder. She is a bitch and a horrible person and she is reason 1 that I want out of here. She has backstabbed me over and over. She is always lying and stealing and using people. How can she dare to call me her "best friend" when all she does is use me for an excuse to run off and cheat on whatever boyfriend she's with this week? I don't think she's ever told me the truth, and I'm done with it. I can't put up with her shit anymore. I can't believe I've put up with it for this long...six years. I tried to believe there was good in her, there is no way there is any good in her. I've come to the conclusion, either she has no conscience, or no conscience AND no soul. No conscience, I'm completely sure of. I don't understand how one can be as she is and just not care. She lies to everyone around her and when she's stuck in a shitty situation, expects everyone she's lied to to give a crap. Guess what Bitch? No one does. No one trusts you. And I don't want to be your friend anymore. You have pushed me to make all of the worst choices in my life. I never should have listened to you. Thanks for ruining my life all the same.
I'm well aware I can't blame her for everything, but if I hadn't believed her to be a real friend who would help me out in times of trouble, when I couldn't make a decision on my own, I would never have listened. She said she was my best friend, so I thought her advice was the right choice. But what "friend" encourages another to cheat on the love of their life? What friend tries to get their "best friend" to try METH? What friend encourages shoplifting? What friend tears down their "best friend" by going on and on about how ugly their present boyfriend is to her when all of her "boyfriends" (aka recent fucks) are hideous as hell and beat on her? She never could see the good in any of my bfs, we may have had not so nice break ups, but at least MY relationships were based on the guys personality and they didn't beat on me. Her's have always been based on dick size, and they have almost all "beat on" her (so she says)...