Kink Me! #31
Kink Me! #31
Closed to new prompts!Welcome to Kink Me! Merlin #31! :D
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"I met your sister," Merlin says to Arthur, when he turns up a day later.
Arthur has the grace to wince a little. "I heard," he says. "She likes you."
Merlin grimaces. "I'm beginning to feel like a family project."
They're on their way to the chippy. One good thing about Arthur: he hasn't once tried to drag Merlin anywhere posh or pretentious, though Merlin doesn't doubt that he's every bit as comfortable and accustomed to those sorts of places as Uther is. Arthur may occasionally eye a kebab with wary confusion, but so far at least, he's been game for slumming it.
Arthur is quiet for a moment. Then, "Yeah. I suppose I should pretend to be sorry I dragged you into all this," he says frankly. "But I'm not. My father is insane, but if he wasn't, I'd never have met you. And I can't be sorry I've met you."
"Arthur." Merlin clears his throat. He can feel himself blushing like a schoolboy, it's embarrassing.
"It's fine," says Arthur, sounding only a little strained. "I get it. I'm fresh out of the closet, and you've already met my father. It's like all the reasons not to want to date me ever, I know that. I wasn't trying to push."
Merlin feels like an arsehole, and he wants to kiss Arthur, and he wishes he'd never met anyone named Pendragon in his life.
"You barely know me," he points out, as evenly as he can.
Arthur rolls his eyes. "Don't be condescending," he says, and he's a fine one to talk, but Merlin doesn't want to pick a fight. "I know you more than well enough to like you. I don't know what it was like when you came out, but so far it hasn't affected my brain functions."
"It's not about when you came out of the closet," Merlin tries to explain. "Not really. I mean, it would be a problem if you were in the closet, because I'm not interested in being someone's dirty secret, but you're not in the closet, and I don't much care when or why you came out of it." He hesitates. "What I do care about is that it's all still so new to you. You weren't...fumbling around with boys in dark corners or sneaking off to gay clubs when no one was looking, Arthur. I never had the kind of epiphany you had, I always knew I was gay, but I've known enough people who have to understand that it's not just like flipping a switch. Things are going to be confusing for you for awhile. I...I like you. I think I could really like you. Enough that I'd rather hold out and maybe have a real chance at something later than be the starter model you learn on."
They're silent the rest of the way to the chippy, and don't speak again until they've got their food in hand and made it all the way to the park.
Then, suddenly, Arthur says, "No. That's stupid."
"Pardon?" Merlin is taken aback.
"I'm gay, not incompetent. Yes, I spent a long time not knowing exactly what I wanted, and I get where that could make you think I'm confused. But I'm not confused. The things I find attractive in a person, the things I'm looking for in a relationship - those things haven't changed just because I understand now that I'd like them to come attached to a dick. I'm inexperienced because I'm picky. I'm not saying you're the only man I could ever be attracted to, and if you're bound and determined not to date me I'm sure I'll survive, but I think I could really like you too, and I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to learn with someone I actually care about just because I'm gay now."
Merlin stares helplessly at him for a very long moment, and Arthur stares back, all scowly and golden in the sunlight, and Merlin's chest feels tight and fluttery and he's a little breathless in spite of himself.
"I am seriously so fucked," he realises distantly, and chucks his untouched chips in the nearest bin.
-cont'd-
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