Kink Me! #26
Kink Me! #26
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Welcome to Kink Me! Merlin #26!
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Startled, Merlin took a step backward, his knees buckling slightly. His eyes took in his King's fluttering eyelids, and his mind and limbs battled over the urgent desire to run away. Eventually, his limbs won out. "Sire."
"What're you . . . " Arthur blinked a few times, then tried to raise himself onto his elbows. With a groan, he fell back onto the mattress.
Merlin immediately cam forward and placed a gentle hand on Arthur's shoulders, his face burning as he avoided his friend's gaze. "I don't think you should move, Sire."
"St'p c'lling me tha'."
"Sire?"
Arthur groaned, in exasperation this time. "St'p that. Wasn't your fault."
"But-- " Merlin's mind was reeling. Arthur hadn't been awake before now, had he? How could he know -- not that he knew, obviously, or he wouldn't be telling Merlin he wasn't to blame, because he was, very much so, in fact, but still, how did he know what happened?
Arthur frowned up at him. "You dis'ppeared. 'N entire day, Merlin." His brow furrowed. "You weren't in the tavern, were you?"
"What? No. Why would you-- " Merlin risked a glance at Gaius, then sighed. "No, I wasn't."
Arthur nodded, looking displeased. "I woke up and you weren't here," he said, looking more awake now, and sounding it, too. "Gaius told me . . . I'm sorry I didn't realize . . . I thought you were acting . . . Morgana didn't hurt you, did she?"
Merlin thought about ropes and ice cold water, and quickly shook his head. "No. No, she didn't." Except she'd made him hurt Arthur, in so doing hurting him in the worst possible way, slashing at his heart and soul, abusing everything he stood for. "I'm so sorry, Arthur."
Arthur was still frowning. "For what? Getting captured?" He pointed a finger at Merlin. "Never do that to me again, Merlin. You hear me?" And then he was gasping again, clutching at his abdomen. "And now you're getting me agitated." A small sigh. "Idiot."
Merlin shook his head. Arthur didn't understand. "I should have fought Morgana off. I should have resisted the creature's influence."
Arthur poked at his blanket. "D'you think I can eat something? Gaius didn't say, but I'm starving."
Merlin frowned. "Arthur."
"You wouldn't happen to have any food on you, would you?"
"Arthur."
"Of course not. If you had any food, you wouldn't look as skinny as you do."
"Arthur."
"What?"
Merlin took a small step backward, startled by the force of Arthur's exclamation. "I just -- I was just saying-- "
"What do you want me to say, Merlin?" Arthur was looking positively annoyed now, a hint of frustration behind his words as well. "That getting enchanted is a hanging offense?" He let out a dry, humorless laugh. "It's a good thing I wasn't enchanted by Sophia, then. And it's a small blessing the goblin wasn't able to control Gaius. No, only idiots like yourself get themselves into situations such as these." He let his head fall back onto the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "I wouldn't expect you to be able to resist a sorceress, Merlin. Magic is dangerous. It is evil. All you and I can do . . . " He turned his head to the side and looked at Merlin, blue eyes wide and earnest, "is fight it to the best of our abilities. And you've . . . well, you haven't done an awful job so far."
Merlin swallowed. Here Arthur was, attempting to cheer him up. But he didn't know, couldn't understand. Merlin was Emrys, he was supposed to be stronger than everyone with magic out there, stronger than anyone who wished harm on Arthur or Camelot. Merlin was supposed to be the strongest of them all. How could he have fallen victim to Morgana's tricks and spells? And why, after all these years, had he still not succeeded at making Arthur realize that magic wasn't evil -- that magic was neutral, a force that could be used for good or evil. Everything he did, he did for Arthur and Albion. But he kept failing them, kept failing their destiny. Arthur didn't know how much Merlin had failed him, he couldn't possibly understand.
And, he suddenly realized, his heart heavy with the weight of guilt, regret and anguish, as long as Arthur remained unaware of Merlin's biggest secret, he would never understand.
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I loved the angsty bit about Arthur never understanding, while the fic is sorta "nice" because he's trying to comfort Merlin and tell him it's not his fault. Somehow, this Arthur is near to canon!Arthur in 4x6.
Great fic. Thank you!
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Yeah, I was going for "nice" but not "really nice" because I don't think the boys can get to that point without Arthur knowing about Merlin's magic. They won't be able to understand and fully trust each other until the secret comes out. Glad that came across, and glad you liked it!
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