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"You're still in the beginning stages," she replied, laying out her movies. "I thought we might start with something lighter than Babette, for now."
They watched Belle du Jour and he felt marginally better knowing he still found tiny blonde women very, very hot.
"Now tell me, what's wrong?" Morgana said after the movie, over tea, and he felt so miserable he actually told her.
"I'm a poof," he mumbled. "You would think I'd have noticed before now, but I always liked girls and now there's this boy--"
She listened patiently, and for that he forgave her for thinking over it for nearly five minutes and making him feel even more stupid than he had before.
"The way I see it, if you really need to put yourself into a category, the term bisexual is there for a reason." She got up and put away their cups. "It covers all kinds of preferences. You don't have to join a pride group because you find yourself attracted to one man, Arthur, Jesus. You're always so literal, no wonder you never got into reading before."
"I don't really care about that," he said carefully, trying to work out exactly what he was thinking. Introspection was not one of his favourite things. "If I want to shag boys, I don't care what other people think and I don't care if I'm in a category. But I don't-- know how to do this. And I don't like not knowing how to do things."
"Poor Arthur, who's always had it easy," Morgana laughed. "Here's how you do it: ask him out."
"Oh, like you've ever had to go begging for dates either!" he exclaimed indignantly.
Morgana smacked him on the arm. "You know that stupid thing they always tell strong-willed girls, about how men are intimidated by beautiful, smart women?" He nodded. "It's true. I've never been asked on a date. Boys like you expect people to ask them out and the boys I fancy think I'd never like them. It's not just me being stuck on myself; I've asked them."
"I'd certainly never date you," Arthur agreed. "But back to my personal crisis for a second. I can't just ask him out. He'll say no without even giving me a chance-- we have nothing in common."
"You don't even know him, Arthur. Reading his books and watching his movies doesn't mean you know him. At least talk to him. Let him know you read his recommendations. As someone who's been recommending things to people fruitlessly for many years, I can tell you it will probably make him very, very happy."
And with that, she left him to his new/old music and his new/old books and his new/old brain. He left her a voice-mail that would wake her up at three in the morning because she always forgot to silence the irritating new-message alarm, and felt much better.
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He was surrounded by boxes full of books, and held a scanner in one hand, clicking it on the back of each book and stacking them untidily all over the counter. "Hold on just a second," he said, and Arthur waited patiently, watching him. He had his glasses off again and wore a floppy beanie hat over his hair, corduroys, and a long-sleeved t-shirt under a short one with a bird on it. He kept wiping at his nose with a tissue and coughing like a dying man. It should have put Arthur off, really, but he was somewhat disgusted to discover it didn't, not one bit.
"Oh, hello," Merlin said, surprised, when he looked up. He smiled brightly. "Your friend came back and got his books. I hope that was all right; I was pretty sure they were his and not yours."
"Right, yeah, that's fine," Arthur said, smiling back helplessly. "He wasn't too pleased with me for forgetting them."
Actually Leon had sighed a patient sigh and asked him if he had got a contact high from the marijuana smoke on Market Street, but that was neither here nor there.
"Did your sister like the book?" Merlin went back to scanning the books in front of him, but raised his eyebrows at Arthur to let him know he wasn't ignoring him.
"She already had it," Arthur confessed. He took a deep breath and plunged into it. "So I read it instead."
Merlin stopped scanning and tilted his head, giving Arthur a small, considering half-smile. "You did."
"Yeah." He nodded, hoping he was pronouncing everything correctly. "And I liked it. I like Borges. So far, I mean, I've only read the one thing. And I wondered if there was anything else you might recommend."
"I have a shelf over there," Merlin said, waving vaguely at the wall. "What did you like about the book?"
"Mythical beasts are always interesting, and he wasn't afraid to mix in some silliness. I like silly things," Arthur replied. "I read the books on your shelf already."
Merlin made a move to push his glasses up before he realised he wasn't wearing them, and looked flustered. "Oh," he said. "Well."
"I came in last Monday and Gwen pointed them out to me. I'm done, though, so I need some new reading material." He paused. Merlin had gone back to scanning, but his cheeks were a little pink and he kept looking up at Arthur from under his lashes, curiously. "I wondered if you could tell me which Gabriel Garcia Marquez book you think is the best."
Merlin lit up, putting down the scanner again and going to the literature section. Arthur followed him. "I like his short stories best, but you should really just read One Hundred Years of Solitude first if you haven't already,"he said, pulling down a copy.
"I bought it last week," Arthur told him, leaning against the bookcase. "I bought all the Marquez. Why do your Converse have black spots on the tips?"
Merlin looked down at his feet quickly and up again. "They're not Converse. They're called Blackspot. They look like Converse but they're made of hemp and are Fair Trade," he said. "The black spot is from where they 'kick corporations in the brand.'"
His lips twitched, and when he looked up at Arthur they both laughed.
"I know it's ridiculous," Merlin said when he had stopped but was still smiling, rubbing one shoe over the other and covering the spot. "But I've had them for ages and I really like the company."
They were silent for a second. Arthur tried to figure out what to say next.
"Do you want--" he began, just as Merlin said "But I think--" Merlin gestured for him to continue, and he wiped his hands as discreetly as possible on his jeans and began again. "Do you want--would you want to talk about books, sometime? Over coffee?"
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"After you get out of work this evening?" He could barely breathe through alternating relief and terror. I have no idea what I'm doing, he thought, and it was exhilarating. He always knew exactly what he was doing.
Merlin's face fell a little. "I have to be in the studio every night this week," he said. "What about tomorrow during the day?"
"I'm free after my second class," Arthur said, and wanted to jump and run around the shop, he felt so giddy and thrilled. "Studio? Are you an art student?"
"Yeah, in my third year, and about to do a show soon." He stretched to put the book back up on the shelf. "So-- say about two tomorrow, at the Muddy Buzz?"
"Yeah, yeah, two's good," he said, nodding and nodding well beyond what was probably normal. "I'll have read some of the short stories by then, anyway."
Merlin gave him a shy, slow smile, and then held his sleeve up to his nose. "Euurgh," he grumbled, going back over to the desk to get some tissue. "Sorry, have a cold."
"That's all right," Arthur told him. "I'll let you get back to work. See you tomorrow."
He waited until footy practise to let everything out. The boys protested, but he was the captain and if he needed to work off some energy, he was bloody well going to do it.
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Off to read then.
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I love how besotted Arthur is and that he reads all these (fantastic <3) books to impress Merlin. And Merlin wearing glasses is just... GUH
Thank you, dearest anon author! This mousie will be very delighted to find a notification about an update in her inbox! <3
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I love you.
This.
Perfect.
Thank you!!!
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I'm in love with your fic. Take your time writing this because I'd like to spread the pleasure of reading it for as long as possible. ♥
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