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Arthur crossed his arms in front of his chest. "If you want to gloat, you can just leave again."
"I just wanted to see for myself," she said, circling around Arthur looking at him from every angle. "This is amazing. And you don't look half-bad. Who would have thought?"
Arthur glared at her.
"All right, all right," Morgana said with a sigh. She went to the door and motioned Gwen into the room. "Uther asked me to bring you some clothes. He thought it would be more appropriate."
"I don't need any clothes, I can wear mine."
"Sure you can." She raised her eyebrows.
True, his clothes were a bit tight around the chest and hips and too wide in the waist, but he could manage. Despite feeling more comfortable in his body, he had not yet thought so far as to the possibility of wearing dresses.
Morgana huffed, when he refused to say anything else. "We'll just leave them here and you can do whatever you want with them."
She nodded at Gwen, who put the dresses on Arthur's bed. Gwen smiled at Arthur before the both of them left.
Arthur did not look at the dresses on his bed.
***
"Why are you so calm?"
Arthur glanced at Merlin, who magically adjusted some of Arthur's clothes to fit his new curves better.
It had been a few days since he had been magicked into a woman and even though Uther ordered the kingdom turned upside down to find a cure, it could be a while until they found something to turn him back. For that reason alone it seemed logical to change at least some of his own clothes.
Although he'd caught himself trailing his fingertips over the fine cloth of Morgana's dresses a few times, he still had to try one of them on.
"Do I look calm to you?" Arthur said, putting his sword down. After being cooped up in his room for the last few days he was anything but calm. Uther hadn't allowed him to go outside lest anyone should see him.
Instead he had to be content with practicing in his room.
"You know what I mean. You seem quite unruffled with the situation."
Arthur turned back to his sword practice. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, I'd be pretty damn freaked out if someone had turned me into a woman!" Merlin shot back.
Arthur shrugged, lowering his sword again. "Maybe I already exhausted my freak-out quota the day I found out my idiot manservant is a powerful warlock."
"Oi!" Merlin sobered immediately, a guilty look on his face. He fiddled with the clothes in his hands. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could have done anything to prevent it."
"It's not your fault," Arthur said, walking over to Merlin. He ran his hand over Merlin's arm and ended up covering Merlin's hand with his own.
"I know." Merlin jerked back and Arthur tried not to feel hurt at the loss of contact. "I still wish I could have done something."
"Me too." Arthur wasn't so sure he really meant it.
***
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"And I will go back to training, father," Arthur replied, his voice as firm as he could make it. "I can't stay stuck in my own room forever."
"We will find a cure." The "and kill the sorcerer responsible" wasn't said, but heavily implied. Never mind that Merlin had dealt with that already, but Uther didn't need to know that.
"It's already been two weeks. How much longer until I'm allowed to go back outside? A month? Two months?"
"As long as it takes!"
Arthur choked down a laugh. "I will go back to training and you can't do anything about it," he said as calmly as he could.
"You will not do such a thing."
"You can't stop me!" With that he whirled around and left. The guards didn't stop him, too stunned at his appearance. If he had worn Morgana's dress, his leave would have been even more dramatic, he thought.
Merlin, who had waited for him outside the King's chambers, hastily followed him as he made his way down the corridor. "Didn't go to well, huh?"
Arthur didn't reply, there wasn't much to say anyway.
"What will you do?"
"What do you think?"
"Right."
***
Going back to train with the knights went better then he thought it would. After they'd established that a) he really was Prince Arthur and b) he still knew how to fight even the most skeptical of them--
("I will not fight a woman!"
"Suit yourself, Leon, but I will fight you," he said and charged.)
--changed their minds. At least no one brought it up in front of him anymore.
For all of being treated so differently he also felt more real. His female body felt so much more natural to him. It sounded like a cliche, but the world around him did seem sharper and with every breath he took the air tasted sweeter.
The only downside was his changed relationship with Merlin. Outward, it didn't seem so different, but in private the tension between them was almost palpable. They hadn't kissed, much less touched each other ever since he got turned into a woman.
Whenever he reached out, Merlin would step back or find something else to do, all the time babbling about who knew what as if nothing had changed.
It was frustrating, to say the least, and it hurt more than he wanted to admit.
Morgana on the other hand, seemed to be delighted at the prospect of having a "sister." She was also the only one who didn't seem to treat him differently, aside from her trying to bully him into wearing a dress.
Then, after Arthur had almost started to think he would remain a woman for the rest of his life, Merlin burst into his chambers.
"Arthur! I found a cure!"
And Arthur's world collapsed around himself.
***
The reversal of the original spell involved a foul smelling tonic--
("Do I want to know what's in there?"
"Probably not.")
--and elaborate incantations from Merlin. It worked like a charm. Arthur fell unconscious and when he woke up, he had all the right (wrong!) male bits again.
They told Uther that the effect of the spell must have faded, which Uther readily believed. They could have told him anything, he was beyond happy to have his son back. Merlin, who was endlessly pleased with himself, and everyone else was happy, too.
Arthur forced himself to smile and desperately tried to hide his shaking hands. He should have been happy as well, but the sense of wrongness vibrated under his skin, making him feel sick to his stomach.
The sound of his own heartbeat beat loud in his ears.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
***
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Now that he knew what it felt like to be comfortable and at home in his body, he couldn't stop wanting it back. He wanted it so bad, everything hurt.
"What's wrong?" Merlin asked.
They were lying on Arthur's bed, wrapped around each other. As much as it had hurt when Merlin had constantly pulled away from his female body (his real body!), his touch was now the only thing that held the want somewhat at bay.
Arthur pressed his face into the crook of Merlin's neck. "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing."
Arthur sighed. "You're right, it's not nothing." He extracted himself from Merlin's arms and sat up, facing away. "It just doesn't matter."
"It matters to me!"
"Really?" Arthur almost yelled. "It matters to you? Tell me, Merlin, would you be here right now if I were still in a woman's body?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Merlin sat up as well.
"Because... because this body here is so wrong and being a woman was so right and all I want is to stop pretending being what I'm not." His heart hammered in his chest, so loud he wondered if the whole castle could hear it.
"And what are you?" Merlin whispered. They sat facing each other, Merlin holding his hand tightly in his own.
Arthur squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm... her. I want to be her again."
"Oh, Arthur!"
Merlin wrapped his arms around him. "Sshh, it's going to be okay."
Arthur wished that were true.
***
A few days later, coming back from the training grounds, Arthur stopped in his tracks when he saw Merlin standing in the middle of the room, beaming at him.
Arthur frowned. "What have you done now?" he said, starting to pull off his armour.
Merlin reached him and started to help him with his armour and clothes. "I've done some research."
"Illegal magical research, you mean?"
Merlin rolled his eyes. "You want to hear it or not?"
Arthur gestured for Merlin to continue.
"So. I did some research," this time Arthur rolled his eyes, "and I found this spell. Well, it's actually a modification of the spell I used to turn you back. I think it'd work to temporarily change a person's sex."
"What are you saying?"
Merlin's hands stilled and he looked directly into Arthur's eyes. "We'd have to be careful, of course. But I think I could turn you into a woman and change you back again when there's need for it."
"You can do that?"
Merlin nodded. "I can. We could start slow, maybe turn you at night. And later, maybe we can do it when we're on a hunting trip."
The blood rushed in his ears and his stomach was knotted tight. It couldn't be that easy, could it? "What about you?"
"What about me?" Merlin frowned.
"You weren't exactly... happy with me being female."
"What?"
Arthur looked down at Merlin's hands resting on his chest. "You never touched me."
"I...," Merlin started. He moved his right hand up Arthur's chest until it rested on Arthur's neck, slowly rubbing his thumb over the pulse point. "Gods, Arthur, I wanted to so much. I just didn't think you would want me to."
Arthur leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. "Idiot," he said, chuckling. The tight knot in is stomach vanished.
"Yeah. For once I agree with you."
Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but Merlin was faster, pressing their lips together. They kissed open mouthed and urgently.
***
It was another few days before they tried the transformation spell the first time. They locked themselves into Arthur's room. It worked without a problem.
Arthur looked at herself in the mirror. Merlin stood behind her, lacing up the dress. It was one of the dresses Morgana had left for her. It was a deep red, Pendragon red, with long flowing sleeves. Arthur had never returned it.
"Merlin," she whispered, "thank you."
Merlin smiled and dropped a kiss to Arthur's neck.
"Anything for you, my lady."
Arthur smiled back. This was right.
End.
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That was lovely, sad and sweet.
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