Little bugs dropping hints
Little bugs, little bugs flying around giving advice to those who are willing to listen. I can hear the bugs and the advice is the best advice know its just convincing my conscious that I should not feel guilty about things in which I have no control over and that spliting friends is not my fault for if I they were true friends a girl would not be able to come between them. That and if they were good friends the one would have backed off if he had no interest and let the friend with the interest persue though he knew her first. Instead it became more of a have her and I won't let you have her kinda of thing. One, I'm not property and I have feelings. I'm not someone to be used as a way of making others jealous. I have feelings Damn it! SO now im in the middle between friends in the relationship if thats what you can call it to the one who thinks that im a way to make others jealous cause other people other then him and his friend want to be with me. Then there is the friend who I never expected to have feelings for; just thought that it would be fun to romp around with that i have extreme feelings for. When I seen him I knew that there was something there I just thought that it was lust. ( since im a a sex addict - proper term is hyper-sexual- lusting after males and females had become a normal part of my life) But he is different and I can see that now. It was not lust that I felt it was love. True love. Which despite efforts to ignore that feeling, that love is growing like a wild brush fire. Which is ironic cause the only time i feel relief is when im with him. By the way did I mention that hes a fire fighter!