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the innocence mission > bright as yellowfoggy hot sickness i slept after you left or i left.. i hung up first right? i always do. thats my job. guess whaaat... right this moment im being productive for the first time all day. starting now - my homework. i think if i finish and if i sleep again ill be okay becuase i am okay... i ate dry dry dry
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..ahaHA.
thats so simple. yet... really interesting. i mean, as fascinated as i was with genetics in biology - and as obvious as that should be, its still amazing how the tiniest event can dictate the existence of an entire life.
i read what you had to say about regreting, and i agree.
. sometimes i think im just too lazy to regret the past. taking on the "whats done is done" attitude because obsessing over whats already happened is too much. but re-thinking that... accepting things would often actually be harder.
heh - i knew you were going to bring up the bus driver.
i used to be like that. id say all the time that "i love making friends!" (which sounds really retarded) - and its still true. i love learning about people and interacting with people in general. but im stupid because i dont want to give back. its harder now to carry on a conversation because id rather just listen to someone's every thought and never have to worry about replying. its not being shy. maybe just laziness again.
seeing you talk with people like that, kind of randomly and openly, ... it makes me want to be able to again.
on the way to bubble tea once in the winter. i turned around looking for you and you were walking farther behind everyone, with an old lady. it was only a few minutes and then she left and you told us about how she was from new brunswick or newfoundland or someplace.. in the maritimes... different things about her and that shes nice.
it hurt to know that if it had been me she passed by, thats all that would have happened.
smile.
and pass.
and none of us would have known of her at all.
this isnt making sense. i just cant describe... how wrong you are - when you say things like, "im so scared im hurting you". because you arent.
you make me want to be more like i used to be.
you make me want to be a better person. (*ahem*asgoodasitgets)
and... if im randomly sad or moody. thats part of me being myself... not brought on by you - if anything it happens a lot LESS often because of you.
you dont tell me about yourself so much anymore.
you tell me about what your familys up to, or you ask whats wrong with me...
but how are you?
stressed or sad at all? bored?
i think sometimes you must be. [bored]
& sunday...
not much. yes, work. art class.
what did you have in mind?
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