Jun 18, 2009 15:10
I really don't want to write this entry due to the emotional storm that was work yesterday. The day began fine enough. It just went downhill when I got to work and discovered that I had no clients! 4 out of my last 5 shifts at this particular location began with the knowledge that I had 0 clients booked. I know I am fortunate to just have a job regardless of the fact that if I make no money for the spa, I get paid $7.25 an hour, but my performance has been severely lacking. Not just from personal opinion, but from a professional one as well. When I was hired by this Equinox I was told by the general manager of the gym that they expect their therapists to be booked at least 40% of the time. I thought this was absolutely fair and reasonable. However, considering how I was treated at my home spa, I was scared that I would once again be robbed of a fair chance and a fair evaluation.
To give anyone not familiar the backstory, I started working at Equinox in March and was given a couple of shifts. The first month was pretty freaking slow, but I was told that it's expected for things to be slow for me since I'm new and male therapists have to work harder. Anyway, at about the 6 week mark, my performance was evaluated and I was told that, in addition to economic reasons, I would have to cut my hours. Again, since I was new and male, I didn't think this was cool. Of course, I told them that I didn't think that was reasonable, but told them that if they had to, they could cut an hour or two from my Tuesday shift. A week after that discussion, I was told that I'd be tried out with some new shifts that cut Tuesday shift 3 hours but given 4 hours on Thursday. I tried this for one week when they decided to cut my entire Tuesday shift.
So when I found out that my spa manager wanted to talk to me in order to talk about my performance, I got really nervous. Talking about it now still makes me queasy. Even my boss said I looked like I was going to hurl. Sometimes I forget how naturally expressive I am, especially when I don't want to be.
When I went up to his office to finally talk with him, I was still hella nervous, but I think I was relatively composed. He began objectively, saying that most things were fine, but (and it was a big but that I was expecting) I was not performing to the level that they want their therapists to be at. According to their numbers, I am booked only 25% of the time. I was asked what I thought was wrong and what I felt could be improved upon. I was pretty open with my feelings and told him that I didn't really know. I initially thought it was because I was new and that I was male, but as I've grown to be less busy over the last month, other new therapists (even newer than me), both male and female, are getting busier. We both brought up that everyone realizes the fact that I'm a hard worker with the fact that the GM, the assistant GM, my boss, and the trainers have seen me constantly do chair massage when I'm not scheduled for a session at the spa as a way of promoting myself and the spa.
It was a tough process for me, but my boss opened himself to me for any help I needed to make me a better and more productive therapist. We pretended as if we didn't know each other and I performed my usual intake, did a half hour massage, and an outtake with him that he evaluated and discussed with me afterwards. I changed things a bit by trying to sell more and I was nervous so had a hard time grounding myself during the massage and forget the fact that I was being evaluated, but otherwise, I was my usual self. He said I have the touch, but he made a few good suggestions, especially about my demeanor and what to say during intakes and outtakes, that I found very helpful. He also made a bunch of things about my massage that were hard to swallow, especially since whenever I'm evaluated, one person tells me something different from the previous person. I told him that these differences of opinion bothered me and leave me not sure at what to do, but I now realize that I will just have to be myself and when I have to, I will adapt. For instance, he told me to use my thumbs more and not to be so afraid of fucking them up. I ended up having a session later which I tried to do that, but it made my thumbs uncomfortable since they hyperextend. I will use my thumbs more in terms of evaluation, but probably not nearly as much as he suggested. My thumbs just can't handle it.
Anyway, I had a session after working on my boss and that was a difficult session as my energy wasn't quite right. The client seemed to still enjoy the massage as he wanted my card for his wife. Also fortunately, I ended the shift with another client, so the day ended up working out thankfully. And my boss, while a bit of a hardass seems to be a really nice guy as he wants me to be better and more productive and wants to give me the fair chance that I don't think I've gotten from Equinox until yesterday. He said that he wants to work with me and is willing to work with me every week so we can all reach our goals. I told him straight up that I was afraid of being fired and he said that he'd rather invest his time in working with me over trying to find another therapist, so I can relax a little. In fact, he told me to relax more and have fun and not be so serious. I guess I can be now that I now have a chance to improve and I now feel more secure that I will not be canned anytime soon.