Life is bad
I am in a period of badness lately.
I feel like I am trapped. I am stuck. I don't want to go to school anymore. I'm sick of it. I don't even want to go to PSU at this point. I am doing really bad in some of my classes, and I am just so sick of school. I am sick of being around people, surrounded by these complete douchebags. I really don't enjoy being around people lately.
But on the same token, I can't get a job. I can get an application in fine, but then, they never call back. So everyone tells me to call them! So I do, but then they get pissed off and tell me they aren't hiring. God dammit. No one wants to hire me, and if they do, they don't even want me anyways. Maybe I just am not cut out for the work force. If I could earn money from home, I would... That'd be great. But the only way you can get a job these days is if you know someone who knows a guy who knows a guy, and I literally know no one because I'm such an introverted fucktard.
So I'm thinking of trying online schooling, but I'm not sure about. Partly because I can't do things like Math without a real teacher there to help me out, the other part being I have trouble keeping myself undistracted at home, where I'm surrounded by tons of shit I could be doing instead of homework. I've tried it before, in high school, and for classes like Science, history, etc, I did REALLY good and could tear through the class in like three days. But things like Math, where you have conceptual logic to go through, I struggled with, and couldn't complete one section of.
My thought process is, is if I got a netbook or something, I could go downstairs and do homework with my mom, since she does online schooling as well. First of all, netbooks can't really game and stuff, so I'd be far less distracted. I cannot do anything on my main PC since I have so many games and stuff to do and watch.
Maybe a schedule would help out a bit.
Ugh, I don't know. Help!
I feel like I'm slipping away. I want to burst, just want to cry every day. I feel like all of my friends are leaving me. Some of them never talk to me anymore at all. Sigh. I'm not surprised, I feel like I'm pretty bad to talk to. I'm not sure why anyone would like me in the first place.
And lately, I have periods of utter nervousness. When I was typing my paper, I felt like I was going to die, my heart was beating so fast and I had this feeling in my stomach like something was wrong, when nothing really was. I just feel edgy, depressed, nervous constantly. I am losing so much sleep. I can't get anything done anymore.
I just want to do nothing but play fighting games all day now.
I feel like I am trapped. I am stuck. I don't want to go to school anymore. I'm sick of it. I don't even want to go to PSU at this point. I am doing really bad in some of my classes, and I am just so sick of school. I am sick of being around people, surrounded by these complete douchebags. I really don't enjoy being around people lately.
But on the same token, I can't get a job. I can get an application in fine, but then, they never call back. So everyone tells me to call them! So I do, but then they get pissed off and tell me they aren't hiring. God dammit. No one wants to hire me, and if they do, they don't even want me anyways. Maybe I just am not cut out for the work force. If I could earn money from home, I would... That'd be great. But the only way you can get a job these days is if you know someone who knows a guy who knows a guy, and I literally know no one because I'm such an introverted fucktard.
So I'm thinking of trying online schooling, but I'm not sure about. Partly because I can't do things like Math without a real teacher there to help me out, the other part being I have trouble keeping myself undistracted at home, where I'm surrounded by tons of shit I could be doing instead of homework. I've tried it before, in high school, and for classes like Science, history, etc, I did REALLY good and could tear through the class in like three days. But things like Math, where you have conceptual logic to go through, I struggled with, and couldn't complete one section of.
My thought process is, is if I got a netbook or something, I could go downstairs and do homework with my mom, since she does online schooling as well. First of all, netbooks can't really game and stuff, so I'd be far less distracted. I cannot do anything on my main PC since I have so many games and stuff to do and watch.
Maybe a schedule would help out a bit.
Ugh, I don't know. Help!
I feel like I'm slipping away. I want to burst, just want to cry every day. I feel like all of my friends are leaving me. Some of them never talk to me anymore at all. Sigh. I'm not surprised, I feel like I'm pretty bad to talk to. I'm not sure why anyone would like me in the first place.
And lately, I have periods of utter nervousness. When I was typing my paper, I felt like I was going to die, my heart was beating so fast and I had this feeling in my stomach like something was wrong, when nothing really was. I just feel edgy, depressed, nervous constantly. I am losing so much sleep. I can't get anything done anymore.
I just want to do nothing but play fighting games all day now.