Your wisdom is always appreciated, your Majesty. You are correct in that neither Frank nor I have had the best experiences with relationships in the past, but neither had I looked at our relationship in quite the way you did - I never thought that what I have with Frank now is already quite a big step for us both. Perhaps because it happened so naturally.
For me, and I think for him, marriage is more than just a bond in the eyes of American law - it also has emotional significance, symbolizing the willingness of both parties to bond themselves to one another, exclusively, for eternity. I always thought that was what had Frank hesitating, because to make such an investment requires an immense committment, and he already gave so much of himself to Maria - I don't know if he was willing or able to make that committment a second time. You and I both know how much he loved her, how much he loves her still. He's said repeatedly that no one could come close to her. While I know that's how it should be, it places a certain... not so much anxiety, but certainly a measure of self-doubt on me, and one of the reasons I hesitate to speak so openly about this to him as I am with you. I am not entirely sure what I would do if it turned out my fears had a sensible base.
Commitment may be the issue here, but perhaps not in the way you are suggesting. Frank is no stranger to making a commitment, and when he does, he does it with an absolute determination that is admirable. He does not do so lightly. However, he first made his commitment to Maria, and this was taken from him by force. Now, he's made his commitment to his perceived duty - the crusade he has undertaken. His dedication to this has been unwavering and complete. For better or for worse, it is a commitment he has sworn to.
The problem may arise from the truth that the life he leads is in no way amenable to creating a safe future for a family. You have proven that you can protect yourself with ferocity, but were you to become pregnant and birth a child, as he may hope for at some point, it would require him to scale back his commitment to his cause in order to protect you both during your more vulnerable stages, and to be a devoted father that will be able to give freely of himself emotionally, to be unburdened by the dark world he currently lives and works within.
He may indeed be willing to commit himself to you as he did to Maria, but doing so would be at cross-purposes with his dedication to his work - a problem he did not have when Maria was alive. He may view his crusade as the greater good for the world at large, and he may feel that abandoning it to renew his own connection with humanity, with you and through you, while better for his own salvation and personal well-being, would be selfish of him in the greater scheme.
I cannot speak to your desires for matrimony, but I cannot help but note that your current arrangement is the most practical and sound for the two of you to continue your respective lines of work. You are both fiercely independent people who can be with one another to help each other relieve the stress that your activities place upon you. If you have no inclination to leave your trade, perhaps it is best that the subject of marriage not even be approached and your status quo maintained, as it seems to have granted you both a measure of happiness that is too often denied you. But if that commitment and emotional declaration is something you long for... things may have to change drastically, and you will have to be prepared to accept this.
Regardless, do not doubt yourself. If you doubt anything, let it be the situation, the emotions involved, and perhaps the future, but never let the memory of his first beloved ever give you cause to doubt yourself. And know that should you ever need sanctuary, you are welcome in Wakanda.
For me, and I think for him, marriage is more than just a bond in the eyes of American law - it also has emotional significance, symbolizing the willingness of both parties to bond themselves to one another, exclusively, for eternity. I always thought that was what had Frank hesitating, because to make such an investment requires an immense committment, and he already gave so much of himself to Maria - I don't know if he was willing or able to make that committment a second time. You and I both know how much he loved her, how much he loves her still. He's said repeatedly that no one could come close to her. While I know that's how it should be, it places a certain... not so much anxiety, but certainly a measure of self-doubt on me, and one of the reasons I hesitate to speak so openly about this to him as I am with you. I am not entirely sure what I would do if it turned out my fears had a sensible base.
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Commitment may be the issue here, but perhaps not in the way you are suggesting. Frank is no stranger to making a commitment, and when he does, he does it with an absolute determination that is admirable. He does not do so lightly. However, he first made his commitment to Maria, and this was taken from him by force. Now, he's made his commitment to his perceived duty - the crusade he has undertaken. His dedication to this has been unwavering and complete. For better or for worse, it is a commitment he has sworn to.
The problem may arise from the truth that the life he leads is in no way amenable to creating a safe future for a family. You have proven that you can protect yourself with ferocity, but were you to become pregnant and birth a child, as he may hope for at some point, it would require him to scale back his commitment to his cause in order to protect you both during your more vulnerable stages, and to be a devoted father that will be able to give freely of himself emotionally, to be unburdened by the dark world he currently lives and works within.
He may indeed be willing to commit himself to you as he did to Maria, but doing so would be at cross-purposes with his dedication to his work - a problem he did not have when Maria was alive. He may view his crusade as the greater good for the world at large, and he may feel that abandoning it to renew his own connection with humanity, with you and through you, while better for his own salvation and personal well-being, would be selfish of him in the greater scheme.
I cannot speak to your desires for matrimony, but I cannot help but note that your current arrangement is the most practical and sound for the two of you to continue your respective lines of work. You are both fiercely independent people who can be with one another to help each other relieve the stress that your activities place upon you. If you have no inclination to leave your trade, perhaps it is best that the subject of marriage not even be approached and your status quo maintained, as it seems to have granted you both a measure of happiness that is too often denied you. But if that commitment and emotional declaration is something you long for... things may have to change drastically, and you will have to be prepared to accept this.
Regardless, do not doubt yourself. If you doubt anything, let it be the situation, the emotions involved, and perhaps the future, but never let the memory of his first beloved ever give you cause to doubt yourself. And know that should you ever need sanctuary, you are welcome in Wakanda.
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