Hop Aboard the Self Swirly Express
I was in Target tonight, and had to use the gentleman's facilities. A pressing matter. Upon entering the handicap stall, which I use whenever possible, I noticed something simply astonishing. It exemplified the ingenuity and don't-give-a-damn attitude of the greatest Americans, and also the worst. What I am about to describe is a story about someone leaning heavily toward the latter. It was a fairly clean stall, with but one problem: The toilet seat of this stall was covered in some kind of yellow, oozing stain. I thought to myself, "no ones urine is powerful enough to stain a toilet seat in such little time!" And then I looked at the handle bar above the toilet. An open,used and assuredly unpaid for bottle of T-Gel, (a find anti dandruff shampoo product if there ever was one,) sitting peacefully atop the bar, lid still opened. I then realized what out-of-time-gotta-get-it-done-now horror had happened. Someone washed their hair in this Target bathroom with T-Gel, failed to wash the seat off, and left every possible form of evidence in his wake. I then left the stall, wondering what kind of human marvel I would see tomorrow. I then bought a ghostbusters shirt, outside of the facilities of course.