Captain Planet vs an unkempt Hitler.
I found something tonight I was in no way prepared to see, and I think television knew that when it withheld this information from me as long as it possibly could. It guarded it for over 15 years before I stumbled upon it, forever ruining any positive thoughts I had about Ted Turner and Captain Planet. It's worse than Milli Vanilli on The Adventures of Super Mario Brothers 3 ever was, at any point.
Take a good fat look at that video, let it seep into your brain and see how Dr. Blight, a villain that doesn't matter in her own God damned show sky rocketed to the worst person in recorded history; worse even than the very person to whom she was selling a poorly drawn A-bomb. A villain who's previous plans include obtaining phony legal documents and holding Captain planet ransom for all the worlds Nuclear waste. Half cocked ideas, at best. Here is a no nonsense description of this complete nonsense episode, straight from good ol' Wikipedia: "106. A Good Bomb Is Hard to Find - The Planeteers attempt to prevent past and future versions of Doctor Blight from selling a nuclear bomb to a German dictator strongly implied to be Adolf Hitler. This episode implies Doctor Blight is ultimately responsible for the Hiroshima bombings as the result of a paradox." Blight never once considers what she's doing, and even shows a demonstration of what the bomb can do. The chowder head scientist in the room claims the radiation will poison the villagers, but never once mentions it would poison everyone in that castle, and never questions how it didn't kill everyone within ten miles. Later on, when Captain Planet finally arrives, he says nothing about the gut wrenching horror he's just been dragged into by these terrible kids, gets paralyzed by Hitlers apparent Cobra shock stare powers, and throws the A-bomb into outer space, where it explodes, creating a mushroom cloud like it hit some magical oxygenated surface. Then a little girl with one leg the planeteers just had to bring with them writes a letter warning soldiers about a mine field so they wont get hurt, which could have very well halted all of creation; and hands it off to them, right before running off into the ravioli shaped time hole they all jump back into after the bonkers climax of the show. All of this aired on television without a bit of trouble, because it was "politically correct" with a "message."
I do realize this is a work of fiction, but I also realize it's shitty fiction based on the most shameful world wide massacre that has ever happened; without even a sliver of a good reason as to why it's decided to do such a thing. Setting events up so that DR. BLIGHT leaves her miserable little death math journal behind so the American soldiers can "get it to their science boys" because it MIGHT be important and never mentioning that she just caused Hiroshima?! Does she realize she just wiped Einstein's work off the face of the planet? Captain planet isn't doing his job if he's letting anything even remotely like that slide. Throw that traitor to all of man kind into a God damned volcano and just end it already. God dammit.
Click to viewTake a good fat look at that video, let it seep into your brain and see how Dr. Blight, a villain that doesn't matter in her own God damned show sky rocketed to the worst person in recorded history; worse even than the very person to whom she was selling a poorly drawn A-bomb. A villain who's previous plans include obtaining phony legal documents and holding Captain planet ransom for all the worlds Nuclear waste. Half cocked ideas, at best. Here is a no nonsense description of this complete nonsense episode, straight from good ol' Wikipedia: "106. A Good Bomb Is Hard to Find - The Planeteers attempt to prevent past and future versions of Doctor Blight from selling a nuclear bomb to a German dictator strongly implied to be Adolf Hitler. This episode implies Doctor Blight is ultimately responsible for the Hiroshima bombings as the result of a paradox." Blight never once considers what she's doing, and even shows a demonstration of what the bomb can do. The chowder head scientist in the room claims the radiation will poison the villagers, but never once mentions it would poison everyone in that castle, and never questions how it didn't kill everyone within ten miles. Later on, when Captain Planet finally arrives, he says nothing about the gut wrenching horror he's just been dragged into by these terrible kids, gets paralyzed by Hitlers apparent Cobra shock stare powers, and throws the A-bomb into outer space, where it explodes, creating a mushroom cloud like it hit some magical oxygenated surface. Then a little girl with one leg the planeteers just had to bring with them writes a letter warning soldiers about a mine field so they wont get hurt, which could have very well halted all of creation; and hands it off to them, right before running off into the ravioli shaped time hole they all jump back into after the bonkers climax of the show. All of this aired on television without a bit of trouble, because it was "politically correct" with a "message."
I do realize this is a work of fiction, but I also realize it's shitty fiction based on the most shameful world wide massacre that has ever happened; without even a sliver of a good reason as to why it's decided to do such a thing. Setting events up so that DR. BLIGHT leaves her miserable little death math journal behind so the American soldiers can "get it to their science boys" because it MIGHT be important and never mentioning that she just caused Hiroshima?! Does she realize she just wiped Einstein's work off the face of the planet? Captain planet isn't doing his job if he's letting anything even remotely like that slide. Throw that traitor to all of man kind into a God damned volcano and just end it already. God dammit.