Audaces Fortuna iuvat.
There's a pool of shimmering water in the dungeon. Bill goes to work:
Q:Is anything in it?
A: No.
Is it flush with the floor?
A: Six inches below.
Q: Is the dust around it disturbed?
A: No.
Q: So it looks like the dungeon occupants don't drink from it?
A: It appears that way.
B: Fandrell puts a halberd in it.
J: OK, it gets wet.
B: Go get one of the skulls [from the skeletons] and drop it in.
J: OK, it gets wet, and it sinks.
Now don't get me wrong: Bill is not such a pain-in-the-ass in real life. He's just playing a cautious character. He's trying to figure out how to jury-rig an engine to find out if the poisonous sucking water elementals will snake up our nostrils if we touch it.
K: Calen puts his hand in it.
Don't get me wrong: in real life I don't go around sticking my fingers in strange things. Calen is just a "Fortune Favors The Bold" kinda elf.
K: Calen puts his tongue-tip on the liquid.
J: It tingles.
K: OK, just goddamn taste the stuff.
J: Excuse me, you just said Calen is going to taste it?
K: Yes! We've come to the dungeon to taste! I'm ________ tasting!
B: Oh boy. [Or some other pansy-ass statement.]
J: [Laughing] That should be a motto: "We come to taste!"
When you think about it, the least-used of the five senses in a dungeon full of stone, dust, corpses, metal-eating slime, coprolites, bones, rusted iron, rotting wood, and fetid water is taste.
If taste is ever used.
Ew.
Tetanus City.
Grody to the max.
J: [Rolls dice] Calen realizes he's always known how to speak and write Kobold. [A magical effect bestowed by a pool that is, in effect, a large potion. Kobolds are nasty dungeon denizens.]
B: OK, Fandrell tastes.
J: [Rolls] Fandrell adds subtracts one from his armor class. [Meaning he's now harder to hit.]
B: All right!
K: Say what? He gets that, and I get to speak kobold?
C: Owen drinks some.
J: [Rolls] Add one to your prime attribute.
C: Sweet!
K: Oh, but yeah, you can't speak __________ kobold!
Are you clueless as to the general Big Deal? Let me run two scenarios of a hypothetical situation:
#1 Pre-Kobold-Cognizant
DM: You open the door, and there are twenty kobolds in the room. They look you dead in the eye, gnarl something you can't understand, and charge.
K: Oh shit.
#2 Kobold-Cognizant
DM: You open the door, and there are twenty kobolds in the room. They look you dead in the eye, say "Hey FuckNuts, we are going to eat your liver before you die!", and charge.
K: Calen says, in his best John Wayne impersonation, "As soon as you eat the peanuts outta my shit, waaaa haaa..."
Get me? Knowing Kobold adds color to the game!
Anyway, back to "reality":
B: You can always try it again.
K: Yeah: Calen takes another taste.
J: [Rolls] Calen falls down unconscious.
K: [Expletive string]
Bill has Fandrell revive Calen.
K: Can Calen still speak kobold?
J: Yes.
K: Well thank _______ God for that!
B: Fandrell takes another taste.
J: [Rolls] Fandrell falls down dead.
O_o
K: Well, speaking Kobold ain't so bad!
Q:Is anything in it?
A: No.
Is it flush with the floor?
A: Six inches below.
Q: Is the dust around it disturbed?
A: No.
Q: So it looks like the dungeon occupants don't drink from it?
A: It appears that way.
B: Fandrell puts a halberd in it.
J: OK, it gets wet.
B: Go get one of the skulls [from the skeletons] and drop it in.
J: OK, it gets wet, and it sinks.
Now don't get me wrong: Bill is not such a pain-in-the-ass in real life. He's just playing a cautious character. He's trying to figure out how to jury-rig an engine to find out if the poisonous sucking water elementals will snake up our nostrils if we touch it.
K: Calen puts his hand in it.
Don't get me wrong: in real life I don't go around sticking my fingers in strange things. Calen is just a "Fortune Favors The Bold" kinda elf.
K: Calen puts his tongue-tip on the liquid.
J: It tingles.
K: OK, just goddamn taste the stuff.
J: Excuse me, you just said Calen is going to taste it?
K: Yes! We've come to the dungeon to taste! I'm ________ tasting!
B: Oh boy. [Or some other pansy-ass statement.]
J: [Laughing] That should be a motto: "We come to taste!"
When you think about it, the least-used of the five senses in a dungeon full of stone, dust, corpses, metal-eating slime, coprolites, bones, rusted iron, rotting wood, and fetid water is taste.
If taste is ever used.
Ew.
Tetanus City.
Grody to the max.
J: [Rolls dice] Calen realizes he's always known how to speak and write Kobold. [A magical effect bestowed by a pool that is, in effect, a large potion. Kobolds are nasty dungeon denizens.]
B: OK, Fandrell tastes.
J: [Rolls] Fandrell adds subtracts one from his armor class. [Meaning he's now harder to hit.]
B: All right!
K: Say what? He gets that, and I get to speak kobold?
C: Owen drinks some.
J: [Rolls] Add one to your prime attribute.
C: Sweet!
K: Oh, but yeah, you can't speak __________ kobold!
Are you clueless as to the general Big Deal? Let me run two scenarios of a hypothetical situation:
#1 Pre-Kobold-Cognizant
DM: You open the door, and there are twenty kobolds in the room. They look you dead in the eye, gnarl something you can't understand, and charge.
K: Oh shit.
#2 Kobold-Cognizant
DM: You open the door, and there are twenty kobolds in the room. They look you dead in the eye, say "Hey FuckNuts, we are going to eat your liver before you die!", and charge.
K: Calen says, in his best John Wayne impersonation, "As soon as you eat the peanuts outta my shit, waaaa haaa..."
Get me? Knowing Kobold adds color to the game!
Anyway, back to "reality":
B: You can always try it again.
K: Yeah: Calen takes another taste.
J: [Rolls] Calen falls down unconscious.
K: [Expletive string]
Bill has Fandrell revive Calen.
K: Can Calen still speak kobold?
J: Yes.
K: Well thank _______ God for that!
B: Fandrell takes another taste.
J: [Rolls] Fandrell falls down dead.
O_o
K: Well, speaking Kobold ain't so bad!