(Untitled)
The bunnies were driving Lloyd up the fucking wall. They'd been around for almost two months now, during which they had gone from bald rat-like creatures to cute, fuzzy, and insufferable little bastards. They were too big to keep in the box all the time, and enjoyed chewing the fuck out of whatever piece of furniture unfortunate enough to cross ( Read more... )
The bunny he'd chosen was stubborn little shit, with a freaky appetite and a habit of staying in one spot for hours without budging. Lloyd decided it'd suit her fine, once she got used to the idea of sharing space with a cute and fuzzy animal.
Yeah, maybe once Charlie's piglet got a pilot's license.
When Lloyd got to the hermit trailer, he found Jaye in a hammock, wearing a bikini, and that view alone justified the trip. She was in mid-nap, and Lloyd was suddenly faced with a dilemma. The rational part of him - or at least the part that enjoyed living - suggested he should wake her up and carefully introduce her to her new pet. But there was another force at work here -- the wild urge of a kid who would shove a firecracker up his nose just to see what happened.
It didn't take a genius to figure out which voice Lloyd usually listened to.
Making as little noise as he could, he sneaked towards the hammock and brought the rabbit to Jaye's face, so close that its nose was actually touching her lips, tiny bunny whiskers twitching.
"What's up, doc?"
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"THE HELL!" she cried out, jumping backwards. Which... was kind of hard to do on a hammock, since it swung violently at the violent movement. Jaye had to grip the sides just to stay seated, and even then she ended up sliding of the hammock and onto her feet.
"Jesus Christ, what the hell Lloyd!"
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Lloyd thought his head might be in danger of getting bitten off, though, if he didn't have a good answer to Jaye's question.
Unsurprisingly, he didn't.
But he couldn't bring himself to worry too much, since he was too busy snickering like a retarded hyena.
"Sorry, sleeping beauty," he got out, just barely, and even made a valiant attempt to look a little bit ashamed of himself. He wasn't, though, not really. "Just thought you should get used to the feeling, 'cause she's yours now."
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"What the hell are you talking about?"
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"Your rabbit," he clarified, not sure how else he could phrase it. "You know, like a pet? I want you to have her."
He'd actually checked this time, and he was pretty sure the bunny was indeed a she.
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"WHY would you even THINK of giving me..." Something fuzzy? Cute? With beady little eyes? An animal with a mouth? Something ALIVE that could very easily turn up DEAD? "...a rabbit?"
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"'cause she needs a home, and I think you're gonna take good care of her," he said, lifting the bunny a little so Jaye could get a taste of a proper rabbit staredown. "Look, they don't talk. They don't burst into fucking song. They're real quiet most of the time." Sometimes, they even managed to stay quiet when they were munching a hole through your underwear, but Lloyd didn't think that particular tidbit was relevant just then.
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Jaye stared distrustfully into those beady rabbit eyes. Its nose twitched, and some small part of Jaye had to admit that was KINDA cute. But she still wasn't entirely sold.
"Seriously?" she asked, shifting her gaze to Lloyd. "You honestly think I'M going to take good care of it?"
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And no matter what Jaye thought, Lloyd was sure nothing bad would happen to the bunny on her watch. With time, she might even get used to having Miss Fuzzyface around. Hell, she might even like it.
"Come on, try holding her," he offered, holding the rabbit out without actually pushing it in Jaye's face this time around. "They're not that bad." He paused, reconsidering. "Well, except Hoppy, but he's like a wolf in bunny clothing or something."
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Cautiously, making sure she didn't look in any way convinced, Jaye held out her hands to take the little ball of fluff. It was still STARING at her, but somehow not in a judging way, which Jaye appreciated. "Is it gonna shit everywhere?"
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"Yeah, at first," he admitted, because Jaye would find out about rabbit shitting habits soon enough, anyway. "But you can teach her to go in a box. Takes a little patience, is all. She probably won't take too long -- looks smarter than most." The emphasis was on the er, rather than on the smart. Rabbits were a lot of things, but geniuses they were not.
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Well, APPARENTLY, since the thing was in her hands.
"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "I'm not good with animals. Just in general. I'm a Snowy Owl love killer," Jaye admitted, with an entirely straight face. Okay, maybe it was a little crooked with uncertainty. "Among other things. I might step on it or something."
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"Someone who makes it impossible for the endangered Snowy Owl to breed because a cardboard cut out told her to scare the shit out of them with flash photography?"
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He glanced at the rabbit thoughtfully. "Well, if you manage to find a way to stop them from breeding, you let me know. Would save me a lot of headache." He pressed his tongue to the side of his mouth, trying to come up with something reassuring to say. "Anyway, I bet they managed to get it on later, those owls. I mean, not like they're gonna be scarred for life 'cause of a little flash, right?"
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