i dont know what to think anymore i wonder what makes me a person anyone for that matter i have a conscious mind whoopdi fuckin doo thats basic i wonder if my life is just one long dream and that somethings gonna wake up and im gonna die and then something will wake up and it will die and every time i wake up something else dies and is this reality or just a reality i think that most modern psychology is useless except for basic principles because everyones mind works differently i wonder why every time i have something good going it or something else must get fucked up is there some kind of unseen balance controlled by an unseen force and why cant things just go good is it to keep me preocupied from figuring out the truth that my life is meaningless or maybe its my own fucking sub concsious keeping me down so that i wont decide that my life is meaning less are the people i know even real and if so then what is my purpose to them and if not where the fuck does that put me am i crazy ive been told i was are these irational thoughts or are they a frantic atempt figure things out before the world fall out from under me i wonder if any one will read this or if it will matter to anyone other than me i wonder what compels me to do this in the first place