Hrmph.
Ya know, there's only a one letter difference between loner and loser. But there's also only a one letter difference between loner and boner. How's that for weird? Whatever. Sleep deprivation has caused me to go slightly... meh, maybe mildly... insane? Heheh. Well, the reason for me saying the loner/loser thing kinda has a point. I am probably both. Yes, I've come out and said it. The only person I even try to keep up with is my friend Branden. I try to be here for other people, but in my own awkward way, I fall short. Oh well. Yeah yeah, probably sounds like a pseudo-emo rant, doesn't it? This is where I go, boohoo, and talk about my own faults and blame the world, and then threaten to write a will with the pool of blood from the wrists I'd be so inclined to slit open. Well, if that's what you think, then no dice. You should probably go to a different journal for that fun stuff. I, in all of my weird, creepy glory, really don't care for the dramatic or the desperation involved in everyday circumstance. I'm here to talk to you about the effect drugs have on the children of today. Wait, no, still not right. Let's try that last part again. I guess I wanna talk about inter-personal reactions, or rather, the instances where people interact in social and personal settings. You get all kinds of people. The no-good scum who like to be loud and talk about how much better they are, but can never prove it, the silent user; so quiet and unsuspecting but always willing to take the help offered, but never willing to return it, the manipulative and narcissistic drama queen; whose only goal is to make themselves the center of attention by causing conflicts by nudging brooding unspoken emotions between others, and there are so many more. But you know, not all of them are bad. Just some. Okay, maybe a few. Nah, most people are like that, in some way. This is where you'd think I'd go off and say something like "But not I, the chivalrous and charismatic knight of justice and romance!" but nah, that's not the case. Me? I'm an outsider, most times. I stand by, and watch idly as those I care about, and those I don't care about, just drift away into darkness or distance. I'm probably not the worst of the trash, but I feel like it sometimes. I'm not saying it's hard, it's just who I am. And I'm probably seeming kind of dramatic right now, but I'm not trying to be. Take this at face value, it's me just venting a little bit, with typed words that hold no water. A nice little forlorn melody that'll fall on deaf ears. But no matter, I'm going to rant, and I'm going to be done with it. Which is kind of new for me. I like bottling things up, myself. Might be I'm too sensitive. Although, I guess a lot would seem as though I don't care. I come off as a bit abrasive and emotionless at times. Hey, I can't react well to emotions or social circumstances well, and when I do, I'd like to be well-informed on what I'm going on about. But I'm still not well informed, but some things recently came to my attention, and I want to try to convey them to the best of my written ability. So, if you've read this far, I admire your tenacity.
These are in no particular order of relevance to me, but I'm going to address them to the best of my ability. I'm not trying to offend or stir any ill-will by any of this, but I'm going to type it all the same. First order of business would be... a punk ginger kid named Cook. A guy who uses the "poor me" act like a fuckin' art. Do tears lose their meaning if you use them too much? I think so. This kid cries over everything, but will do anything to wrong you, or make himself feel better. He'll use you regardless, and treat you like dirt the entire time. I hope he drowns in those fake, pointless tears of his. Then there's CJ, who is only there when he needs entertainment. Not very reliable, eh? But some people argue that "friends are just people to keep you entertained". Which I completely, and utterly, disagree with. Friends are people who support you, accentuate you, complete you, fill the flaws in your own character, and stand by you regardless of what goes on. Maybe I'm old fashioned, or just a fool? Whatever the case may be. Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends. Real friends. Good friends. Nezzy. He just got out of a relationship, and now his views are all fucked up. He was so emotionally attached to his ex that it kind of broke something in that thick, curly-haired head of his. He now sees women as nothing more than something to have sex with, use, and be done with. I don't want to sound like some fuckin' hero of chivalry, but I think that those kind of thoughts are what make relationships so nigh-meaningless nowadays. "Before you can love someone, you have to like them first." What is sex, if it lacks passion? What is love, if it's just become a word to get someone in bed? Makes me have no regrets for being single. Or a loner. Or is it a loser? Maybe I am a loser, for being too late to realize ignorance is bliss. Am I the fool for trying to become more intelligent? Because ignorance is truly bliss for those who have it, while a hell for those who try to go above it. Now I probably sound like I have a superiority complex... Well, damn that, too. I'm beyond people's opinions of me, and that's what'll keep me as myself. But, even so, I'm powerless to do anything, or even try anything. It seems Andrew's been giving Mina some trouble lately, but I had hoped he'd be grown-up enough to accept the truth, and let her go on peacefully. He's become trash, just a man who keeps himself on anti-depressants because he thinks he can't cope with the world on his own. Hell, even I was on anti-depressants for awhile. But ya know, I'd rather not smile than wear some fake smile and hide behind some damnable fake remedy. I'll say this here, and I'll say it to Mina when I see her. You can do better. You can do so much fucking better, and you should. Not some dirtbag who uses people and blames it all on the person who was his fiancee,you should go find yourself some super awesome person who hunts crocodiles or something. Not a half-hearted loser who belittles you and uses you as a fucking scapegoat. Not only that, but the piece of shit made out with another chick at the fucking halloween party last year. I tried to say it was just him being drunk, and I didn't want to hurt her by saying it, but he's just a perverted piece of no-life trash who has no reason to ever deserve someone else. Ahoo. Anyways. I think I've gotten a bit too worked up. But there's still some things I'd like to say, get off of my chest before I lose the resolve to write them down. On a public-access place like this, no less.
I'm stoic, I seem uncaring, and really, a lot of times things aren't even important enough for me to care about. But the things that do, are the things that get to me, make me want to react, and make me want to stop just watching the world around me. I do care about the few people I call friends, and I'll be there for them when they ask me too, and even when they don't. Branden, MS, BLT, Hota-dono, Kakashi-hime, Jelly, J-Man, Kiddo and Mike, are probably about the only people that I give a damn about. So what? All other ties will be cut with the people I associate with, even if it takes a bit of willpower to get me there. My little rant here, as long and drawn out as it may be, is testament to that. I'm going to show my initiative, and it's just a little bit vulgar in how ambitious it really is. If I offended someone important to me with this, assuming anyone ACTUALLY reads it, then I'm sorry. For anyone else... I dun give a damn, all right?
Rin,
King of Decadence, Author of No-Life Tragedy (A Chombie Novel)
These are in no particular order of relevance to me, but I'm going to address them to the best of my ability. I'm not trying to offend or stir any ill-will by any of this, but I'm going to type it all the same. First order of business would be... a punk ginger kid named Cook. A guy who uses the "poor me" act like a fuckin' art. Do tears lose their meaning if you use them too much? I think so. This kid cries over everything, but will do anything to wrong you, or make himself feel better. He'll use you regardless, and treat you like dirt the entire time. I hope he drowns in those fake, pointless tears of his. Then there's CJ, who is only there when he needs entertainment. Not very reliable, eh? But some people argue that "friends are just people to keep you entertained". Which I completely, and utterly, disagree with. Friends are people who support you, accentuate you, complete you, fill the flaws in your own character, and stand by you regardless of what goes on. Maybe I'm old fashioned, or just a fool? Whatever the case may be. Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends. Real friends. Good friends. Nezzy. He just got out of a relationship, and now his views are all fucked up. He was so emotionally attached to his ex that it kind of broke something in that thick, curly-haired head of his. He now sees women as nothing more than something to have sex with, use, and be done with. I don't want to sound like some fuckin' hero of chivalry, but I think that those kind of thoughts are what make relationships so nigh-meaningless nowadays. "Before you can love someone, you have to like them first." What is sex, if it lacks passion? What is love, if it's just become a word to get someone in bed? Makes me have no regrets for being single. Or a loner. Or is it a loser? Maybe I am a loser, for being too late to realize ignorance is bliss. Am I the fool for trying to become more intelligent? Because ignorance is truly bliss for those who have it, while a hell for those who try to go above it. Now I probably sound like I have a superiority complex... Well, damn that, too. I'm beyond people's opinions of me, and that's what'll keep me as myself. But, even so, I'm powerless to do anything, or even try anything. It seems Andrew's been giving Mina some trouble lately, but I had hoped he'd be grown-up enough to accept the truth, and let her go on peacefully. He's become trash, just a man who keeps himself on anti-depressants because he thinks he can't cope with the world on his own. Hell, even I was on anti-depressants for awhile. But ya know, I'd rather not smile than wear some fake smile and hide behind some damnable fake remedy. I'll say this here, and I'll say it to Mina when I see her. You can do better. You can do so much fucking better, and you should. Not some dirtbag who uses people and blames it all on the person who was his fiancee,you should go find yourself some super awesome person who hunts crocodiles or something. Not a half-hearted loser who belittles you and uses you as a fucking scapegoat. Not only that, but the piece of shit made out with another chick at the fucking halloween party last year. I tried to say it was just him being drunk, and I didn't want to hurt her by saying it, but he's just a perverted piece of no-life trash who has no reason to ever deserve someone else. Ahoo. Anyways. I think I've gotten a bit too worked up. But there's still some things I'd like to say, get off of my chest before I lose the resolve to write them down. On a public-access place like this, no less.
I'm stoic, I seem uncaring, and really, a lot of times things aren't even important enough for me to care about. But the things that do, are the things that get to me, make me want to react, and make me want to stop just watching the world around me. I do care about the few people I call friends, and I'll be there for them when they ask me too, and even when they don't. Branden, MS, BLT, Hota-dono, Kakashi-hime, Jelly, J-Man, Kiddo and Mike, are probably about the only people that I give a damn about. So what? All other ties will be cut with the people I associate with, even if it takes a bit of willpower to get me there. My little rant here, as long and drawn out as it may be, is testament to that. I'm going to show my initiative, and it's just a little bit vulgar in how ambitious it really is. If I offended someone important to me with this, assuming anyone ACTUALLY reads it, then I'm sorry. For anyone else... I dun give a damn, all right?
Rin,
King of Decadence, Author of No-Life Tragedy (A Chombie Novel)