My Coming War
We're going to buy fireworks. Me, Cole, Joey, Serena, and Janet(my dad's girlfriend). The first place on 520: PHANTOM FIREWORKS. I walked in first. 101.1 had a tent set up, to my left and right were two redneck butches, in front of me was a fat chinese kid, and behind him were two of Cocoa's finest.
"Hello, have you ever shopped at Phantom before?" the fat kid asked.
"Ya we know, we use em to shoot the birds. I answered.
"We have some rules you have to follow here, everyone come over while I explain."
"Ya... uh.... Zemin, birds and stuff alright? birds, the birds!?
"Please listen to this, are you 18 or over?"
"I'm not tellin your fatass how old I am."
One of the girls started talking when he started getting pissed. "You must have a responsible adult with you at all times in the store, he or she must sign the waiver over at the computer."
"Ya you guys just keep doing your thing, we gotta go buy some fireworks." I walked around the store.
A cop noticed what was going on. "Hey hey, wait a second there son."
"Excuse me is there a problem?" I've waited my whole life to say that to a cop.
The other cop was watching from about 15 feet away, my cop and the chinese kid started talking about what to do with me.
"This place sucks I'll see you jackasses later." I grabbed Janet who was giving a girl at the computer desk her address. Cole, Joey, and Serena followed me out the door.
We go down the road a little farther, and come across a THUNDERBOLT FIRECRACKERS. There were three drunk rednecks in the back of truck, cooking hamburgers, a three legged dog next to a Mexican lady reading a book, and a brotha selling crack. I walked in.
"Hello my name is Tony, how may I help you?" Tony was huge, bald with a goatee, sunglasses and shining white teeth.
I shook his hand, "Hello my name is Neil, can you do the Macarena?"
"I can but I won't."
"Ahah! Tony, it's Tony right? I think we're fine, ya were good, no waivers or police or china or anything?"
"No sir, feel free to buy whatever you'd like."
"Thank you, thank you very much, you're a goddamned genius, by the way don't let the police come, tell them they're trespassing, tell them to get the fuck out of here, you're a genius."
We walked around the aisles. Buy one get one free, mortars, sparklers, there is a siamese cat sleeping on a shelf, 1/4 sticks, and a girl in a bikini stocking the shelves. We bought 500$ worth of device, for 93.79$.
"Alright guys, we're going back to Phantom, I'll stop the car in front of the glass door, you guys hold the fireworks out the window."
I walked into the store.
"Hey you Chink. We went to Thunderbolt, in your face!!!"
All the costumers looked outside at Cole and Joey yelling and screaming with fireworks in their hands.
He rushed at me, as I stepped one step backwards enough for the cop to catch him, and I gave them all a middle finger salute leaving the store.
In the state of Florida fireworks are illegal. On a day that celebrates OUR FREEDOM, they are ILLEGAL, only they are not illegal to sell. I am no longer able to hold on to the illusion of freedom, not because of this incident: I'm also not allowed to pop the tires of any construction trucks trespassing my property. While we're on the this subject I'm reading a book called 1776. Did you know 7 of the 9 most influential founding fathers rejected Christianity? Did you know that George Washington hardly ever dealt with congress, since he knew they were a bunch of crooked politicians, and that he wrote the shortest inauguration speech. Here is an excerpt-
"That if it shall be found during my administration of the Government I have in any instance violated willingly or knowingly the injunctions thereof, I may (besides incurring constitutional punishment) be subject to the upbraidings of all who are now witnesses of the present solemn ceremony."
In other words, "If I mess up, please let me know."
Sumpreme Court rules personal property siezure legal.
