(no subject)
ive had so much to think about over the past few days.
so much that ive been finding myself doing things i dont want to, only to keep my mind off other things.
so much that even the music isnt enough to make anything go away.
ive never lost people this close to me, so close that it directly affects my life and my family's. i hate seeing my parents cry and my sister being so confused. and worst of all i feel like theyre dissapointed in me because im not home anymore.
its just that last night i was so tired of faking being content with things that i didnt even go to the dance. so instead i stayed home and played guitar and piano and for the first time with the windows down and the air blowing in it felt so good to be alone and so amazing to have my thoughts on other things.
i know i said earlier that i hate when things distract you from whats important, but i guess i take some of that back;
because whats important isnt always good, and whats good isnt always important i guess.
the worst part is i might be moving, because my family doesnt know if we can afford being here much longer. i guess i wouldnt really mind, i never really see the people i feel are the most important to me anyway.
im really looking forward to spending christmas in san anotnio, i need to get out of here for a while.
i hope you all had a good time at homecoming<3
.alex
so much that ive been finding myself doing things i dont want to, only to keep my mind off other things.
so much that even the music isnt enough to make anything go away.
ive never lost people this close to me, so close that it directly affects my life and my family's. i hate seeing my parents cry and my sister being so confused. and worst of all i feel like theyre dissapointed in me because im not home anymore.
its just that last night i was so tired of faking being content with things that i didnt even go to the dance. so instead i stayed home and played guitar and piano and for the first time with the windows down and the air blowing in it felt so good to be alone and so amazing to have my thoughts on other things.
i know i said earlier that i hate when things distract you from whats important, but i guess i take some of that back;
because whats important isnt always good, and whats good isnt always important i guess.
the worst part is i might be moving, because my family doesnt know if we can afford being here much longer. i guess i wouldnt really mind, i never really see the people i feel are the most important to me anyway.
im really looking forward to spending christmas in san anotnio, i need to get out of here for a while.
i hope you all had a good time at homecoming<3
.alex