Looseleaves
Everytime I have picked up my notebook to start writing again I felt guilt.
"Sorrryyy. I know I said last time Id try harder but I..I've just been busy.
Things will be different I promise.
Silent treatment.
Dont look at me that way, I promise, really, Ill carry you around more and you'll see- it'll be just like old times."
While I was reading this old entry on the plane- about to write yet again something with this same tune- it dawned on me.
Im wasting time on apologies and explanations.
The pattern ive grown into isnt something I should be spending time rationalizing. If anything I should be happy things have turned this way. I should be thankful that I dont have that much free time to write 5 entries a day anymore. Having people to talk to instead and things to distract me is progress-
and I should not have to explain that to paper.
"Sorrryyy. I know I said last time Id try harder but I..I've just been busy.
Things will be different I promise.
Silent treatment.
Dont look at me that way, I promise, really, Ill carry you around more and you'll see- it'll be just like old times."
While I was reading this old entry on the plane- about to write yet again something with this same tune- it dawned on me.
Im wasting time on apologies and explanations.
The pattern ive grown into isnt something I should be spending time rationalizing. If anything I should be happy things have turned this way. I should be thankful that I dont have that much free time to write 5 entries a day anymore. Having people to talk to instead and things to distract me is progress-
and I should not have to explain that to paper.