(no subject)
WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS WILL MOST LIKELY HAVE NO TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
As I sit here, at 1.46 in the morning, things aren't per say occurring to me, but rather, I am deciding in my wee brain some better options for the days ahead. I am fucking SICK of being so obsessed. Worrying about things that humans or women are programmed to worry about. I want to live. I want to be happy. I have hard times ahead, but who doesn't? Everyone does, and every one deals with it, or most do. A lot of people are content and happy and interesting and just all right. This is key for a successful life, to feel good almost every waking day. Work hard at what you want to. I realise that even though this sounds selfish, no one is more important that no.1. If you don't look after no.1 then you can't really share your life well with others you care about, can you?
For a while I was thinking of all those deep things, religion, evolution and space, you know, all that bollocks. - see I'd always made up my mind to remove myself from those things. I don't really want to choose a belief system, but these days that's what you seem to have to do. I don't and didn't do it, because I DON'T CARE. To be quite blunt. If I don't care about it, then it's not really essential in life is it? Essential in my life anyway. Like lots of people, it's nice to think that when you pass from this world, that you go somewhere nice that you'll be happy in, and you'll be reunited with loved ones etc. etc. That's about as far as I go in this instance. It's comforting to imagine but I feel no real reason to find out my purpose in life or how we were created, and what theories to believe. These things seem to be an awful tiring process and some of them are far beyond our comprehension. I may sound really lazy in this instance because I can't be bovvverd to explore these mysteries. That however, is just who I am. I'm sure there are many others like me, and many who will disagree also. I never say that I don't believe in this and that, it's just that it's not really that important to me to believe in something or not. I feel very indifferent about these sorts of things.
I am still so young, has my life even begun yet? I have decided it is absolutely fundamental to stop being a negative arse hole. I think it's one of the hardest things to do; but I think it would pay off in the long run. There are so many faults one could correct if they were really that dedicated enough. Nothing will ever be perfect, but we can all try can't we? There's no harm in trying to be happy. Our life span is too short to fufill everything we could possibly want to do. That means every single possible activity.. we could potentially go through with. But it just ain't gonna happen! So, I say, I'm gonnnar do what I can. I don't seem to have this particular thing that a lot of people posses - ideas. Some people are so full of ideas and aspirations, it blows my mind. I hate it. I wish I could be like them. I wish I could be so developed, so creative. Some people know exactly what they want to do and others like me - have these few things that keep their life together and they work at them the best they can. Not all lives quite fit into those sweet stereotypes of course.
I tink it's important to get all this kind of crap sorted out in my head. Especially if you're round about my age, just in my opinion. That's why we're all a bit mental. We are emotionally, physically, and mentally a wee bit buggered up. Our tiny we brains are trying to absorb too much.. just trying to be too cool.
Maybe I'll have more early morning epiphanies soon.
As I sit here, at 1.46 in the morning, things aren't per say occurring to me, but rather, I am deciding in my wee brain some better options for the days ahead. I am fucking SICK of being so obsessed. Worrying about things that humans or women are programmed to worry about. I want to live. I want to be happy. I have hard times ahead, but who doesn't? Everyone does, and every one deals with it, or most do. A lot of people are content and happy and interesting and just all right. This is key for a successful life, to feel good almost every waking day. Work hard at what you want to. I realise that even though this sounds selfish, no one is more important that no.1. If you don't look after no.1 then you can't really share your life well with others you care about, can you?
For a while I was thinking of all those deep things, religion, evolution and space, you know, all that bollocks. - see I'd always made up my mind to remove myself from those things. I don't really want to choose a belief system, but these days that's what you seem to have to do. I don't and didn't do it, because I DON'T CARE. To be quite blunt. If I don't care about it, then it's not really essential in life is it? Essential in my life anyway. Like lots of people, it's nice to think that when you pass from this world, that you go somewhere nice that you'll be happy in, and you'll be reunited with loved ones etc. etc. That's about as far as I go in this instance. It's comforting to imagine but I feel no real reason to find out my purpose in life or how we were created, and what theories to believe. These things seem to be an awful tiring process and some of them are far beyond our comprehension. I may sound really lazy in this instance because I can't be bovvverd to explore these mysteries. That however, is just who I am. I'm sure there are many others like me, and many who will disagree also. I never say that I don't believe in this and that, it's just that it's not really that important to me to believe in something or not. I feel very indifferent about these sorts of things.
I am still so young, has my life even begun yet? I have decided it is absolutely fundamental to stop being a negative arse hole. I think it's one of the hardest things to do; but I think it would pay off in the long run. There are so many faults one could correct if they were really that dedicated enough. Nothing will ever be perfect, but we can all try can't we? There's no harm in trying to be happy. Our life span is too short to fufill everything we could possibly want to do. That means every single possible activity.. we could potentially go through with. But it just ain't gonna happen! So, I say, I'm gonnnar do what I can. I don't seem to have this particular thing that a lot of people posses - ideas. Some people are so full of ideas and aspirations, it blows my mind. I hate it. I wish I could be like them. I wish I could be so developed, so creative. Some people know exactly what they want to do and others like me - have these few things that keep their life together and they work at them the best they can. Not all lives quite fit into those sweet stereotypes of course.
I tink it's important to get all this kind of crap sorted out in my head. Especially if you're round about my age, just in my opinion. That's why we're all a bit mental. We are emotionally, physically, and mentally a wee bit buggered up. Our tiny we brains are trying to absorb too much.. just trying to be too cool.
Maybe I'll have more early morning epiphanies soon.