ugh! :(
soooo.
my sister called me up yesterday before the HSTW rave and we talked for a minute, and long story short, my dad apparently had TWO heart attacks and didnt know. That has set his heart on an awful course and there isnt much they can do to fix it.
My dad was also diagnosed with liver cancer as well, and was thinking about getting on a donor list. Well now that they found out that he had 2 heart attacks, that nullifies his chance of getting a transplant. I mean, why would they give a liver to someone who has had TWO already, likely to have a third and waste a good organ?
So at this point the only thing they can do is...well nothing. he will continue to get treatment for the liver cancer i guess, but as for his heart..well thats a whole different ballgame. His next heart attack may be his last too.
Ugh i just dont know what to do. I mean, i dont want to be posed by this situation at 22. My father dying. I kinda played it out in my head that if i got THAT call from my mother that i just dont know what i'd do. My dad and i were by no means on the BEST of terms...but he is still my dad no matter what i've done or said in the past to prove otherwise. He raised me to who i am today and if he were to leave, well i really dont know what i would do next. It's a hard thing to face. I mean i know we all pass someday, but shit, im just a month shy of 22 and i dont wanna hear "we dont know how long dad has to live"
The worse thing is that my dad has liver cancer and is an alcoholic. He also hasnt stopped drinking and my mom was considering leaving him if he doesnt change his ways, she is trying really hard to get him to see it too but he apparently just feels like "well im going to die anyways"
My point of saying that was that i myself am going to curb my drinking. I know i drink a lot, i am by NO means an alcoholic, i just go through periods where, for like a month or two i wont drink a drop, then ill drink once or twice a week for a month or so, then not drink for another month or so. It's weird...i know.
Anyways, im just going to cut it back. Sure its fun to drink, but it really DOES do damage to the body and i want to live as long as possible. This isnt to say that im just going to stop altogether, because i dont think that its neccesary to do so. Its okay to drink from time to time, it really is, but just dont let it get out of hand.
The reason im slowing my own usage is to head off any problems i could incur later in life. i dont think im losing control, i still feel like a have a pretty good grip on it, but i just want to reduce my chances of being in my fathers situation.
anyways i have to go to work now.
I wanna say thanks to all last night at the rave, it was really nice to get out and just party and not worry about family situations and just dance, take pics, talk to friends and make new ones.
thank you all
my sister called me up yesterday before the HSTW rave and we talked for a minute, and long story short, my dad apparently had TWO heart attacks and didnt know. That has set his heart on an awful course and there isnt much they can do to fix it.
My dad was also diagnosed with liver cancer as well, and was thinking about getting on a donor list. Well now that they found out that he had 2 heart attacks, that nullifies his chance of getting a transplant. I mean, why would they give a liver to someone who has had TWO already, likely to have a third and waste a good organ?
So at this point the only thing they can do is...well nothing. he will continue to get treatment for the liver cancer i guess, but as for his heart..well thats a whole different ballgame. His next heart attack may be his last too.
Ugh i just dont know what to do. I mean, i dont want to be posed by this situation at 22. My father dying. I kinda played it out in my head that if i got THAT call from my mother that i just dont know what i'd do. My dad and i were by no means on the BEST of terms...but he is still my dad no matter what i've done or said in the past to prove otherwise. He raised me to who i am today and if he were to leave, well i really dont know what i would do next. It's a hard thing to face. I mean i know we all pass someday, but shit, im just a month shy of 22 and i dont wanna hear "we dont know how long dad has to live"
The worse thing is that my dad has liver cancer and is an alcoholic. He also hasnt stopped drinking and my mom was considering leaving him if he doesnt change his ways, she is trying really hard to get him to see it too but he apparently just feels like "well im going to die anyways"
My point of saying that was that i myself am going to curb my drinking. I know i drink a lot, i am by NO means an alcoholic, i just go through periods where, for like a month or two i wont drink a drop, then ill drink once or twice a week for a month or so, then not drink for another month or so. It's weird...i know.
Anyways, im just going to cut it back. Sure its fun to drink, but it really DOES do damage to the body and i want to live as long as possible. This isnt to say that im just going to stop altogether, because i dont think that its neccesary to do so. Its okay to drink from time to time, it really is, but just dont let it get out of hand.
The reason im slowing my own usage is to head off any problems i could incur later in life. i dont think im losing control, i still feel like a have a pretty good grip on it, but i just want to reduce my chances of being in my fathers situation.
anyways i have to go to work now.
I wanna say thanks to all last night at the rave, it was really nice to get out and just party and not worry about family situations and just dance, take pics, talk to friends and make new ones.
thank you all