low
i am feeling really depressed at the moment and i wanna write about it to get it out of me.
firstly,i got really upset at work today coz some random guy walked passed me and called me a fuc**** skinnie runt. i got really upset about it. i wanted to go home or at least slap the cunt.
then i just got worse. i just sat my whole lunch time thinking about all the stuff in my life.
i guess i am just lonely, lost and a little confused.
i get annoyed and angry at myself.
i hate it when couples take each other for granted, when they fight over the smallest things. i wanna cry when i see that. it makes me sick. if they only knew what it was like never to have someone there. yess iam still young but i am still lonely. to be honest i have never "really" gone out with someone not some one who i care for in such a scence. yes i have had a few relationships. but they i feel might have only been cover ups. i would never do this know as i know what its like to be hurt by someone, or maybe i dont as i never had really had such a relationship.
i also thought about collage. am iam good enough to get in. i have been told i am but for really do poeple really like my work? a frustrated artist how common. i guess i am scaired of this new chapter in my life. i dont know what lies ahead on one hand i cant wait to go, a new life, new poeple and lots going on. however on the other hand i will miss the people who are around me know, even the peopel i dont like, who am i going to bitch about.... or who am i going to bitch with? but i will really miss my friends, all of them, even the ones who i dont talk to, even the ones who i dont know the names of. they make me feel in place and at home.
but all i guess i can do is live life. even if i dont like it. hopefully one day i will find someone who can break my heart.
love always
keekee
firstly,i got really upset at work today coz some random guy walked passed me and called me a fuc**** skinnie runt. i got really upset about it. i wanted to go home or at least slap the cunt.
then i just got worse. i just sat my whole lunch time thinking about all the stuff in my life.
i guess i am just lonely, lost and a little confused.
i get annoyed and angry at myself.
i hate it when couples take each other for granted, when they fight over the smallest things. i wanna cry when i see that. it makes me sick. if they only knew what it was like never to have someone there. yess iam still young but i am still lonely. to be honest i have never "really" gone out with someone not some one who i care for in such a scence. yes i have had a few relationships. but they i feel might have only been cover ups. i would never do this know as i know what its like to be hurt by someone, or maybe i dont as i never had really had such a relationship.
i also thought about collage. am iam good enough to get in. i have been told i am but for really do poeple really like my work? a frustrated artist how common. i guess i am scaired of this new chapter in my life. i dont know what lies ahead on one hand i cant wait to go, a new life, new poeple and lots going on. however on the other hand i will miss the people who are around me know, even the peopel i dont like, who am i going to bitch about.... or who am i going to bitch with? but i will really miss my friends, all of them, even the ones who i dont talk to, even the ones who i dont know the names of. they make me feel in place and at home.
but all i guess i can do is live life. even if i dont like it. hopefully one day i will find someone who can break my heart.
love always
keekee