torpedo (9/10)
torpedo
yunho/jaejoong
romance, drama / pg13 / 9/10
Being a fansite master is hard as much as it's fun. And as crazy as it sounds, Jaejoong quit his job two years ago to focus on managing a fansite for the most popular duo in the country, The Punstars.
Jung Yunho is his boyfriend. His secret boyfriend, but still his boyfriend. Both had agreed to keep their relationship a secret for obvious reasons. Yunho didn't want Jaejoong to be mauled by rabid fans and Jaejoong didn't want to ruin Yunho's career. Even if Yunho had assured him that coming out would not ruin anything, Jaejoong could tell that even he is not sure about it.
He gets busy with his photobook just as Yunho gets busy with his drama, which means they only get a chance to see each other twice a week. Luckily, it has not taken its toll on Jaejoong yet. Same thing could not be said for Yunho, though.
"Yunho, no. You cannot sneak off. You're filming, and you're one of the leads." Jaejoong bites his lip as he hears Yunho's groan from the other line. The celebrity called him a few minutes ago to tell him about his plan to ditch filming and go to wherever he is at the moment.
"But Jaejoongie, I need you here. I've been out here in the cold for seven hours now, and Yoochun keeps on giving me the stink eye."
He snorts. "Probably because you're not behaving. You've done great before we met. Why can't you do that now? Stop whining, please."
"But-"
"Yunho." He sighs. The man can be a handful sometimes. "I'm supposed to be your motivation, your inspiration. Stop being silly. If you don't go back to work, it's not only the stink eye Yoochun's going to give you. Tell you what, as soon as I finish what I'm doing and you're still there, I'll give you a visit." He is supposed to go to the print house when he finishes post processing the photos, but with Yunho whining like a kid, it seems like it is not going to happen. He will just have to pray to the heavens that the printing of the photobooks would go smoothly or its release would be delayed and people would complain and some might even get a refund. It sucks that he could not possibly tell them, hey it's your Yunho oppa's fault when he decided to be needy.
"Great! I'll text you the address, and I'll see- No." He blinks when there seems to be some rustling from the other line. "No, he won't." Then he hears Yoochun's voice. "I'm sorry, Jaejoong. We're changing location. We're on our way to Busan, and please don't fall into Yunho's trap. He's being a lazyass today and wants to do nothing but cuddle and steal kisses from you. I know because he's been telling me since dawn. Ugh, that lovesick fool. He's driving me nuts. Do what you have to do and don't worry about him. He'll survive."
Jaejoong chuckles, pulling his legs to his chest as he rests his chin on his knees, highly amused. "Are you sure?"
It is not that he does not want to pay Yunho a visit. He does, but Yunho is working and he does not want to get in the way. If he shows up, Yunho is only going to be distracted, and his co-workers would think that he is slacking off and being unprofessional. Also, he has work to be done.
"Never been sure. Now I'll give the phone back to its needy owner. It was nice talking to you, Jaejoong."
He nods to no one in particular. "Hmm. Nice talking to you too, Yoochun." He smiles, listening to the seemingly arguing voices in the background. It takes a few moments before he is able to hear Yunho's voice again. "You heard the man."
"I hate him sometimes." Yunho grumbles. "Can I quit being a celebrity and just help you with your fansite?"
He laughs. "You don't mean that. If you quit, then who will I be working for? We want you and Changmin together. As duo," he adds quickly, afraid that Yunho would assume that he means it romantically, which he does not. "One can't be without the other. You're a package deal."
"I understand. But I really miss you."
"If it makes you feel better, I miss you too. And I mean it."
Jaejoong struggles to contain his feelings. Everything still seems unreal. He cannot believe he is exchanging I miss you's with someone he really looks up to. What has he done to deserve Yunho? He must have been a good samaritan in his past life.
"It did. Thank you, baby. Two days more and I'm finally free. You know what I'd do the moment the director says cut?"
"What?"
"I'd rush to my car and drive straight to your house."
"I'll have a hot bath and a full course meal ready for you, then."
"You're kidding."
"I'm not," he replies, "I meant what I said. If you decide to drop by here first, I'll have those ready for you and then we'll cuddle when you're sated."
A week ago, when Yunho was still in the process of wooing him, he received a call from Yoochun asking him if they could meet. So they did, secretly that is. Since it seemed that Yunho is really serious about him, it is only right to give him the talk. Yoochun had told him how Yunho is as a celebrity and as a person. Being in the industry for eight years, stardom is not doing Yunho good anymore. To his love life, at least. Yunho might be the leader type but that did not mean he does not need anyone to take care of him, to protect him and give him some loving. Sure he goes on dates, but most of them were blind dates that ended in a disaster. He did have a few lovers in the past but those, too, did not end well. Apparently, he is too busy and does not even have the time to impress them and make their relationship work. It confused Jaejoong to no end. That just cannot be true. He does not understand what they meant because clearly, Yunho did everything he could to impress him and surprisingly, Yunho always has time for him.
What were they complaining about?
From that moment on, he has decided that if Yunho is as determined as he claims himself to be, he will give him a chance. If those people do not want Yunho, then he will gladly take him. He will take care of him and shower him with the love he deserves.
"Welcome home," Jaejoong greets as soon as he swings the door open. They might not be living together, but home is wherever they both are. He smiles as Yunho envelopes him in a hug. He takes the sunglasses off his face and frowns at his red eyes. "You need to sleep. Come on, bath or food first?"
Yunho shuts the door close and hugs him closer. "You first. I missed you, baby."
"I missed you too," he replies, rubbing the other's back for comfort. "Okay, Prince Charming, sit on the couch while I go get the food. I'll feed you." Detaching himself from the whiny star, he flashes him a smile and presses a soft kiss on his cheek before walking off to the kitchen.
Yunho worries him a lot. Judging by how red and tired his eyes look, the man has not had any decent sleep yet, or if any at all. As soon as he finished feeding his very clingy boyfriend, he pushes him to the bathroom to freshen himself up. Yunho emerges from the bathroom exactly six minutes after and Jaejoong pulls him to his bedroom where he cuddles with him.
"You're the best boyfriend one could ever have. I'm so lucky to have you." He chuckles, stroking Yunho's cheek as the latter nuzzles his neck.
"I could say the same thing. Sleep now, Yunhoyah."
"No way. I have things to tell you."
"Oh yeah? Things like what?"
He feels Yunho pressing kisses on his neck once in a while. "Things. Random things about us that we have never told anyone before. An exclusive interview with Jung Yunho, how's that sound? You can post it up your fansite, too."
A smile spreads across his face. "That would be the first time a fansite would actually get to interview a celebrity. That would be really odd, Yunho. Just tell me what you're going to say."
"Partypooper." Yunho bites his shoulder playfully, which earns him a smack on the arm. "Changmin and I were supposed to debut with the name The Rulers. I know, pathetic. The producer thought it was funny which, by the way, was not."
"Why that, though?"
"He said Changmin and I are as straight as rulers, and that we are going to rule every ovary girls own. I was very much against it because first and foremost, who even gave him the idea that we were straight? I know I wasn't."
Jaejoong grins as he hugs the ranting superstar's head. "You saved yourself from embarrassment. Good job, Yunhoyah." He listens as Yunho continues ranting with a rather loud voice that soon turns into mumbles. Eventually, the stressed out superstar dozes off, lips slightly apart as he snores lightly.
A month and a half has passed, and the couple is still going strong. Their relationship is still kept a secret, although there have been rumors. Some people are speculating things, especially Yunho's fans.The fact that there were times when the two were seen in public together, seemingly very close, have piqued their interest. A few may have even attempted to stalk them.
Jaejoong still gets hate messages, the number of members on his fansite still decrease and increase albeit slowly, but that is okay, he guesses, because it is a part of being in a relationship with a celebrity (even if they have not confirmed anything to the public yet). His feelings for Yunho have definitely gotten stronger while Yunho's feelings have intensified. He now bravely tells him I love you every chance he gets, and he feels butterflies in his stomach every time he hears him say so.
"I'm on my way. Yes, darling, I found your bag. It's under the couch, and don't ask me how it ended up there because I don't know. Yes, yes, I know Yunho. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hangs up with a sigh. Yunho has always been forgetful. Now that he spends more time in Jaejoong and Junsu's shared house more than his own, most of his things are in there, just like the bag he thought he lost. Good thing Jaejoong is only lazing around for the day so he has time to bring it to Yunho's agency, where the owner is.
He kneels on the floor and leans down, reaching out under the couch. With a huge grin, he takes a hold of the strap and pulls it out, hissing when the contents of the bag accidentally spill out. "Why did he leave it unzipped anyway?" he grumbles, sullenly putting the things back inside. His eyes widen when he sees an awfully familiar black notebook lying on the floor. He is afraid to pick it up but he does anyway. He opens it with a shaky hand, turning page after page furiously, reading the entries.
It is his diary.
His diary that was inside Yunho's bag. Why it was there, he does not know. But what he knows is that Yunho lied to him. He already had a feeling that Yunho has it and when the latter denied it, he chose to believe him, thinking that there was no reason for Yunho to lie to him. If anything, he feels betrayed and ridiculed.
Has Yunho read everything yet? Did he laugh at every single entry and think he was pathetic? He wants answers and he is getting them.
He is upset and he does not hesitate to show Yunho that. As soon as he comes barging in Yoochun's office, he throws the bag at Yunho's face. Sensing the tense atmosphere, both Yoochun and Changmin leave to give the couple their much needed privacy.
"Explain." He speaks through gritted teeth. He takes a step back when Yunho tries to approach him. "Don't. Don't come near me. You're not my favourite person right now."
Yunho frowns. "What are you talking about?"
He scoffs. "Why don't you take a look inside your bag. Go ahead and look."
The taller man complies, picking up the bag on the floor and opens, his head snapping towards Jaejoong's direction once he realizes what is happening. "J-jaejoongie I..."
"Is that why, huh?" Unaware of the tears streaming down his cheeks, Jaejoong walks up to him until they are only a few inches apart. He looks at him straight in the eyes. "This why you know what to do. You know what to say at the right time. You know my favourite food and random things about me that I don't remember telling you or anyone about."
When Yunho pulls him in a hug, he struggles. He pounds his chest hard with his fists repeatedly, trying to get away from his strong hold but to no avail. "Jae, love, please. Please listen to me."
"Why? So you could tell me more lies?" he retorts.
Yunho hugs him tighter. Knowing that it is a hopeless battle, Jaejoong stops struggling, hands falling limply on his sides. "No, baby, my love, no. I had no bad intention at all." He sobs as Yunho places a kiss on his forehead. "I wanted to give it back to you, but I couldn't. Something was stopping me. I didn't want to read it at first, but you really got me curious. Before I knew it, I was reading entry after entry." Hearing that Yunho has read everything, he sobs harder. "I had to. It was the only way I could get to know you."
"You could have asked me what you wanted to know and I would have answered."
"I couldn't! I couldn't, okay? I wanted to but I couldn't." The celebrity heaves out a sigh. "I was a coward. I did things. I... I did things to get close to you."
"What things?" Jaejoong mumbles.
"Awful things."
Truthfully, he is afraid to ask but he knows he has to. "W-what awful things?" Just the fact that Yunho considered it as awful makes him sick to his stomach. He wants to look at Yunho but he cannot make himself to do so anymore. He knows he is going to crumble once he stares into his boyfriend's pleading eyes.
"Remember the wallet I said the staff found? I was the one who found it. It fell off your pocket and I took it just so I have an excuse to see you again. And... the diary... I know it was selfish of me to keep it and invade your privacy but I was so desperate, Jae."
Detaching himself from the teary-eyed celebrity, he wipes the tears off his face and sniffles. "Still, that does not give you the right to read what's supposed to be for my eyes only."
To his surprise, Yunho drops on his knees and begs, "Please don't leave me, Jaejoong. Don't break up with me. I know it was a very stupid thing for me to do but believe me, I did not want to hurt you."
"Tell me, Yunho, what did you feel when you read my diary? Did you think I was pathetic? An idiot for writing those things? Am I a laughing stock to you now?"
Yunho grabs both has hands and holds it firmly. "If there is someone who's an idiot, that would be me. What I felt? I was jealous. When I read your entries about those guys who liked you and the ones you liked, I wondered why I couldn't have met you first, then I'd be in your journal too. As the ordinary me, not the celebrity. I did not read everything, I promise. I love you so much, Jaejoong. You're everything I have ever wanted and needed. I can't lose you like this. I can't lose you at all. My heart won't be able to take it. Please."
Yunho is crying. He could only bite his lip when the taller man pulls him close, hugging him by the waist, his face buried on his stomach as he cries his heart out. "What about me, Yunho? What about my heart?" he replies. "What about how I feel? I feel so humiliated and betrayed."
"I'm sorry." Yunho mumbles over and over like a mantra, his voice muffled by Jaejoong's shirt. The man also buries his face deeper against his stomach.
"How am I supposed to trust you now?" He is itching to run his hand through Yunho's hair, but he refrains himself from doing so. He is hurt and he needs Yunho to understand that.
"I'll do everything you want! Anything! Just don't break up with me please, I love you."
"I'm not going to break up with you, Yunho. We have gone far in this relationship for it to be ruined by something stupid that you did. I know you love me. I feel it all the time. And you never fail to remind me every single hour of every day."
This time, he gives in to his urge and he runs his fingers through Yunho's locks to comfort him. Yunho bursting out in tears was uncalled for and it broke his heart to see his boyfriend like that. His boyfriend who loves him, who always makes him happy, who makes him feel loved and worth it, who looks at him like he is the most precious thing.
His boyfriend whom he loves.
Jaejoong has never told Yunho he loves him. Not even once. He could not say it back just yet because he wants to make sure he means what he feels. It would not be fair to Yunho who is very sincere with his feelings.
"Anything, baby. Say something please," Yunho mumbles one more time, his face still pressed against his middle.
"One thing. I just need you to do one thing for me." He cups Yunho's cheeks and tilts his head a little so they are looking at each other. He wipes the man's tears off with his thumbs and leans down to give him a soft peck on the lips. "My heart broke the moment you broke my trust. Fix it, Yunhoyah. I want you to fix it. I won't call it quits with you but I need a few days off. Give me three days. Don't call me, don't visit me, but expect me to be at your doorstep after the three days are done. Can you do that for me, honey?"
Yunho nods rapidly, seemingly desperate. He places his hands on top of Jaejoong's and squeezes it gently. "Anything at all. I promise. I won't visit, I won't-"
"I know." Jaejoong cuts him off with a smile. "I'm going to go now, okay? And I'll be taking my diary with me. Don't stress yourself out, hmm? We're okay, Yunho. We are, so don't worry about it. I'm serious. Don't worry. I'll come back to you." Once more, he chastely kisses him on the lips before heading out of the office. As soon as the door clicks close, he whispers, "I love you, Yunho."
☆☆☆☆☆
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a/n: ...hello? i'm late, i know. sorry D: one more chapter to go! this was very anti-climactic, i know ;; so sorry about that i just-- ugh
edit: replaced with the proofread version. many thanks to my beta, karaelayne :D
yunho/jaejoong
romance, drama / pg13 / 9/10
Being a fansite master is hard as much as it's fun. And as crazy as it sounds, Jaejoong quit his job two years ago to focus on managing a fansite for the most popular duo in the country, The Punstars.
Jung Yunho is his boyfriend. His secret boyfriend, but still his boyfriend. Both had agreed to keep their relationship a secret for obvious reasons. Yunho didn't want Jaejoong to be mauled by rabid fans and Jaejoong didn't want to ruin Yunho's career. Even if Yunho had assured him that coming out would not ruin anything, Jaejoong could tell that even he is not sure about it.
He gets busy with his photobook just as Yunho gets busy with his drama, which means they only get a chance to see each other twice a week. Luckily, it has not taken its toll on Jaejoong yet. Same thing could not be said for Yunho, though.
"Yunho, no. You cannot sneak off. You're filming, and you're one of the leads." Jaejoong bites his lip as he hears Yunho's groan from the other line. The celebrity called him a few minutes ago to tell him about his plan to ditch filming and go to wherever he is at the moment.
"But Jaejoongie, I need you here. I've been out here in the cold for seven hours now, and Yoochun keeps on giving me the stink eye."
He snorts. "Probably because you're not behaving. You've done great before we met. Why can't you do that now? Stop whining, please."
"But-"
"Yunho." He sighs. The man can be a handful sometimes. "I'm supposed to be your motivation, your inspiration. Stop being silly. If you don't go back to work, it's not only the stink eye Yoochun's going to give you. Tell you what, as soon as I finish what I'm doing and you're still there, I'll give you a visit." He is supposed to go to the print house when he finishes post processing the photos, but with Yunho whining like a kid, it seems like it is not going to happen. He will just have to pray to the heavens that the printing of the photobooks would go smoothly or its release would be delayed and people would complain and some might even get a refund. It sucks that he could not possibly tell them, hey it's your Yunho oppa's fault when he decided to be needy.
"Great! I'll text you the address, and I'll see- No." He blinks when there seems to be some rustling from the other line. "No, he won't." Then he hears Yoochun's voice. "I'm sorry, Jaejoong. We're changing location. We're on our way to Busan, and please don't fall into Yunho's trap. He's being a lazyass today and wants to do nothing but cuddle and steal kisses from you. I know because he's been telling me since dawn. Ugh, that lovesick fool. He's driving me nuts. Do what you have to do and don't worry about him. He'll survive."
Jaejoong chuckles, pulling his legs to his chest as he rests his chin on his knees, highly amused. "Are you sure?"
It is not that he does not want to pay Yunho a visit. He does, but Yunho is working and he does not want to get in the way. If he shows up, Yunho is only going to be distracted, and his co-workers would think that he is slacking off and being unprofessional. Also, he has work to be done.
"Never been sure. Now I'll give the phone back to its needy owner. It was nice talking to you, Jaejoong."
He nods to no one in particular. "Hmm. Nice talking to you too, Yoochun." He smiles, listening to the seemingly arguing voices in the background. It takes a few moments before he is able to hear Yunho's voice again. "You heard the man."
"I hate him sometimes." Yunho grumbles. "Can I quit being a celebrity and just help you with your fansite?"
He laughs. "You don't mean that. If you quit, then who will I be working for? We want you and Changmin together. As duo," he adds quickly, afraid that Yunho would assume that he means it romantically, which he does not. "One can't be without the other. You're a package deal."
"I understand. But I really miss you."
"If it makes you feel better, I miss you too. And I mean it."
Jaejoong struggles to contain his feelings. Everything still seems unreal. He cannot believe he is exchanging I miss you's with someone he really looks up to. What has he done to deserve Yunho? He must have been a good samaritan in his past life.
"It did. Thank you, baby. Two days more and I'm finally free. You know what I'd do the moment the director says cut?"
"What?"
"I'd rush to my car and drive straight to your house."
"I'll have a hot bath and a full course meal ready for you, then."
"You're kidding."
"I'm not," he replies, "I meant what I said. If you decide to drop by here first, I'll have those ready for you and then we'll cuddle when you're sated."
A week ago, when Yunho was still in the process of wooing him, he received a call from Yoochun asking him if they could meet. So they did, secretly that is. Since it seemed that Yunho is really serious about him, it is only right to give him the talk. Yoochun had told him how Yunho is as a celebrity and as a person. Being in the industry for eight years, stardom is not doing Yunho good anymore. To his love life, at least. Yunho might be the leader type but that did not mean he does not need anyone to take care of him, to protect him and give him some loving. Sure he goes on dates, but most of them were blind dates that ended in a disaster. He did have a few lovers in the past but those, too, did not end well. Apparently, he is too busy and does not even have the time to impress them and make their relationship work. It confused Jaejoong to no end. That just cannot be true. He does not understand what they meant because clearly, Yunho did everything he could to impress him and surprisingly, Yunho always has time for him.
What were they complaining about?
From that moment on, he has decided that if Yunho is as determined as he claims himself to be, he will give him a chance. If those people do not want Yunho, then he will gladly take him. He will take care of him and shower him with the love he deserves.
"Welcome home," Jaejoong greets as soon as he swings the door open. They might not be living together, but home is wherever they both are. He smiles as Yunho envelopes him in a hug. He takes the sunglasses off his face and frowns at his red eyes. "You need to sleep. Come on, bath or food first?"
Yunho shuts the door close and hugs him closer. "You first. I missed you, baby."
"I missed you too," he replies, rubbing the other's back for comfort. "Okay, Prince Charming, sit on the couch while I go get the food. I'll feed you." Detaching himself from the whiny star, he flashes him a smile and presses a soft kiss on his cheek before walking off to the kitchen.
Yunho worries him a lot. Judging by how red and tired his eyes look, the man has not had any decent sleep yet, or if any at all. As soon as he finished feeding his very clingy boyfriend, he pushes him to the bathroom to freshen himself up. Yunho emerges from the bathroom exactly six minutes after and Jaejoong pulls him to his bedroom where he cuddles with him.
"You're the best boyfriend one could ever have. I'm so lucky to have you." He chuckles, stroking Yunho's cheek as the latter nuzzles his neck.
"I could say the same thing. Sleep now, Yunhoyah."
"No way. I have things to tell you."
"Oh yeah? Things like what?"
He feels Yunho pressing kisses on his neck once in a while. "Things. Random things about us that we have never told anyone before. An exclusive interview with Jung Yunho, how's that sound? You can post it up your fansite, too."
A smile spreads across his face. "That would be the first time a fansite would actually get to interview a celebrity. That would be really odd, Yunho. Just tell me what you're going to say."
"Partypooper." Yunho bites his shoulder playfully, which earns him a smack on the arm. "Changmin and I were supposed to debut with the name The Rulers. I know, pathetic. The producer thought it was funny which, by the way, was not."
"Why that, though?"
"He said Changmin and I are as straight as rulers, and that we are going to rule every ovary girls own. I was very much against it because first and foremost, who even gave him the idea that we were straight? I know I wasn't."
Jaejoong grins as he hugs the ranting superstar's head. "You saved yourself from embarrassment. Good job, Yunhoyah." He listens as Yunho continues ranting with a rather loud voice that soon turns into mumbles. Eventually, the stressed out superstar dozes off, lips slightly apart as he snores lightly.
A month and a half has passed, and the couple is still going strong. Their relationship is still kept a secret, although there have been rumors. Some people are speculating things, especially Yunho's fans.The fact that there were times when the two were seen in public together, seemingly very close, have piqued their interest. A few may have even attempted to stalk them.
Jaejoong still gets hate messages, the number of members on his fansite still decrease and increase albeit slowly, but that is okay, he guesses, because it is a part of being in a relationship with a celebrity (even if they have not confirmed anything to the public yet). His feelings for Yunho have definitely gotten stronger while Yunho's feelings have intensified. He now bravely tells him I love you every chance he gets, and he feels butterflies in his stomach every time he hears him say so.
"I'm on my way. Yes, darling, I found your bag. It's under the couch, and don't ask me how it ended up there because I don't know. Yes, yes, I know Yunho. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hangs up with a sigh. Yunho has always been forgetful. Now that he spends more time in Jaejoong and Junsu's shared house more than his own, most of his things are in there, just like the bag he thought he lost. Good thing Jaejoong is only lazing around for the day so he has time to bring it to Yunho's agency, where the owner is.
He kneels on the floor and leans down, reaching out under the couch. With a huge grin, he takes a hold of the strap and pulls it out, hissing when the contents of the bag accidentally spill out. "Why did he leave it unzipped anyway?" he grumbles, sullenly putting the things back inside. His eyes widen when he sees an awfully familiar black notebook lying on the floor. He is afraid to pick it up but he does anyway. He opens it with a shaky hand, turning page after page furiously, reading the entries.
It is his diary.
His diary that was inside Yunho's bag. Why it was there, he does not know. But what he knows is that Yunho lied to him. He already had a feeling that Yunho has it and when the latter denied it, he chose to believe him, thinking that there was no reason for Yunho to lie to him. If anything, he feels betrayed and ridiculed.
Has Yunho read everything yet? Did he laugh at every single entry and think he was pathetic? He wants answers and he is getting them.
He is upset and he does not hesitate to show Yunho that. As soon as he comes barging in Yoochun's office, he throws the bag at Yunho's face. Sensing the tense atmosphere, both Yoochun and Changmin leave to give the couple their much needed privacy.
"Explain." He speaks through gritted teeth. He takes a step back when Yunho tries to approach him. "Don't. Don't come near me. You're not my favourite person right now."
Yunho frowns. "What are you talking about?"
He scoffs. "Why don't you take a look inside your bag. Go ahead and look."
The taller man complies, picking up the bag on the floor and opens, his head snapping towards Jaejoong's direction once he realizes what is happening. "J-jaejoongie I..."
"Is that why, huh?" Unaware of the tears streaming down his cheeks, Jaejoong walks up to him until they are only a few inches apart. He looks at him straight in the eyes. "This why you know what to do. You know what to say at the right time. You know my favourite food and random things about me that I don't remember telling you or anyone about."
When Yunho pulls him in a hug, he struggles. He pounds his chest hard with his fists repeatedly, trying to get away from his strong hold but to no avail. "Jae, love, please. Please listen to me."
"Why? So you could tell me more lies?" he retorts.
Yunho hugs him tighter. Knowing that it is a hopeless battle, Jaejoong stops struggling, hands falling limply on his sides. "No, baby, my love, no. I had no bad intention at all." He sobs as Yunho places a kiss on his forehead. "I wanted to give it back to you, but I couldn't. Something was stopping me. I didn't want to read it at first, but you really got me curious. Before I knew it, I was reading entry after entry." Hearing that Yunho has read everything, he sobs harder. "I had to. It was the only way I could get to know you."
"You could have asked me what you wanted to know and I would have answered."
"I couldn't! I couldn't, okay? I wanted to but I couldn't." The celebrity heaves out a sigh. "I was a coward. I did things. I... I did things to get close to you."
"What things?" Jaejoong mumbles.
"Awful things."
Truthfully, he is afraid to ask but he knows he has to. "W-what awful things?" Just the fact that Yunho considered it as awful makes him sick to his stomach. He wants to look at Yunho but he cannot make himself to do so anymore. He knows he is going to crumble once he stares into his boyfriend's pleading eyes.
"Remember the wallet I said the staff found? I was the one who found it. It fell off your pocket and I took it just so I have an excuse to see you again. And... the diary... I know it was selfish of me to keep it and invade your privacy but I was so desperate, Jae."
Detaching himself from the teary-eyed celebrity, he wipes the tears off his face and sniffles. "Still, that does not give you the right to read what's supposed to be for my eyes only."
To his surprise, Yunho drops on his knees and begs, "Please don't leave me, Jaejoong. Don't break up with me. I know it was a very stupid thing for me to do but believe me, I did not want to hurt you."
"Tell me, Yunho, what did you feel when you read my diary? Did you think I was pathetic? An idiot for writing those things? Am I a laughing stock to you now?"
Yunho grabs both has hands and holds it firmly. "If there is someone who's an idiot, that would be me. What I felt? I was jealous. When I read your entries about those guys who liked you and the ones you liked, I wondered why I couldn't have met you first, then I'd be in your journal too. As the ordinary me, not the celebrity. I did not read everything, I promise. I love you so much, Jaejoong. You're everything I have ever wanted and needed. I can't lose you like this. I can't lose you at all. My heart won't be able to take it. Please."
Yunho is crying. He could only bite his lip when the taller man pulls him close, hugging him by the waist, his face buried on his stomach as he cries his heart out. "What about me, Yunho? What about my heart?" he replies. "What about how I feel? I feel so humiliated and betrayed."
"I'm sorry." Yunho mumbles over and over like a mantra, his voice muffled by Jaejoong's shirt. The man also buries his face deeper against his stomach.
"How am I supposed to trust you now?" He is itching to run his hand through Yunho's hair, but he refrains himself from doing so. He is hurt and he needs Yunho to understand that.
"I'll do everything you want! Anything! Just don't break up with me please, I love you."
"I'm not going to break up with you, Yunho. We have gone far in this relationship for it to be ruined by something stupid that you did. I know you love me. I feel it all the time. And you never fail to remind me every single hour of every day."
This time, he gives in to his urge and he runs his fingers through Yunho's locks to comfort him. Yunho bursting out in tears was uncalled for and it broke his heart to see his boyfriend like that. His boyfriend who loves him, who always makes him happy, who makes him feel loved and worth it, who looks at him like he is the most precious thing.
His boyfriend whom he loves.
Jaejoong has never told Yunho he loves him. Not even once. He could not say it back just yet because he wants to make sure he means what he feels. It would not be fair to Yunho who is very sincere with his feelings.
"Anything, baby. Say something please," Yunho mumbles one more time, his face still pressed against his middle.
"One thing. I just need you to do one thing for me." He cups Yunho's cheeks and tilts his head a little so they are looking at each other. He wipes the man's tears off with his thumbs and leans down to give him a soft peck on the lips. "My heart broke the moment you broke my trust. Fix it, Yunhoyah. I want you to fix it. I won't call it quits with you but I need a few days off. Give me three days. Don't call me, don't visit me, but expect me to be at your doorstep after the three days are done. Can you do that for me, honey?"
Yunho nods rapidly, seemingly desperate. He places his hands on top of Jaejoong's and squeezes it gently. "Anything at all. I promise. I won't visit, I won't-"
"I know." Jaejoong cuts him off with a smile. "I'm going to go now, okay? And I'll be taking my diary with me. Don't stress yourself out, hmm? We're okay, Yunho. We are, so don't worry about it. I'm serious. Don't worry. I'll come back to you." Once more, he chastely kisses him on the lips before heading out of the office. As soon as the door clicks close, he whispers, "I love you, Yunho."
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a/n: ...hello? i'm late, i know. sorry D: one more chapter to go! this was very anti-climactic, i know ;; so sorry about that i just-- ugh
edit: replaced with the proofread version. many thanks to my beta, karaelayne :D