I smell like a stripper
Probably because I'm wearing what I wore last night to Gulfport. You read right, Gulfport. It was my first strip clubbing experience and it was a blast. Andy, Mike, Blowe, Kelly, and I went to the three strip clubs and had quite a lovely time. And you know, I've heard people badmouth the Gulfport scene, but the girls that danced for us were pretty good for the most part. This one was acrobatic as hell. She was the only one who gave a decent girl-on-girl lap dance. She also picked up a dollar bill off of Blowe's nose with her ass cheeks. Hot. The girl after her sat on my lap and was bouncing up and down. I'm sure it would've felt pleasant if I had a penis, but I lack that key part. I did not put my hard earned dollar in her g-string to have her hopping up and down on my nonexistent junk. But, it was a good time. There was some skinny broad who gave Andy a sternum sandwich. You know, when strippers have big boobs and they slam your head into their chest? Yeah, well this less-than-a-cup broad did it to Andy. Several times. I thought she was going to break his nose. Kelly was drunk as hell and carried a flask with her and into the bars to ensure maximum belligerency. We were all about ready to kill her before we even reached the bar though. Then the entire time we were there, she was on her cell phone or playing kissy face with Blowe. Whatever. There were boobies on stage! Oh, yeah and Blowe kept asking when Kelly and I were gonna make out. Yeah. Not so much. Not even getting that triangle started. Mama didn't raise no fool. But, now I'm safe and sound and at work with O hours of sleep. It's cool, I have all afternoon after the tour show.
And I had the most fun at Dan Tieken's scavenger hunt. It was a day for first experiences. It was such a blast doing all sorts of crazy things, methodically planning for efficiency, etc. He and Shawn put so much time and money into it and it was beyond worth it. I was exhausted and reeked of Hormel chili.
Time for sunrise breakfast. Yeah, biscuits and gravy.
And I had the most fun at Dan Tieken's scavenger hunt. It was a day for first experiences. It was such a blast doing all sorts of crazy things, methodically planning for efficiency, etc. He and Shawn put so much time and money into it and it was beyond worth it. I was exhausted and reeked of Hormel chili.
Time for sunrise breakfast. Yeah, biscuits and gravy.