Finding the rest of yourself after you've discovered all of your bear....

[kingfuraday]

Last night I was working at the bar and I wasn't really feeling cranky but I just had a lot on my mind and my wheels were in motion I guess you could say. It keeps coming up and appearing at different times and the effects of my dealing with it can be seen here and there in the way I've been living my life of late. Wow, that's vague! You'll have

Comments

[snapperboy]

We need both: places where we're mixed into the crowd and places where we're not. And there's nothing gay or bearish about those things; they're observable in most of the human population. There are pick up bars of all varieties, dance bars of all varieties, neighborhood bars of all kinds. We tend to segregate ourselves into affinity groups.

Most of my life is so integrated that when I want to kick back, I prefer a place where I can be as completely myself as possible. Just last night my partner and I went to a Mexican restaurant we'd never been to before. The meal wasn't great but what really made us pack up and leave were the looks we were getting from other tables and the whispered comments. I'm 45 years old and been at this too long to get bent out of shape about it, but we did choose to remove ourselves from it. And we won't go back to it. I can get experience any day of the week in my everyday life-- which encourages me to seek out and sometimes prefer places where that experience is minimized.

Is that the same thing as what you're talking about?

[kingfuraday]

I see where you're coming from on your first point and maybe I take that part of my life for granted. I'm out wherever I go and at the workplace. If someone gave me a weird look I'd give them on right back along the lines of "go to hell you stupid fuck". My life is too short for segregation.

Ha - but as I type that i think back to Saturday night and saying "I don't want to see that movie because there will be too many kids in the audience and kids and I don't mix". hehe... comfort zones.

I can see needing a place where you can totally be yourself and not have someone look down their nose at you for it. Perhaps that's what my buddy was getting at. I'm just a pollyanna though - I want that place to be everywhere I go.