Jokes
A blonde calls her boyfriend on his cell and says, "Please come over here and help me. I
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her
boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and
shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies
the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then..." he sighes, ............... "let's put all these
Frosted Flakes back in the box.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ....... and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with al! l the trimmings.
The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
Double pane windows
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the
contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and
I had yet to pay for the windows. Boy oh boy, did we go around!
Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me
last year ... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I
haven't heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her
boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and
shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies
the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then..." he sighes, ............... "let's put all these
Frosted Flakes back in the box.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ....... and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with al! l the trimmings.
The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
Double pane windows
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the
contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and
I had yet to pay for the windows. Boy oh boy, did we go around!
Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me
last year ... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I
haven't heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument.