Null & void..
Uggggh~!
I have this feeling of nothing just sitting in the pit of my stomach & it's just eating way all the good thoughts I've ever had.. My emotions are fried I dont know how to feel or how I should be feeling..
It's as if my life has staled, that I'd rather sleep for a life time then do anything even thou I know I should be doing something so I can make a good life for myself.. Yet how can I do that when I'm never encouraged & if I am my step-dad makes me feel worthless..
Not to mention the fact I'm moving AGAIN~! which adds to my stress that I've broken out & nothibg is working.. I have soo many things to do yet I don't want to do them which will mean they will get done last min...
Also I feel used.. Totally & emotionly used.. As if I put a 100% in & barely have any of it returned.. Do I have emotional doormat written on my face?? I try & help ppl (I'm an idiot that way) & when they seem to be better I don't get a thank you.. I don't get the feelings returned.. I'm left kneeling & holding the broken pieces.. Which is usually my own life crumbling away.. Oh & I've gained 2kilos.. Which ain't much you say but it's a fuck load to me...
Which way to turn... Where am I headed in life.. Where to go from here... That is replaying over & over in my OVER CACULATING MIND~! every detail every fail of my life is fucking me over & I can't seem to break free..
That is my mind & my life.. & my rant for today..
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