(no subject)
Title: The Adventures of Demyx and his Lama
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.) His name is Steve.
Origin: Castle Oblivion? a three year old?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters…
Special Abilities: Larxene can make really bad pig tails and apparently Demyx can unhinge his jaw like a naga and eat 20 waffles at once!
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. Axel joins him this time.
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1 and 2 are already up.
Sample:
We open on the theater which is half in ruins to find Axel sitting and drinking a fountain soda. Demyx looks like he’s seen better days. Xemnas and Zexion appear through portals of darkness.
Axel: Still avoiding you huh?
Xemnas: When this is over, I am going to have to chain all of you together so I can find you. Too much free will.
Zexion: Why must I return to this monstrosity? I was busy.
Demyx: With what?
Zexion: Your demise. What happened to you?
Axel: Nothing right pal?
Demyx: *nods violently*
The title of the next chapter flashes across the screen.
Chapter Three
Waffles!
We open with the author’s note about not owning anything but waffles. Yay waffles? We then come into the “lunch hall”
Everyone was at the lunch hall Axel Demyx Zexion and Larxene were sitting at the same table.
Xemnas: I wonder just how many periods are missing. This is getting ridiculous.
Zexion: That is one of the most unlikely situations I have ever heard.
Axel: And you with Larxene isn’t?
Zexion: I hope you were in a lot of pain when you vanished.
Axel: Feh. At least I made the second game.
“I love waffles!” Demyx said cramming twenty waffles in his mouth at one time.
Demyx: What the... Does my jaw unhinge?
Axel: Oh God… Naga’s. *shudders*
Xemnas: I don’t think I want to know.
“Demyx if you keep eating like that you’re going to get choked!” Larxene said once again messing up Zexion’s hair.
Axel: ‘Get’ choked? And besides. Why would Larxene care. She’d just laught at you whilst you lay there dieing.
Demyx: She did once. She’s so mean…
Zexion: What is with my hair?
Axel: It’s a fetish obviously.
Zexion: *pales*
“Ah what hair style do we have today Larxene?” Zexion said sarcastically hoping that it’s not pig tails. “PIG TAILS!!!!!!!!!” Larxene replied very proud of her amazing ability to make the dumbest pig tails on earth.
Zexion: I… I would not sit there and take this! In fact, I refuse to even do it now! *stands to leave*
Xemnas: *pulls back into seat* If I have to suffer, you will suffer with me!
“oh geez” Zexion said eating his waffles.
Zexion: I will never eat waffles again.
Axel: You like waffles?
Zexion: What's that supposed to mean?
Axel: I don’t know. The way you are, I always sorta imagined you as a prunes and spinach type.
Zexion: Enjoy sleeping tonight.
Axel: What’s that supposed to mean?
Zexion: Nothing at all.
“enough of this I’m getting more waffles!” Demyx said with syrup all over his face.
Axel: What did you do? Dunk your face in a bowl of syrup?
Demyx: I don’t know. Perhaps when I was shoving those waffles in my mouth, I was actually shoving them against my face, and only a small bit of them made it into my mouth.
Axel: Makes more sense at least.
“he’s getting more waffles? He just had 25!!” Axel said imagining Demyx exploding from to many waffles. “I know! He’s gonna explode!” Xemnas said from the next table over.
Axel: I think that statement was redundant because it sounded redundant which may just mean it’s redundant.
Xemnas: Who wrote this? I’m going to banish her to darkness!
Demyx: I thought I only stuffed twenty in my mouth. Where did those extra five come from?
Axel: The world that never was.
Demyx: Makes sense.
Axel: In fangirlese? Yep.
“that would be awesome” Zexion said trying not to pass out from the hairspray that Larxene was using.
Zexion: Much as I disagree with the way it was stated, I agree.
Demyx: I hate you!
Zexion: Feelings mutual.
“DONE! Well what do you think?” Larxene was finished with her pig tails and was waiting for Demyx to get back so that she could mess up his hair.
Demyx: Wait. She wants to do mine now? Run me! Run like the wind! Don’t come back!
“Hey guys what did I- WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOTHER OF PEARL!?! HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!” Demyx said nearly choking on his waffles.
All: …
Axel: Ok. I’m starting a drinking game. Every time this brat says mother of pearl, you drink half a bottle of vodka.
Xemnas: Half?
Axel: Stories too damn short to depend on much of a buzz from a shot.
Xemnas: Vodka's strong.
Axel: This story is short!
Xemnas: Not short enough sadly.
“It’s my new hair style like it?” Zexion said sarcastically desperately trying to remove the pig tails.
Zexion: Xemnas. I will serve you loyally if you let me join you to kill the creator of this monstrosity.
Xemnas: I’ll consider it.
“cute. So are you two like dating now?” Demyx asked.
Zexion: *blanch* I am far to smart to do something as stupid as that!
“WHAT?!” Larxene said trying to help Zexion who was now choking on his soda thanks to Demyx.
Zexion: Since that me is OOC, I demand it now murder Demyx!
“HAAHAHAH!!!!”
Axel was gasping for breath cracking up from the whole thing. “What (Cough) are
(Cough) you (Cough) talking (Cough) about!?!? (COUGH)” Zexion said still choking he tried to get the words out.
Xemnas: What grade is the fan brat in? Third?
Axel: Hmm. Nothing in the profile. Well. Being as she’s got the hots for Demyx, I’m assuming middle school at the least.
Xemnas: There definitely needs to be some changes in the educational system.
Demyx: And a sever beating for every bad fanfic written!
Zexion: On this, I agree.
Demyx then gives Zexion a drink to help his choking even though he was choking on his DRINK and then Zexion and Larxene deny the charges accusations that they are dating. Apparently, Demyx doubts this.
Zexion: Is that so?
Demyx: I doubt nothing!
Axel: He’s lying.
Demyx: Am not!!!
“Zexion and Larxene sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G!” Axel shouted trying to start trouble.
Axel: *stands and points angrily at the screen* I AM NOT CHILDISH AT ALL!
Demyx: Well. I wouldn’t say that.
Axel: *summons chakrams* What was that!?
Demyx: Nothing. *shrinks in seat*
Axel: Damn straight!
“HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!” everyone in the lunch hall started laughing even Superior.
Xemnas: *stares angrily at the screen* I would not laugh. When have I ever given the appearance of a sense of humor? When I laugh, it is an insidious chuckle at the thought of someone’s demise or stupidity if not both.
Axel: You realize you just half insulted yourself?
Xemnas: You will stop talking now.
Axel: Right.
“Axel! Why did you do that!?!?!?!” Demyx said trying to contain his laughter. “Because I could! HAHAHA!” Axel replied.
Axel: *air begins to distort around him*
Xemnas: Demyx. Cool him off.
Demyx: But then he’ll be mad at ME!
Xemnas: Do it!
Demyx: *drenches Axel in water*
Axel: *glares* I need to set things on FIRE!
Xemnas: Do it when I’m not around.
“Oh geez! Well I’m done eating! C’ya later guys” Zexion said storming of to his room.
Demyx: Of to his room?
Zexion: That’s a code for suicide.
Axel: Oh no. We’ll miss ya.
Zexion: *takes small cup of water and pours it on Axels head*
Axel: Did you know I hate you?
Zexion: Yes.
Axel: Good. Just making sure.
“Me too…” Larxene added running to her room as fast as she could. “Now look what you did!” Demyx said to upset at Axel to finish waffles.
Xemnas: That sentence failed. Miserably.
Zexion: Yes. It did.
Axel: Well you failed in shaking up with your girl.
Zexion: I hope you die in this story.
“What did I do!?!” Axel replied as if he didn’t do anything. “Come on Steve” Demyx said to his newly named lama.
Axel: Steve?
Demyx: Hmm. If I had a llama, I would name it… Mallax! Yeah. That’s it!
Axel: So your llama is a llama that had a strong heart so it became a nobody?
Demyx: It’s plausible.
Axel: Just unlikely. And retarded. I think you’ve been exposed to these things for too long.
Demyx: Does that mean I get to take a break?
Axel: Are you kidding? The management enjoys our suffering/brain damage.
Xemnas: They must.
“you named it?” Axel said. “Yes and now I’m going to train him.. Bye!” Demyx replied as he took his lama with him to his room.
Axel: Can you train a llama?
Demyx: Eww! I’m keeping it in my room? That’s unsanitary.
Axel: The mess in your room is unsanitary.
Xemnas: Really? Have I not specified complete and total order to the point of no personal possessions?
Axel: Like the lack of beds?
Demyx: Well I…
Axel: Busted!
The authors note shows asking what she’s done.
Xemnas: Succumbed to something worse than darkness? Like stupidity?
Axel: Bashed her head into the sidewalk ten too many times?
Demyx: Lost her knowledge of how to write?
Zexion: She probably didn’t have any to begin with.
Demyx: Point.
Xemnas: I’m leaving.
Zexion: Seconded.
Demyx: I guess I’ll go clean my room. *pout*
Axel: See you guys next chapter.
Demyx, Zexion and Xemnas leave through portals of darkness. Axel sits back and begins setting chairs in the theater on fire.
Chapter 4, 5 and 6 are up.
Author: Demyxfangirll
Rating:
One for really bad grammar and composition, one for all the OOCness, and one for a horrible storyline. Honestly, it's not bad in a scary way. It's just not a good fanfic is all.
Full Name (including any titles): Demyx, Axel, Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene
Full Species(es): Rabid Fangirlus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Not actually mentioned. Assumed canon
Special Possessions (if any): A Lama! (No. Sadly, there’s no llama.) His name is Steve.
Origin: Castle Oblivion? a three year old?
Connections To Canon Characters: I’m told they are supposed to be the characters…
Special Abilities: Larxene can make really bad pig tails and apparently Demyx can unhinge his jaw like a naga and eat 20 waffles at once!
Other Annoying Traits: Demyx remains stupid. Axel joins him this time.
I Say/Notes: Beta’s exist for a reason
Also. This is my first time sporking. Hope I’m not too bad! And sorry if it is teh suck! Chapter 1 and 2 are already up.
Sample:
We open on the theater which is half in ruins to find Axel sitting and drinking a fountain soda. Demyx looks like he’s seen better days. Xemnas and Zexion appear through portals of darkness.
Axel: Still avoiding you huh?
Xemnas: When this is over, I am going to have to chain all of you together so I can find you. Too much free will.
Zexion: Why must I return to this monstrosity? I was busy.
Demyx: With what?
Zexion: Your demise. What happened to you?
Axel: Nothing right pal?
Demyx: *nods violently*
The title of the next chapter flashes across the screen.
Chapter Three
Waffles!
We open with the author’s note about not owning anything but waffles. Yay waffles? We then come into the “lunch hall”
Everyone was at the lunch hall Axel Demyx Zexion and Larxene were sitting at the same table.
Xemnas: I wonder just how many periods are missing. This is getting ridiculous.
Zexion: That is one of the most unlikely situations I have ever heard.
Axel: And you with Larxene isn’t?
Zexion: I hope you were in a lot of pain when you vanished.
Axel: Feh. At least I made the second game.
“I love waffles!” Demyx said cramming twenty waffles in his mouth at one time.
Demyx: What the... Does my jaw unhinge?
Axel: Oh God… Naga’s. *shudders*
Xemnas: I don’t think I want to know.
“Demyx if you keep eating like that you’re going to get choked!” Larxene said once again messing up Zexion’s hair.
Axel: ‘Get’ choked? And besides. Why would Larxene care. She’d just laught at you whilst you lay there dieing.
Demyx: She did once. She’s so mean…
Zexion: What is with my hair?
Axel: It’s a fetish obviously.
Zexion: *pales*
“Ah what hair style do we have today Larxene?” Zexion said sarcastically hoping that it’s not pig tails. “PIG TAILS!!!!!!!!!” Larxene replied very proud of her amazing ability to make the dumbest pig tails on earth.
Zexion: I… I would not sit there and take this! In fact, I refuse to even do it now! *stands to leave*
Xemnas: *pulls back into seat* If I have to suffer, you will suffer with me!
“oh geez” Zexion said eating his waffles.
Zexion: I will never eat waffles again.
Axel: You like waffles?
Zexion: What's that supposed to mean?
Axel: I don’t know. The way you are, I always sorta imagined you as a prunes and spinach type.
Zexion: Enjoy sleeping tonight.
Axel: What’s that supposed to mean?
Zexion: Nothing at all.
“enough of this I’m getting more waffles!” Demyx said with syrup all over his face.
Axel: What did you do? Dunk your face in a bowl of syrup?
Demyx: I don’t know. Perhaps when I was shoving those waffles in my mouth, I was actually shoving them against my face, and only a small bit of them made it into my mouth.
Axel: Makes more sense at least.
“he’s getting more waffles? He just had 25!!” Axel said imagining Demyx exploding from to many waffles. “I know! He’s gonna explode!” Xemnas said from the next table over.
Axel: I think that statement was redundant because it sounded redundant which may just mean it’s redundant.
Xemnas: Who wrote this? I’m going to banish her to darkness!
Demyx: I thought I only stuffed twenty in my mouth. Where did those extra five come from?
Axel: The world that never was.
Demyx: Makes sense.
Axel: In fangirlese? Yep.
“that would be awesome” Zexion said trying not to pass out from the hairspray that Larxene was using.
Zexion: Much as I disagree with the way it was stated, I agree.
Demyx: I hate you!
Zexion: Feelings mutual.
“DONE! Well what do you think?” Larxene was finished with her pig tails and was waiting for Demyx to get back so that she could mess up his hair.
Demyx: Wait. She wants to do mine now? Run me! Run like the wind! Don’t come back!
“Hey guys what did I- WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOTHER OF PEARL!?! HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!” Demyx said nearly choking on his waffles.
All: …
Axel: Ok. I’m starting a drinking game. Every time this brat says mother of pearl, you drink half a bottle of vodka.
Xemnas: Half?
Axel: Stories too damn short to depend on much of a buzz from a shot.
Xemnas: Vodka's strong.
Axel: This story is short!
Xemnas: Not short enough sadly.
“It’s my new hair style like it?” Zexion said sarcastically desperately trying to remove the pig tails.
Zexion: Xemnas. I will serve you loyally if you let me join you to kill the creator of this monstrosity.
Xemnas: I’ll consider it.
“cute. So are you two like dating now?” Demyx asked.
Zexion: *blanch* I am far to smart to do something as stupid as that!
“WHAT?!” Larxene said trying to help Zexion who was now choking on his soda thanks to Demyx.
Zexion: Since that me is OOC, I demand it now murder Demyx!
“HAAHAHAH!!!!”
Axel was gasping for breath cracking up from the whole thing. “What (Cough) are
(Cough) you (Cough) talking (Cough) about!?!? (COUGH)” Zexion said still choking he tried to get the words out.
Xemnas: What grade is the fan brat in? Third?
Axel: Hmm. Nothing in the profile. Well. Being as she’s got the hots for Demyx, I’m assuming middle school at the least.
Xemnas: There definitely needs to be some changes in the educational system.
Demyx: And a sever beating for every bad fanfic written!
Zexion: On this, I agree.
Demyx then gives Zexion a drink to help his choking even though he was choking on his DRINK and then Zexion and Larxene deny the charges accusations that they are dating. Apparently, Demyx doubts this.
Zexion: Is that so?
Demyx: I doubt nothing!
Axel: He’s lying.
Demyx: Am not!!!
“Zexion and Larxene sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G!” Axel shouted trying to start trouble.
Axel: *stands and points angrily at the screen* I AM NOT CHILDISH AT ALL!
Demyx: Well. I wouldn’t say that.
Axel: *summons chakrams* What was that!?
Demyx: Nothing. *shrinks in seat*
Axel: Damn straight!
“HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!” everyone in the lunch hall started laughing even Superior.
Xemnas: *stares angrily at the screen* I would not laugh. When have I ever given the appearance of a sense of humor? When I laugh, it is an insidious chuckle at the thought of someone’s demise or stupidity if not both.
Axel: You realize you just half insulted yourself?
Xemnas: You will stop talking now.
Axel: Right.
“Axel! Why did you do that!?!?!?!” Demyx said trying to contain his laughter. “Because I could! HAHAHA!” Axel replied.
Axel: *air begins to distort around him*
Xemnas: Demyx. Cool him off.
Demyx: But then he’ll be mad at ME!
Xemnas: Do it!
Demyx: *drenches Axel in water*
Axel: *glares* I need to set things on FIRE!
Xemnas: Do it when I’m not around.
“Oh geez! Well I’m done eating! C’ya later guys” Zexion said storming of to his room.
Demyx: Of to his room?
Zexion: That’s a code for suicide.
Axel: Oh no. We’ll miss ya.
Zexion: *takes small cup of water and pours it on Axels head*
Axel: Did you know I hate you?
Zexion: Yes.
Axel: Good. Just making sure.
“Me too…” Larxene added running to her room as fast as she could. “Now look what you did!” Demyx said to upset at Axel to finish waffles.
Xemnas: That sentence failed. Miserably.
Zexion: Yes. It did.
Axel: Well you failed in shaking up with your girl.
Zexion: I hope you die in this story.
“What did I do!?!” Axel replied as if he didn’t do anything. “Come on Steve” Demyx said to his newly named lama.
Axel: Steve?
Demyx: Hmm. If I had a llama, I would name it… Mallax! Yeah. That’s it!
Axel: So your llama is a llama that had a strong heart so it became a nobody?
Demyx: It’s plausible.
Axel: Just unlikely. And retarded. I think you’ve been exposed to these things for too long.
Demyx: Does that mean I get to take a break?
Axel: Are you kidding? The management enjoys our suffering/brain damage.
Xemnas: They must.
“you named it?” Axel said. “Yes and now I’m going to train him.. Bye!” Demyx replied as he took his lama with him to his room.
Axel: Can you train a llama?
Demyx: Eww! I’m keeping it in my room? That’s unsanitary.
Axel: The mess in your room is unsanitary.
Xemnas: Really? Have I not specified complete and total order to the point of no personal possessions?
Axel: Like the lack of beds?
Demyx: Well I…
Axel: Busted!
The authors note shows asking what she’s done.
Xemnas: Succumbed to something worse than darkness? Like stupidity?
Axel: Bashed her head into the sidewalk ten too many times?
Demyx: Lost her knowledge of how to write?
Zexion: She probably didn’t have any to begin with.
Demyx: Point.
Xemnas: I’m leaving.
Zexion: Seconded.
Demyx: I guess I’ll go clean my room. *pout*
Axel: See you guys next chapter.
Demyx, Zexion and Xemnas leave through portals of darkness. Axel sits back and begins setting chairs in the theater on fire.
Chapter 4, 5 and 6 are up.