Is it a badfic ? Is it a sue ? Is it a troll? By God, I hope the latter.
Title: Cries of the Crimson Angel *Bullshit alert sound* (Archived at FFNet, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4810082/1/Cries_of_the_Crimson_Angel )
Author: Nixashimigi - No comment.
This fic was recommended by… Actually, I can’t find the comment. If that member turns out to be the author of this thing for massive trollage, I will have been right. And if it isn’t a troll, and someone actually sincerely wrote this, then my takeover and eventual destruction of the universe is fully justified, and any dissenters will be made to listen to a dramatic reading of it before receiving cake and grief counseling.
I went to the trouble of leaving a vanilla review as I read, but I ended with a quote and simply going “I call troll.” You’ll see why in due time - if your eyes are not skewered on the end of a rusty spork by then.
However, since I seem to have an ability to turn out having parodied parodies (It turned out that “Konoha’s Keyhole” was a parody (at least that's what its author claimed), and that my sarcasm-dar is rusted by being jaded and badfic, for which I again profusely apologize), I call troll.
Rating:
One Two for the Self-insert!multicolor!speshul!pretty!sparkly!big-boobed!bisexual!orgy!slut Sue (I wish I was making the number of adjectives up). One for a healthy dose of NOBODIES DO NOT HAVE FREAKING HEARTS, CONSARNIT-type logic error, and one also two for a conglomerate of fangirl japanese (it burns), OOC, in-fic author notes, spelling errors, bla bla bla, all that and Zexions' and Xemnas' testicles in a death grip.
I plead to whatever higher entity may be out there that this is a troll. Her carefully-tailored misspellings make it less easy to categorize. *jumps off a tower with a triple screw and dives into an ocean of brain bleach*
Sorry if I’m not very funny today, and if Demyx lacks his sitar and musical references.
Full Name (including any titles): Nixashimigi. *immature giggling* I’m gonna go with Schmiggy-giggy.
Full Species(es): *copypaste* Self-insertius gigapowerus sexta-keyblade swingius ocularis multicolorae Nobodiae Marius Sueis orgytasticus Canonus rapea, etc. etc. plus Aleph one.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "long pink hair(hot pink and not like Marluxa)"
I don't know who Marluxa is. Marluxia, by the way, has brown hair, if I follow the fanwank correctly.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "and the most beautiful grey eyes anyone had ever seen. SOmetimes they look green or blue but they would always sparkle silver ish and everyone thought they were really adorable."
Multicolor eyes. It's... so cliche, I can't... look... directly... at it... Also, prettier and sparklier then everyone else’s. At least they’re not orbs of pecullid lapis lazuli or oceans of immeasurably deep purple prose.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Huge boobs at the age of 16. Whiplash-sexuality. Able to pinpoint the location of her heartless yet no desire to unify because Nobodies Do It Better.
Special Possessions (if any): Six keyblades. She must be chewing through a lot of scenery canon Speshul-O's (They're like a torrent of Sparklypoo and multicolor in your mouth ! And they make your teeth pearly white and sparkly !*)
Origin: Obsessive fan-brain Type A: Unable to write their way out of a paper bag
Connections To Canon Characters: She doesn't realized that Zexion managed to trap her in his edition of the Kama sutra at the last minute.
Special Abilities: Pinpointing the location of her heartless, warping the minds of everyone around her, jumping to conclusion for KH: 358/2 Days,
Other Annoying Traits: HER ANNOYINGNESS BURNS WITH THE FIRE OF THE BIG BANG. Make it stop, get her out, get her OUT !
I Say/Notes: As much as I hate to put myself above a fellow sporker, once in the olden days of Kingdom_Spork someone said she (or he) had found the Final Boss of the City of OC in his / her Sue.
If that is the case, then this girlie is to her as Kurt Zisa is to a Darkball.
Kurt Zisa on fire, a million miles high, with his battle music replaced by Caramelldansen and high-pitched J-pop, in a small, neon pink thong, raping canon as he goes along stomping on orphanages which are filled with puppies and kittens and babies.
And the rape never ends.
And his spunk is made of crushed dreams.
And he sparkles.
- - - - - - - - - - -
* Speshul-O's aren’t right for everyone, and can cause fits of OOC, Slash, Mpreg, Sparklypoo, the growth of masses of conditioned hair, a change in wardrobe, becoming a walking stereotype, rips leading into canon yet unblemished, becoming a sex symbol for hordes of teenagers who randomly appear on your doorstep, bloating, cramping, loss of normal speech pattern, insanity, getting friends and/or lovers you never knew you had, waking up next to a woman whose eyes change color and badly-written sex scenes. If you experience negative symptoms, stop consuming Speshul-O's and murder the nearest fanbrat. May contain nuts.
- - - - - - - - - -
The sporking theatre is, strangely enough, in black and white this time. Also, Kairi, Riku and Sora are absent as Axel and Demyx warp in.
Axel: What the hell ? I’m black and white !
Demyx: And I think we’re two-dimensional.
Axel: Oi, Cid ! What’s going on ?
Cid: *shouting from projection booth* Good ol’-fashioned Sue!fic today. The theatre went the extra mile for the occasion
Axel: To quote an old Star Wars cliché, I Have A Very Bad Feeling About This.
Demyx: One of us is gonna get it. Or she’ll get Roxas, or the Superior. Again. *Seats self*
Axel: *materializes tequila* Better safe then sorry… *swigs*
There was a time a really strange enchanting girl. Her name was Nixashimigi.
Axel: Nixa- wha ?
Demyx: Nixashima-
Axel: Mister Schnieda -
Demyx: Kidamashnagga -
Axel: ... Schmiggy-giggy.
Demyx: Yeah.
She was a nobody, but they just called her Nixa because that is shorter and sounds better and they couldn’t expect everyone to remember a long name like that. Nobodies like nine wasn’t really smart enough.
Demyx: Bitch, please. It’s all an act I pull off to confuse my enemies.
Axel: *snort* It’s past tense; did you get an upgrade ?
Demyx: It’s hard to tell in the train wreck of run-ons and grammar crisis.
She was really pretty though with long pink hair(hot pink and not like Marluxa) and the most beautiful grey eyes anyone had ever seen. SOmetimes they look green or blue but they would always sparkle silver ish and everyone thought they were really adorable. Superior liked her alot because she was really strong, and had really big tits(she’s not interested in him or she’d be an MS, but it made it easier to be bossy over the rest of the org.
Axel: I assume that she does not mean that she is an embodiment of Multiple Sclerosis ?
Demyx: No, she seems to think she isn’t a Mary-Sue as long as she doesn’t love her canon-raped, brainwashed puppy-dog shell of a Nobody back.
*beat*
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA
Axel: *keels over* HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA - If I had a heart, I’d get a heart attack right now.
Demyx: *hysterical* Keep telling yourself that, Schmiggy - what are you, a virgin or something ?
Axel: I can see her, sexing up the Superior for THE POWER OVER TEH ORGY BISHIES!!11eleventyvelociraptor!!1 and brainwashing him with her Technicolor-discoball eyes. They’d -
Xemnas: *poof !* What in the - Eight ! Nine ! What is this desolate abode ?
Demyx: Superior ?!
Xemnas: In the flesh. What are you - *notices fic* Not again.
Axel: *slouches, takes a swig* Get used to it. There is no escape.
Xemnas: I would prefer to fade back into darkness. It’s less tormenting.
Yeah the reason why she was so strong was because she is a keyblade master(or mistress but they call it master in the game but she’s no dood, ew) but she was even more better than Roxas because she had six keyblades, and two of them were dual keyblased.
Roxas: *poof !* … Dear God, why.
Axel: Roxas !
Xemnas: Traitor.
Demyx: ... Colleague ?
Roxas: … I repeat myself - dear God, why ?!
Demyx: Stolen powers: +6 Why is it always the dual-wielding they steal ?
Axel: Also, note. Dudes are ew. Het is probably also ew.
Demyx: Does that mean we are… safe ?
Axel: Never count on it. They strike when your back is turned and your defenses are down.
She would wield the dual ones in her hands and the four others she would wield with some invisible power arms that you can’t see, but they could reach several metres and were really deadly.(like in elfen lied, that anime with naked nekogirls)
Axel: There’s a witty comment to be made here, but it’s so bad and stereotypical I’m nearly inclined to pity the fic...
Xemnas: You cannot feel pity, because you are an empty shell of nothingness ! Devoid of the merest flicker of feeling, doomed to merely regurgitate tormenting memories of former feeling !
Axel: Ah, right. Your fic sucks, and we can prove why in a collected and logical manner, but choose not to do so for the lulz !
Demyx: ... She appears to pay an awful amount of attention to naked girls.
Roxas: Out of all the possibilities of Elfen Lied, from the mindfuckery to the mass slaughter, she fixated on the fanservice...
Axel: I’m just appaled by her SPESHUL INVISIBUL POWAH ARMZ.
Demyx: Just wait until she gropes you in your sleep.
Axel: *SPITTAKE*
She woke up an early morning and got out of bed and the sun was shining in through her window and making her hair shine like pink rubies. She looked back to the other bed in the room and walked over.
Xemnas: Pink rubies ? A ruby is red, as red as the blood you shall spray once I relive that pitiful body of yours from the burden of life.
“Hey Se you have you wake up it’s morning,” she said and grinned at her brother. Se(TM that’s your char!)was her brother, he hadn’t lost his heart yet so he couldn’t have an x in his name just yet, but it was slowly deceying so he would get it soon enough.
Xemnas: Ah, the delicious irony... Her brother is tainted by her sueishness, so much that his heart cannot stand the stress -and it decays ! Ahahahahaha !
Demyx: So sueishness is stronger, more vile and evil and more destructive then the darkness of the heart ?
Axel: Of course ! Have you met the Gutless ?
He really was stupid, but at least he looked cool, but a little emo. His hair was like Zexion only limegreen and his skin was darker. Se god up and they walked downstairs where they met Zexion.
Axel: Nevermind, he’s going God Mode Sue.
Roxas: Someone’s gonna get Lexiconsmack’d. I was wondering why that thing kept gaining pages. It’s like the Necrotelecomnicon. *shivers*
Demyx: Hail the Sue and the Sue’s no-as-speshul-yet-still-vastly-more-superior brother !
Xemnas: What are you doing, you traitorous twit ?
Demyx: They have infiltrated our castle and are yet undetected. They appear to have powerful brainwashing capabilities. Standard procedure: Pretend to be controlled and either kill them or acquire their powers. Especially good if - hey, look ! Something shiny !
Axel: *headdesk*
“ハローかわいい女の子!” Zexion said(that means Hello kawai-chan for those who don’t speak japanese).
“こんにちはセクシーくん” Nixa said back. (that means Hello Zexion-kun) Nixa had taken a major in Japanese before she turned nobody and she had taught it to Zexion who was really happy for it.
Axel: Fangirl Japanese... *twitch* Improper fangirl Japanese, as far as I’m aware. *twitch twitch*
Demyx: It’s like a meeting of every sue cliché ever imagined. If -
* A loud boom comes from the projection booth, Cid storms out, smoke billowing behind him*
Cid: Goddamn, the clichédar exploded ! Those things are expensive !
Axel: Well, find someone who cares.
They were best friends now. When they didn’t have any missions they would go to land of dragons to eat ramen noodles and drink sake. Nixa really was just sixteen but everyone thought she was nineteen because she looked so mature so they couldn’t tell the difference. She also had a very high tollerence, she never got drunk or anything like that.
Axel: *as Sue* My liver is also super !
Xemnas: Nobodies do not have hearts, neither metaphorical nor physical. Therefore, we do not have a circulatory system, or organs at all. It follows that we do not have a liver, or liver-like organ. We cannot get drunk, and generally do not experience bodily functions.
Axel: Ah, but we remember what it was like to be drunk. *swigs Tequila*
Demyx: It was better then this.
Roxas: So, if we have no organs... Does that mean Nobodies do not have ba-
Xemnas: *lightsabers*
Roxas: *thrown into row behind, smoking, raising his hand* That explain everything ! It’s all clear to me now !
Anyway, they went to the breakfast room and there Zexion sat down by the breakfast table when Xion come in.
“Hi girlfriend!” she said to Nixa, and they hugged and made out. They were only good friends, Nixa didn't like her that way, she’s not lesbian, but they were just really good friends, and it was fun to see when they rubbed their tits together. All he guys got really hard in their pants. Nixa’s org coat was zipped down just to where you could see her boobs but no nipples, she wasn’t a slut either, but she’d let xion and Namine touch them because they weren’t perverted like the guys.
Roxas: SURPRISE SUE-SEX
Axel: EEERT ! *makes quiz buzzer “WRONG !” noise*
Demyx: Xion is not lesbian - as far as we know - and Namine is back in that island chick. Or does not even exist yet.
Roxas: This fic is raping canon that isn’t even out yet ! That has to be a lifetime achievement.
Axel: It’s also raping canon across time. The suethor has a TARDIS !
Demyx: Or maybe just is a ‘tard.
Xemnas: ...
Axel: Guys, I think his cool, analytical mind crashed in the face of logic errors the size of Kingdom Hearts. May I be the first to be his mercy angel with a chakram through the brain ?
Xemnas: I... I feel ! And I feel utter revulsion !
(Sporker: *stabbed for repeatedly stealing some lines from other sporks*)
Axel: Damnit, he lives.
Demyx: Also, note how she is totally not a slut for sexing up the Superior, making out with Xion and going at it with Namine whilst putting off a show for the surrounding males.
Xemnas: Organization XIII is not populated by horny teenagers ! We demand cooperation, control, and competence ! Also, I feel I forgot somethi- NOBODIES DO NOT HAVE HEARTS ! WHY DOESN’T THIS GO INTO YOUR PERFECT VACUUM OF A SKULL !
Axel: Superior ? Are you feeling alri-
Xemnas: I think there was some of that fresh endgame hate from our Kingdom Hearts left. I do feel much better now, thank you, VIII.
“Nixa we got an assignment from Superior!”Xion said. “We’re going to Treasure Planet!”
“But that’s where my heartless is,” Nixa cried. Xion gasped and was shocked.
“Oh no!” she said.
Demyx: *valley girl* Like, oh no, guys ! DRAMA ALERT !
Xemnas: It is the uttermost desire of every Nobody to gain a heart. Why, in the name of Ansem the Wise’s bondage bandages, would she wait if she can locate her heartless ?
Axel: *violently chugging*
Roxas: Where have all the commas gone…
Demyx: They probably were taken along by the spaces and grammar.
Chapter Two begins with Author Notes, the sheer horror of with boggles the mind. The sporker wonders whether one can turn Heartless simply by witnessing this loveless remnant of the abortion and mangling of canon. He calls troll from the bottom of his soul, with little remnants of hope for humanity in the call.
YAOI/SHOUNEN AI LEMON WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER, if you’re below 18, don’t read this. I warned you, so read on your own risk. I made Marluxia a futa, only without the boobs, because really, he’s so gay, he has to have a woman thingy somewhere. Hope you gais don’t mind.
Axel: … Why am I not surprised ?
Xemnas: She made Marluxia a… what ? Futa ? What, pray tell, is that ?
Axel: To quote Xaldin... “I believe ‘Dear God, why’ sums it up quite nicely’.
Xemnas: *raises eyebrow*
Axel: *writes something down on a piece of paper, hands it to Xemnas*
Xemnas: *reads* ... If I had an actual stomach, it would be roiling in nausea and I would very possibly find myself vomiting uncontrollably. And people think we are vile creatures ?
Roxas: You haven’t seen half of it. *whispers* Nagas.
And that's right Kitsune-chan, Se's name really will spell out as Sex when he looses his heart ^_^ I thought it was funny. It's TM's char, she's good with sexual innuendos
Axel: HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS SO WITTY
Demyx: AND SO SUBTLE.
Roxas: I AM AWED AT YOUR MASTERY OF SEXUAL TENSION.
Xemnas: ... Her innuendo... is not subtle ?
Anvil: *hits Xemnas*
Xemnas: ...Ow.
Also I brought in another friend's char, a friend of nixa's.
Axel: *pulls out a Cliché Bingo Card* Captain, I am detecting massive quantities of fail in this sector. Evasive action suggested.
Xemnas: *wearily* Make it so, Number Eight.
xXx
Axel: For the last time, Triple X is not an Organization member.
Demyx: He’d have to be Quadruple X to do that, and that’s just redundant.
Xion and Nixa has decided they would run away. If superior sent them to treasure planet they could set free an awesome power that could destroy the whole world. Nixa’s heartless was very powerful and they didn’t want to risk it, not even Nixa was strong enough to defeat her own heartless but before they could run off she had to go to Vexen. Or Superior would be suspicus of them.
Xemnas: Because I and my Sorceror nobodies are completely incapable of keeping track of our fellow Nobodies. And Vexen, the Nobody making boys out of - something, is, of course, the most inconspicuous of us all.
Axel: I’m more disturbed by the fact that these sentences are in a position in which they clearly do not belong.
Roxas: *marvels* It’s like the author combined two badfics into one.
She also wanted to say good bye to Axel before they run off.
Axel: Nooooooo !
Demyx: Good bye… and good riddance !
Roxas: Oh, Axel… We can’t just get a break. I would sympathize with you, if I had a- Oh, wait, I do now.
Axel: Why not pour some salt into the wound ? Wait, no ! Let me dig up some peroxide !
So she walked down to Vexen to tell him they had been send on an assignment at treasure planet when she was someone else had come there before here! Marluxia was sitting on the table with his legs spread and Vexen had his face buried in his lap! - Mar really is a hemaprodit and Vexen was licking his woman parts!
Xemnas: *summons some silvery-white barf bags*
Axel: What are those about ?
Xemnas: The look of things, you idiot. *waves his hands, they fly around to each member*
Roxas: O-kay, wha- *the bag contorts a little* What the - ?
Xemnas: Also, they’re the nobodies of fanbrats whose minds were overwhelmed by their own distastefulness.
Axel: Poetic justice !
Roxas: Anyway - Hermaphrodites. KH fandom has officially gone down to the level of “Artemis’ Lover”
All: ...*vomit*
Nixa was really disgusted and she and Xion they decided they would just run off at once, IV probably wouldn’t notice anyway cause he was busy fondling Marluxia’s nipples, and then the botanist went down on his knees and gave him head, slurping and moaning around his dick.
Marluxia: *poof* What in the - I was watering my roses !
Axel: Well, you see Marluxia, when a fanbrat loves a fandom way too much…
Demyx: And a sporker is too masochistic for his own good…
Roxas: Then badfic is born, and a sporking will blast the fourth wall to smithereens.
Xemnas: *deadpan* Yippee-skippee.
Marluxia: O-kay… *notices fic* HOLY MOTHER OF ANSEM THE WISE ON A POGO STICK ! *retches in row of seats below*
But then Nixa got an idea. “Now we can make them help us escape!” she said. “If this gets out, Superior will turn them to dusks.”
Vexen and Marluxia heard them and immediately got flustered, and put their clothes back on.
“What are you brats conspiring about??” Vexen snapped at them.
“You’re going to help us escape Treasure Planet. We’re leaving tomorrow,” Nixa said. Marluxia looked unhappy. He was still making a tent with his pants.
Axel: Now, if we sell the tapes to the Superior, we get to throw the freak show to the sharks and gain some munny.
Demyx: … Why would they suddenly care, just because the Sue exclaimed it ?
Roxas: She’s just that speshul.
Marluxia: I’ll go with the usual excuse of That’s Not Me.
Axel: But you’re making a tent out of your pants ! How resourceful, were you at the Boy Scouts ?
Roxas: Now, was he there for scouting or the boys ?
Marluxia: Why, you… *summons scythe*
Axel: *chakrams* Yes, ‘Graceful Pedophile’ ?
Marluxia: … *weeps rose petals*
Xemnas: I still wonder why I would turn them into dusk instead of rendering the very fabric of spacetime asunder just to rid the multiverse of the stain of their existence.
Axel: *shrug* ‘House’ was on.
Nixa, Se, Xion and Vexen and Marluxia and Zexion all went together to Treasure Planet the day afterwards. Vexen said he and Marluxia would protect them and make sure they survived. They first arrived at a harbour plant. There were seagulls and pirate ships and they figured they'd have to find a ship to go to the Treasure Planet. They stepped out of a dark portal on the harbor and looked around. There were pirate ships flying in the sky, and Se was really amazed. He hadn't ever seen anything like that before, and he almost fell down from the docks. There wasn't any water, just empty space, because there were flying ships.
Axel: *call center voice* Department of Redundancy Department, how may I help you ?
Demyx: Well, we have ships flying in the sky, and those that are at the docks don’t have water because they are flying.
Axel: Ah, Model 1859-7. Got it memorized ?
When everyone else were busy starting at the ships, Nixa noticed that Vexen was sparkling in the sunlight! She screamed, and pointed it out to everyone else.
"Vexen is a vampire!" she cried. Marluxia was devastated. Se was so surprised that he actually fell over the docks and into the space, and Xion started crying hysterically.
"Noo!!"
Vexen couldn't help feeling guilty as it was his fault. "I'm sorry Marluxia, I didn't mean to make you sad, I don't kill people! I'm a vegerarian vampire."
Axel: … Guys ?
Demyx: …
Xemnas: …
Marluxia: It’s… it’s gayer then my portrayal in the fandom…
Roxas: … *faints*
Axel: …Erm, guys ?
All: …
Axel: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ?
Demyx: I think we found the troll to end all trolls.
Marluxia: No amount of memory erasing and evil plotting is ever going to make this okay.
Xemnas: I was going along the lines of SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF DARKNESS, WHY ? with a side order of ‘Vampires Do Not Work That Way’ or, if out of that, alternatively ‘Don’t Pull That Fandom In Here’. Maybe garnished with a little ‘Bitch, are you for real ?’ and a hint of ‘troll’.
Roxas: It’s like “My Immortal” - but coherent and therefore able to make us comprehend what is written ! The unfunny ! It hurts !
Marluxia sobbed, but then smiled, and hugged Vexen to him. "It's okay. I'll still touch you, I don't care if you're a vampire. I should have been able to tell from how beautiful you are."
Cid: *from projection booth* I’m breaking out the Hazmat suits. The cliché levels are reaching critical !
Axel: Well, pass them over !
Cid: Oh, sorry. I’m breaking out the Hazmat suit. You guys can go straight to hell.
Demyx: Been there, read the fic. Are there again.
"But what about Se?" Nixa said, looking depressed. "He's my brother, he can't just die like-
"I'm okay!!" Se cried. Everyone looked up. A girl dressed up in a nobody coat with lime green hair was riding on a nasgul, dark and ominous. She had Se sitting in front of her on the nasgul and was flying in the air.
Xemnas: They are multiplying at an astonishing rate.
Axel: Is there a corridor of badness around here, or what ?
"Flox!" Nixa cried. "What are you doing here? I thought you were dead!"
Flox was the girl with the limegreen hair and she had been Nixa's friend long ago. Her real name was Floxxing but they just said Flox for short.
Axel: … Floxxing.
Demyx: PORN STAR NAME ALERT.
Xemnas: You are preaching to the choir, IV.
Demyx: Silly me.
Marluxia: I am appaled at the suggestion of lime-green hair.
Axel: *snort* Says the guy with the hot pink font.
Marluxia: *pimpslap*
"Nixa, I've come to turn you back to your heart self!" she said. "I saved your brother, but I'm going to take him along to Treasure Planet where your Heartless is, and I'm going to unite you so you become whole again so we can be friends again!"
"Never!" Xion yelled. "Nixa is my friend, I won't let you take her away from the Organization!"
Xemnas: Actually, you can have here. We don’t want her, at all. In fact, we insist that you take her.
Axel: Remember, Superior, that is not Xion. Xion is dead. Or something. We don’t know yet.
Roxas: *waves goodbye to the fourth wall*
"I'm going to destroy your petty little organization!" Flox cried evilly, and the nasgul screeched. "Save me!" Se sobbed. "Nixa, please save me!"
"I'm not going to let you destroy me or the organization," Nixa said. "Listen, Se! You still have your heart, just listen to it, and call upon your weapon and destroy Flox!"
Se nodded, and raised his arms, summoning a giant round blade. With it he killed the nasgul, and Zexion caught him before he fell. They were going to catch Flox too, but she flew!
Axel: You special little God Mode Sue.
Demyx: Ironically, this one wasn’t a complete asspull, he did “god up” a chapter earlier.
Xemnas: If you ignore that he popped out if thin air, that is.
"Nixa! If you don't come to treasure planet, I will destroy the organization!" Flox said and then she flew away, until they couldn't see her any longer. Nixa sobbed onto Xion's chest.
"She was my best friend when we still had hearts, what happened to her?" she asked. "I don't want to fight her."
"You'll have to," Se said. "Just like how I had to kill that nasgul, you have to kill her. Or they would destroy us."
Nixa sniffed and nodded. "Alright. I just wished I had someone who could help me."
Xemnas: Anyone up for that ?
All: *whistle, look at their nails, etc*
Back in Never Was, Xemnas just sent Axel to aid them in their fight, having heard of Flox' plans to destroy the organization.
Marluxia: Looks like someone is.
Axel: That is not me.
Marluxia: Sure, and it still won’t be you when you catch her in your strong arms and stare deeply into her radiant pools of silver starlight.
Axel: *burninates*
… Troll. Please.
*breaks down sobbing* WHY DO I LOVE SPORKING SO MUCH.
Also, I apologize for making past sporking references that are more like injecting someone else’s funny into my spork because I am out of material.
~Zelnor
EDIT: I read the newest sporking at Snakes on a Sora. Nazi slashfic. Nazi Axel. I am a broken shell of a human being. Maybe that's how Nobodies are created.