{multichapter} tell me why (chapter 9) ; ryoda
TITLE: Tell Me Why (Chapter 9)
PAIRING: Nishikido Ryo x Ueda Tatsuya ; Yamashita Tomohisa x Ueda Tatsuya ; Akanishi Jin x Kamenashi Kazuya
RATING: NC17
DISCLAIMER: Do not own. Title belongs to Taylor Swift.
GENRE: Angst, romance, AU, violence
NOTES: Requested by natsuki_suzu. Originally posted here
WARNINGS: Violence
SUMMARY: After a chance encounter at the supermarket, Ryo is intrigued by Tatsuya, and he is determined to find out more about the other. The more he discovers, the more he wants to protect him. After enlisting the help of his two closest friends, they set out to help Tatsuya.
Kamenashi was evil. Tatsuya was certain of it.
His feet were killing him; his back ached; and he was laden with about fifty bags of things he didn't even know he needed, but apparently he did, according to Kamenashi.
"Did you... buy the whole store?" Nishikido asked as Tatsuya stumbled in through the doorway. Tatsuya glared.
"Kamenashi is the devil," was all he said before Nishikido laughed and went to help him.
"Where are you gonna put all this?" Ryo asked, following Ueda's lead and dumping the bags on his bed.
"I don't know," Ueda whined, staring down at the bags. "He's very persuasive."
"Oh, I believe you," Ryo laughed.
"What am I going to do with all of this?"
>>><<<
The day with Kamenashi had been fun, Tatsuya had to admit, as he sat on his bed after dinner. They had shopped, and had lunch - Kamenashi had treated him to sushi - and then they had shopped some more. His feet were killing him, and he was sure he had created a severe dent in Tomohisa's bank account, but he was happy. He was smiling.
And he hadn't even thought of Tomohisa once.
Tomohisa.
>>><<<
A thud sounded from upstairs and Ryo was running, leaping up those stairs as fast as he could, pounding on Ueda's bedroom door in a panic. "Ueda? Ueda, are you alright?"
When Ueda didn't answer, Ryo opened the door to find him sitting on the floor against the bed, hugging his knees. Ryo dropped to his side, a tentative hand reaching out, almost touching him, but thinking better of it at the last second.
"Ueda?"
"Go away." Ueda's voice was cold and harsh, but Ryo wasn't deterred.
"No. My house, my rules. Now tell me, what happened?" Ryo asked, and Ueda slowly turned his head to face him.
"I forgot about Tomohisa."
"What?"
"I forgot about him. I did, I--" Ueda's breaths were coming out in short gasps suddenly, and Ryo had to put an arm around him, ignoring how Ueda was trying to shrug him off, and pulled him close. "I forgot him, Nishikido."
"What are you talking about?" Ryo asked softly.
"I didn't think of him once today," Ueda practically whispered, and everything fell into place.
"Ah."
"He's going to be so angry," Ueda said, sitting up again and looking at Ryo with a frightening panic in his eyes. "He's going to yell at me. He's going to think I don't love him anymore-- oh god, he's going to--"
"Tatsuya, breathe," Ryo said, trying to calm the other down. Ueda nodded, taking deep breaths. "You didn't forget him," Ryo continued, in a gentler voice, "You don't need to think about him all the time. You still love him. It's okay."
"No, it's not--"
"You had fun today, didn't you?" Ryo asked suddenly, standing up. Ueda watched him with careful eyes.
"Yes."
"Want to show me what you bought?"
Ueda climbed to his feet, every movement looking as though it pained him. The bags were still on his bed, untouched since he had dumped them there that afternoon.
"What's this?" Ryo asked, pulling something furry out of one of the bags. "It looks like you ran over a skunk."
Ueda laughed, and Ryo smiled. "No, it's a hat-- give that here," he said, snatching it out of his hands. He quietened again, staring down at the hat in his hands as Ryo gazed at him. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For acting like that."
"It's not a problem," Ryo smiled, taking the hat out of Ueda's hands and pulling it over his hair. "There you go."
He felt a pang of something deep inside as Ueda smiled a little, but ignored it. Ueda needed him more than his emotions did right now.
"I'm here if you need me, okay?" Ryo said, and Ueda nodded.
"Thankyou."
They spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out where Ueda would put the clothes he had bought. Ryo was of no help, throwing the clothes at Ueda as he tried to make room in the small chest of drawers in that room, until Ueda turned with his hands on his hips and stared at him.
That was when Ryo dived head-first onto the bed, sending the rest of the bags and clothes toppling to the floor.
Ueda laughed, lightly hitting Ryo's foot as he tugged a sweater out from under him. "Stop that. You're not helping."
"I'm being a wonderful help, thankyou very much."
>>><<<
Ryo didn't know if this was a good idea or not, but he supposed that it was too late to take it back. Kame and Jin had tried to stop him, but he didn't listen to their whispers over the phone, choosing instead to listen to himself.
And to listen to Ueda.
The prison was rather formidable-looking, with its stark grey walls and it's wire fences, and Ryo was kind of regretting his decision a little. "Thankyou for this," Ueda said, shifting in his seat, and Ryo just nodded tightly.
"It's okay," was all he said, parking the car.
They went through all the security checks and more security checks and then they were led through into another area. Their footsteps echoed off the grey of the walls and the floors, and every step made Ryo feel worse and worse, filling him with this kind of dread that he feared. He really didn't want to be here.
He couldn't read Ueda's expression either. He was carefully blank.
Just in case, Ryo held onto the hem of Ueda's shirt to show him that he was there for him. Ueda turned, questioning look in his eyes, and Ryo smiled tightly.
They came to a door, and were led in. There were tables placed sporadically around the room, officers standing against the walls whilst prisoners spoke to their families and friends. The officer who led them there was gesturing to a far table, where Yamashita was sitting, slumped in his chair.
"Breathe," he heard Ueda whisper next to him, before they started to walk over. Yamashita looked up as the officer took his spot at his shoulder.
"I'll wait here," Ryo said, and stood to the side, pretending not to listen and glancing around the room. He heard the chair scrape against the floor as Ueda sat down, and snuck a look over.
Yamashita looked terrible. His eyes were red and there were deep bags under them; his hair was shorn close to his head; and his skin looked pallid under the fluorescent lights. His eyes looked lost.
"Tatsuya?" he asked, and Ueda nodded.
"Hey, Tomo," he said, and Ryo could almost hear the tiny smile he knew Ueda must be wearing.
"Tatsuya-- I miss you so much-- I-- I am so, so sorry," Yamashita stuttered, tripping his own words in his haste to say them. He sat up in his chair, and Ryo could see he was aching to take Ueda's hands in his own. Ueda's hands were lying under the table, curled into fists on his knees.
"Yeah."
"I was stupid-- I was so stupid. Please forgive me, I'll never do that again, baby," Yamashita continued, and Ryo felt eyes on him. He wasn't sure if they were Yamashita's or Ueda's though. He was watching a rough-looking man talking to his wife. Not eavesdropping.
"Baby?" Ueda asked, rather thoughtfully. "You've never... called me that before."
It didn't seem like Yamashita had even heard him. “When I get home, I’ll quit that job. We’ll move into the city, into a little apartment, and you can have that dog you’ve always wanted. I’ll let you work, too, and you can bring your friends over.”
“And... you won’t... hit me?”
Ryo turned, stomach dropping. “No,” Yamashita said forcefully. “No, I won’t.”
He couldn’t stand any more. “Ueda? Time’s up,” he said, briefly touching Ueda on the shoulder to get his attention. Yamashita’s eyes flashed dangerously.
It all happened very quickly. Ueda stood, and Ryo turned, and then Ueda was making a strangled noise behind him and there was shouting. Ryo turned back to see Yamashita grab onto Ueda’s upper arm tightly, slamming him into the table. Ryo shouted as the guards leapt at Yamashita, wrenching him away from Ueda and pulling his arms behind his back. Ryo grabbed hold of Ueda, instinctively pushing him behind him as Yamashita struggled in the guards’ hold.
“Alright you two, time to leave,” another guard said, ushering them back through the door as Yamashita called out to Ueda.
“Tatsuya, please!” he kept repeating, but Ueda wasn’t answering, arms folded in front of him and head down, focused only on getting the heck out of there. Ryo just followed.
They said nothing until they had gathered their meagre possessions and had made their way back to the car. They sat there in silence, the engine off, just sitting, mulling things over in their minds.
“I don’t believe him,” Ueda suddenly said, and Ryo looked at him.
“Hmm?”
“I don’t. He promised me everything I ever wanted. But I don't believe him.”
“And I don’t believe you,” Ryo said softly.
“...yeah.”
Ryo turned the car on as the first tears fell.
The radio was on - some new song about scars and love and falling and cursing. There was a lot of cursing. It was a rather cloudy day out today. Ryo wondered whether it would rain or not. Speaking of which - had he done his washing for the day? Or did he do it yesterday? He had to make dinner tonight, too. Hopefully he had something in the cupboard. Wait-- yes. Yes, he had chicken fillets, and potatoes, and there may have been some kind of vegetables in his fridge.
Was Ueda still crying? “Ueda?”
“Yep. Yep I’m okay,” Ueda said hurriedly, wiping his face. “I’m good.”
“Are you scared?” Ryo found himself saying, even though he had been trying to leave it alone.
“Terrified,” Ueda laughed, sniffling. “Absolutely terrified.”
Maybe this had been a bad idea, after all.
>>><<<
Kame practically flew at Ueda when he walked through the doorway, pressing his hands to Ueda’s cheeks and checking him over, as if he could see any emotional scars on his body. “Are you alright? What happened? You’ve been crying. You’ve been crying! Ryo, what did you do?” Kame fussed, dragging Ueda away from the rather shocked Ryo, pulling him up the stairs.
“...Nishikido?” Ueda called, as if to ask for help.
“Come on, Ueda,” Kame said, tugging on his arm. “Come tell me all about it.”
And then the two were gone, disappearing into Ueda’s bedroom, leaving Ryo and a rather disturbed-looking Jin in the entrance. “Um,” was all Ryo said.
“Yeah,” Jin answered. “Did I just lose my boyfriend to Ueda?”
Ryo laughed. “As if Kame would ever part from your side,” he said, nudging Jin into the kitchen. “I need a drink.”
“What happened there?” Jin asked, pulling a beer out of the fridge for Ryo, who took it gratefully. “Why was Ueda crying?”
“Yamashita went a bit... crazy,” Ryo admitted, after a long drink. “He grabbed Ueda.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He was so... creepy-looking too,” Ryo continued. “Like... he’d lost his mind or something.”
“Something... being Ueda?”
“Hmm?”
“Maybe he’s going crazy cause he lost Ueda?” Jin offered, and Ryo paused.
“That... makes sense.”
“Yeah well. He’s been in control over every part of Ueda’s life, but now he hasn’t seen him for weeks, and has no idea where he is,” Jin continued. Ryo nodded. That made perfect sense. “Also, I think we should go save Ueda from Kame.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Ryo laughed, before Ueda was running down the stairs and stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. “Uuh. Are you okay?”
“He’s insane,” was all Ueda said.
“Kame?” Jin asked, and Ueda nodded furiously. Jin sighed. “What has he done now-- nevermind, I’ll go find him.” With that, Jin was gone in search of Kame, heading up the stairs.
“What did he do?” Ryo asked.
“He was trying to get me to go shopping with him,” Ueda said, reaching for a beer. “I don’t think I ever want to go shopping with him again.”
Ryo laughed. “That’s probably for the best.”
End of chapter 9.
PAIRING: Nishikido Ryo x Ueda Tatsuya ; Yamashita Tomohisa x Ueda Tatsuya ; Akanishi Jin x Kamenashi Kazuya
RATING: NC17
DISCLAIMER: Do not own. Title belongs to Taylor Swift.
GENRE: Angst, romance, AU, violence
NOTES: Requested by natsuki_suzu. Originally posted here
WARNINGS: Violence
SUMMARY: After a chance encounter at the supermarket, Ryo is intrigued by Tatsuya, and he is determined to find out more about the other. The more he discovers, the more he wants to protect him. After enlisting the help of his two closest friends, they set out to help Tatsuya.
Kamenashi was evil. Tatsuya was certain of it.
His feet were killing him; his back ached; and he was laden with about fifty bags of things he didn't even know he needed, but apparently he did, according to Kamenashi.
"Did you... buy the whole store?" Nishikido asked as Tatsuya stumbled in through the doorway. Tatsuya glared.
"Kamenashi is the devil," was all he said before Nishikido laughed and went to help him.
"Where are you gonna put all this?" Ryo asked, following Ueda's lead and dumping the bags on his bed.
"I don't know," Ueda whined, staring down at the bags. "He's very persuasive."
"Oh, I believe you," Ryo laughed.
"What am I going to do with all of this?"
>>><<<
The day with Kamenashi had been fun, Tatsuya had to admit, as he sat on his bed after dinner. They had shopped, and had lunch - Kamenashi had treated him to sushi - and then they had shopped some more. His feet were killing him, and he was sure he had created a severe dent in Tomohisa's bank account, but he was happy. He was smiling.
And he hadn't even thought of Tomohisa once.
Tomohisa.
>>><<<
A thud sounded from upstairs and Ryo was running, leaping up those stairs as fast as he could, pounding on Ueda's bedroom door in a panic. "Ueda? Ueda, are you alright?"
When Ueda didn't answer, Ryo opened the door to find him sitting on the floor against the bed, hugging his knees. Ryo dropped to his side, a tentative hand reaching out, almost touching him, but thinking better of it at the last second.
"Ueda?"
"Go away." Ueda's voice was cold and harsh, but Ryo wasn't deterred.
"No. My house, my rules. Now tell me, what happened?" Ryo asked, and Ueda slowly turned his head to face him.
"I forgot about Tomohisa."
"What?"
"I forgot about him. I did, I--" Ueda's breaths were coming out in short gasps suddenly, and Ryo had to put an arm around him, ignoring how Ueda was trying to shrug him off, and pulled him close. "I forgot him, Nishikido."
"What are you talking about?" Ryo asked softly.
"I didn't think of him once today," Ueda practically whispered, and everything fell into place.
"Ah."
"He's going to be so angry," Ueda said, sitting up again and looking at Ryo with a frightening panic in his eyes. "He's going to yell at me. He's going to think I don't love him anymore-- oh god, he's going to--"
"Tatsuya, breathe," Ryo said, trying to calm the other down. Ueda nodded, taking deep breaths. "You didn't forget him," Ryo continued, in a gentler voice, "You don't need to think about him all the time. You still love him. It's okay."
"No, it's not--"
"You had fun today, didn't you?" Ryo asked suddenly, standing up. Ueda watched him with careful eyes.
"Yes."
"Want to show me what you bought?"
Ueda climbed to his feet, every movement looking as though it pained him. The bags were still on his bed, untouched since he had dumped them there that afternoon.
"What's this?" Ryo asked, pulling something furry out of one of the bags. "It looks like you ran over a skunk."
Ueda laughed, and Ryo smiled. "No, it's a hat-- give that here," he said, snatching it out of his hands. He quietened again, staring down at the hat in his hands as Ryo gazed at him. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For acting like that."
"It's not a problem," Ryo smiled, taking the hat out of Ueda's hands and pulling it over his hair. "There you go."
He felt a pang of something deep inside as Ueda smiled a little, but ignored it. Ueda needed him more than his emotions did right now.
"I'm here if you need me, okay?" Ryo said, and Ueda nodded.
"Thankyou."
They spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out where Ueda would put the clothes he had bought. Ryo was of no help, throwing the clothes at Ueda as he tried to make room in the small chest of drawers in that room, until Ueda turned with his hands on his hips and stared at him.
That was when Ryo dived head-first onto the bed, sending the rest of the bags and clothes toppling to the floor.
Ueda laughed, lightly hitting Ryo's foot as he tugged a sweater out from under him. "Stop that. You're not helping."
"I'm being a wonderful help, thankyou very much."
>>><<<
Ryo didn't know if this was a good idea or not, but he supposed that it was too late to take it back. Kame and Jin had tried to stop him, but he didn't listen to their whispers over the phone, choosing instead to listen to himself.
And to listen to Ueda.
The prison was rather formidable-looking, with its stark grey walls and it's wire fences, and Ryo was kind of regretting his decision a little. "Thankyou for this," Ueda said, shifting in his seat, and Ryo just nodded tightly.
"It's okay," was all he said, parking the car.
They went through all the security checks and more security checks and then they were led through into another area. Their footsteps echoed off the grey of the walls and the floors, and every step made Ryo feel worse and worse, filling him with this kind of dread that he feared. He really didn't want to be here.
He couldn't read Ueda's expression either. He was carefully blank.
Just in case, Ryo held onto the hem of Ueda's shirt to show him that he was there for him. Ueda turned, questioning look in his eyes, and Ryo smiled tightly.
They came to a door, and were led in. There were tables placed sporadically around the room, officers standing against the walls whilst prisoners spoke to their families and friends. The officer who led them there was gesturing to a far table, where Yamashita was sitting, slumped in his chair.
"Breathe," he heard Ueda whisper next to him, before they started to walk over. Yamashita looked up as the officer took his spot at his shoulder.
"I'll wait here," Ryo said, and stood to the side, pretending not to listen and glancing around the room. He heard the chair scrape against the floor as Ueda sat down, and snuck a look over.
Yamashita looked terrible. His eyes were red and there were deep bags under them; his hair was shorn close to his head; and his skin looked pallid under the fluorescent lights. His eyes looked lost.
"Tatsuya?" he asked, and Ueda nodded.
"Hey, Tomo," he said, and Ryo could almost hear the tiny smile he knew Ueda must be wearing.
"Tatsuya-- I miss you so much-- I-- I am so, so sorry," Yamashita stuttered, tripping his own words in his haste to say them. He sat up in his chair, and Ryo could see he was aching to take Ueda's hands in his own. Ueda's hands were lying under the table, curled into fists on his knees.
"Yeah."
"I was stupid-- I was so stupid. Please forgive me, I'll never do that again, baby," Yamashita continued, and Ryo felt eyes on him. He wasn't sure if they were Yamashita's or Ueda's though. He was watching a rough-looking man talking to his wife. Not eavesdropping.
"Baby?" Ueda asked, rather thoughtfully. "You've never... called me that before."
It didn't seem like Yamashita had even heard him. “When I get home, I’ll quit that job. We’ll move into the city, into a little apartment, and you can have that dog you’ve always wanted. I’ll let you work, too, and you can bring your friends over.”
“And... you won’t... hit me?”
Ryo turned, stomach dropping. “No,” Yamashita said forcefully. “No, I won’t.”
He couldn’t stand any more. “Ueda? Time’s up,” he said, briefly touching Ueda on the shoulder to get his attention. Yamashita’s eyes flashed dangerously.
It all happened very quickly. Ueda stood, and Ryo turned, and then Ueda was making a strangled noise behind him and there was shouting. Ryo turned back to see Yamashita grab onto Ueda’s upper arm tightly, slamming him into the table. Ryo shouted as the guards leapt at Yamashita, wrenching him away from Ueda and pulling his arms behind his back. Ryo grabbed hold of Ueda, instinctively pushing him behind him as Yamashita struggled in the guards’ hold.
“Alright you two, time to leave,” another guard said, ushering them back through the door as Yamashita called out to Ueda.
“Tatsuya, please!” he kept repeating, but Ueda wasn’t answering, arms folded in front of him and head down, focused only on getting the heck out of there. Ryo just followed.
They said nothing until they had gathered their meagre possessions and had made their way back to the car. They sat there in silence, the engine off, just sitting, mulling things over in their minds.
“I don’t believe him,” Ueda suddenly said, and Ryo looked at him.
“Hmm?”
“I don’t. He promised me everything I ever wanted. But I don't believe him.”
“And I don’t believe you,” Ryo said softly.
“...yeah.”
Ryo turned the car on as the first tears fell.
The radio was on - some new song about scars and love and falling and cursing. There was a lot of cursing. It was a rather cloudy day out today. Ryo wondered whether it would rain or not. Speaking of which - had he done his washing for the day? Or did he do it yesterday? He had to make dinner tonight, too. Hopefully he had something in the cupboard. Wait-- yes. Yes, he had chicken fillets, and potatoes, and there may have been some kind of vegetables in his fridge.
Was Ueda still crying? “Ueda?”
“Yep. Yep I’m okay,” Ueda said hurriedly, wiping his face. “I’m good.”
“Are you scared?” Ryo found himself saying, even though he had been trying to leave it alone.
“Terrified,” Ueda laughed, sniffling. “Absolutely terrified.”
Maybe this had been a bad idea, after all.
>>><<<
Kame practically flew at Ueda when he walked through the doorway, pressing his hands to Ueda’s cheeks and checking him over, as if he could see any emotional scars on his body. “Are you alright? What happened? You’ve been crying. You’ve been crying! Ryo, what did you do?” Kame fussed, dragging Ueda away from the rather shocked Ryo, pulling him up the stairs.
“...Nishikido?” Ueda called, as if to ask for help.
“Come on, Ueda,” Kame said, tugging on his arm. “Come tell me all about it.”
And then the two were gone, disappearing into Ueda’s bedroom, leaving Ryo and a rather disturbed-looking Jin in the entrance. “Um,” was all Ryo said.
“Yeah,” Jin answered. “Did I just lose my boyfriend to Ueda?”
Ryo laughed. “As if Kame would ever part from your side,” he said, nudging Jin into the kitchen. “I need a drink.”
“What happened there?” Jin asked, pulling a beer out of the fridge for Ryo, who took it gratefully. “Why was Ueda crying?”
“Yamashita went a bit... crazy,” Ryo admitted, after a long drink. “He grabbed Ueda.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He was so... creepy-looking too,” Ryo continued. “Like... he’d lost his mind or something.”
“Something... being Ueda?”
“Hmm?”
“Maybe he’s going crazy cause he lost Ueda?” Jin offered, and Ryo paused.
“That... makes sense.”
“Yeah well. He’s been in control over every part of Ueda’s life, but now he hasn’t seen him for weeks, and has no idea where he is,” Jin continued. Ryo nodded. That made perfect sense. “Also, I think we should go save Ueda from Kame.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Ryo laughed, before Ueda was running down the stairs and stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. “Uuh. Are you okay?”
“He’s insane,” was all Ueda said.
“Kame?” Jin asked, and Ueda nodded furiously. Jin sighed. “What has he done now-- nevermind, I’ll go find him.” With that, Jin was gone in search of Kame, heading up the stairs.
“What did he do?” Ryo asked.
“He was trying to get me to go shopping with him,” Ueda said, reaching for a beer. “I don’t think I ever want to go shopping with him again.”
Ryo laughed. “That’s probably for the best.”
End of chapter 9.