It is time..
This is my last week at the zoo and I could cry. My new job as a trainee at an estate agents company starts on monday and I am getting that sort of panic again that i had years ago. I don't want to do this, I don't want to have a contract which lasts 3 years (or if I am hard working 2,5 years) because it gets me back into this awful feeling of ( Read more... )
I had a similar identity crisis when I hit twenty. It was when I was going into uni for the first time and committing to a 3 year degree (in Computer Science). I wanted to be an artist or a musician but really, I knew also I had a knack for maths and logic and figuring things out.
So I committed for 3 years on a degree in Computer Science, some of it was really hard. My best friend moved to Florence in Italy then and everybody was getting split up and doing different things. I really wanted to just quit and give it up a few times along the way but ended up managing to pull through and get my degree (mostly just through stubborness).
What I think is making you panic is the feeling of not feeling like you can do anything at all. Y'know when you're younger you have the option of doing everything (astronaut! medical doctor! actor! computer programmer!) the roads are all open. Then when you get older you have to choose a road. If you don't you'll just be stuck at the crossroads with *none* of the possibilities.
I think you're pretty much doing the same thing I did. Spending three years on earning yourself a backup career. Of course I've ended up actively using that (what with my current job) but I'm enjoying it although it can be very hard as well. Still having money and resources to enjoy your hobbies is a lot. You're not your job, you're you. A job is a way to have roof over your head and eating (and paying for swords of course).
Reply
Leave a comment